Archive for the 'Kids say the darnedest things' Category
(Chronologically Listed)
As Chuck D said, bring the noise
Tacy: I know how to get five dollars from Daddy.
Me: Oh really? How’s that?
T: If all three kids don’t cry for an entire day, he’ll give us each five dollars.
Me: Interesting.
T: Of course it probably won’t happen.
Me: You’re probably right.
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Would you believe that my three year-old cries more than my two month-old? And […]
Published by mothergoosemouse on March 26th, 2008 tagged Baby makes three (kids), Dirtying up other corners of the web, Kids say the darnedest things, Miss Goosie, Miss Mousie | 25 Comments »
Elimination day at the zoo
Yesterday we went to the zoo, as has been our Easter tradition since 2003. As we were packing up, I called upstairs to Kyle, “Toss down a spare outfit, will you?”
“Think we’ll need it?” he called back.
“Remember what happened at the zoo when CJ was Oliver’s age?”
A striped sleeper landed on my head, and […]
Published by mothergoosemouse on March 24th, 2008 tagged Baby makes three (kids), Home on the range, Kids say the darnedest things, Miss Goosie, Miss Mousie | 22 Comments »
Cassowaries and killer hairballs
J: Tacy, take your hair out of your mouth.
T (removes hair): Why?
J (rolls eyes)
T: Oh. Right.
K: You know, Tacy. There was a girl in India - this is a true story, I’m not making this up - who kept putting her hair in her mouth and swallowing it, and she ended up with […]
Published by mothergoosemouse on January 16th, 2008 tagged Kids say the darnedest things, Miss Goosie, Who me? | 10 Comments »
You had to be there
Scene witnessed on the kindergarten playground while peering out the car window after dropping Tacy off yesterday:
Tacy and her friend S approach a boy wearing his cap askew and a black leather jacket with silver zippers.
S holds her hand over the boy’s mouth. Tacy steps close to him, holds up her index finger, and […]
Published by mothergoosemouse on January 11th, 2008 tagged Kids say the darnedest things, Miss Goosie, Miss Mousie | 10 Comments »
Future shiksas?
When Tacy came home from school a couple weeks ago bearing a construction paper menorah she’d made that day, I was pleasantly surprised. Later that evening, when she presented me with this creation, I was even more pleasantly surprised:
Not fully accurate, but a good try for a gentile, don’t you think?
But when she brought […]
Published by mothergoosemouse on December 19th, 2007 tagged Dirtying up other corners of the web, Kids say the darnedest things, Look at me, look at me!, Miss Goosie, Miss Mousie | 14 Comments »
The old standby isn’t anymore
Tacy and I are discussing what to pack in her lunch for a field trip.
J: How about pasta? It’ll be cold though.
T: No thank you.
J: A turkey sandwich?
T: No.
J: Baloney?
T: Um…no.
J: How about a hummus sandwich?
T: What’s that?
J: Chick peas. Your daddy and I like it.
T: No thank you.
J: Well, let’s see. […]
Published by mothergoosemouse on December 9th, 2007 tagged Baby makes three (kids), Kids say the darnedest things, Miss Goosie, Who me? | 17 Comments »
Future lead-footed driver
While driving in what constitutes heavy traffic in suburban Denver:
CJ: Go faster, Mommy!
Me: I’m trying.
CJ: Try again!
Published by mothergoosemouse on November 17th, 2007 tagged Kids say the darnedest things, Miss Mousie | 6 Comments »
Well, I did want her to learn to read and write
But this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind:
Hey, at least that’s funny. What I found written on the Magnadoodle several hours later wasn’t funny.
Okay, maybe it was.
Remember the scene from “A Christmas Story” when they get a flat tire and Ralphie gets out to help his father change the tire and the bolts […]
Published by mothergoosemouse on November 12th, 2007 tagged Kids say the darnedest things, Miss Goosie, Who me? | 18 Comments »
Fight for your right to peace and quiet
CJ is upstairs, screaming, but I can’t hear her very well because I’ve got the Beastie Boys turned up to full volume on my headphones.
(Kyle’s up there with her; don’t call CPS yet.)
It’s been a long week for a nearly seven months pregnant woman with mice in her garage.
(Yes, mice. Crossing my fingers that […]
Published by mothergoosemouse on November 10th, 2007 tagged Kids say the darnedest things, Miss Goosie, Miss Mousie, The king of beers, Who me? | 13 Comments »
Lemme hear your potty talk
Tacy, dancing around the family room, singing: “I’m riding on my horsie to hell!”
Too much AC/DC, perhaps?
CJ, pointing to the outdoor thermometer (which is round): “Big c*ck! Daddy’s c*ck!”
Has she been riding the subway with Bumper when she’s supposed to be at school?
Tacy, writing on the paper covering the tablecloth at Piatti: “POOP FART […]