I have to believe that she didn’t know because believing that she knew and just didn’t care? I can’t handle that right now.

the new girls last blog post..A Tough Day

caramamas last blog post..Question of the Week – Those Girls and Their Cookies

As you said, mothergoosemouse, it’s the shaming of the child that is awful to me, especially because this wasn’t a safety issue or anything like that. It was because she wouldn’t perform when her mother wanted her to. What this mother did? It may be a different parenting style, but I simply don’t think that humilation and shame is ever a good way to raise a child.

Meanwhile, I’m going to believe that the mother slapped her own leg in frustration and didn’t hit the girl. And you all can let me believe it, or I’ll start crying in a way that only a moody pregnant woman can do.

caramamas last blog post..Question of the Week – Those Girls and Their Cookies

We so often forget about those childhood fears when we become adults/parents. We want our children to perform because it reflects well upon us. But it isn’t us that has to perform. My heart breaks for that little girl, especially for being shamed in front of the whole pool, her grandparents and you and your daughter. These things stick longer in the mind, the physical pain only reinforces that emotional pain IMHO. I never know what to say to people in those situations…but I want to scream at people…THEY ARE JUST A LITTLE KID, LEAVE THEM BE.

Mom101s last blog post..On motherhood and identity and generalizations and the crazy jeckyl and hyde-ness of it all

Likewise, we all parent differently. What works for one child doesn’t necessarily work for another, so we modify our disciplinary tactics accordingly.

However, I don’t believe that shame is an appropriate disciplinary tactic, especially not for a young child.

I have had 3 very different children. 1 is like CJ in that she is easy to please, does what she says she’s going to do (mostly) and responds well to polite, calm words.

I have 1 child who must have a monotone voice used when he would freak out in a public place (far too often). He would only calm down if he was left in a corner with me beside him, not making eye contact, but being present. Sometimes took upwards of an hour for him to regain control of himself… Lots of fun.

I have another child who doesn’t respond to calm voices, polite requests, or gentle, but stern voices. He is also the child who will claim to be thrilled about an outing/class/new situation/etc. until he gets there and maybe decides that he doesn’t want to do it. It doesn’t matter that the situation isn’t negotiable/was expensive/is a safety precaution/etc. Stubborn doesn’t cover his reaction…. The only thing that works for him (unfortunately) is harshness. It KILLS me. It really does, but he has to have the ultimate threat or punishment doled out before he will respond and concede to the authority of his parent’s wishes.

Perhaps this little girl is way more difficult than we give her credit for? Perhaps this was her idea to have her grandparents fly out to watch her and they spent tons of money and she let them down?

I don’t know. I’m not saying that the way she handled it was correct or mature. But I am saying that I am not always correct or mature in my dealings with my own children. I am not looking for a pass on my bad behavior, but I certainly wouldn’t have responded well to a stranger butting into a confrontation between my son and myself…

traceys last blog post..Great. Now I’m hungry…