Shredding my shame
I haven’t bought a workout DVD in more than a decade. After all, who needs DVDs when there are rooftop gyms in New York and bike trails in Colorado? I can’t even make it through most classes without rolling my eyes, let alone a rah-rah video shot in a fake studio.
When I work out, it’s about kicking my own ass and achieving personal fitness goals – not looking cute for the guys at the gym or checking off a box on my to-do list.
The looking cute part comes later, after I’ve had a shower and applied lip gloss. Oh, and after I’ve put on some clothes. Mustn’t forget the clothes.
Last year, I trained for my first sprint triathlon. This year, I’ve got a bunch more lined up – and they’re paid for, so I damn well better be ready to finish them.
But even though I can swim 500 yards, bike 13 miles, and run 3 miles – all in less than 90 minutes – I’m not digging the physique:
I have back fat. When the hell did THAT happen?
Worse than the back fat, I have this layer of padding around my midsection. In the Girlfriend’s Guide, Vicki Iovine referred to it as “upholstery”, and she’s spot on. It would be useful if I lived in an igloo in the Yukon, but as it is, it’s just a nuisance.
And worst of all, the intense training I did in preparation for last year’s triathlon didn’t transform my body in the way I’d hoped. In terms of what I could physically DO – absolutely yes. But in terms of appearance – not so much.
So when Kristen mentioned that she and Kyran were going to do Jillian Michaels’ “The 30 Day Shred” in March, I was intrigued. I’ve got a month left in the weight loss contest at Kyle’s office, and less than two months before my first sprint tri of the season. I don’t watch “The Biggest Loser” regularly, but I figure their staff trainer has to be ratings-worthy and not too much of a figurative pain in the ass.
But oh man, is she ever a literal pain in the ass. Today was Day 2 of my 30 Day Shred, and even my hair hurts.
Side lunges with anterior raises should carry a government warning. Yowza.
On the bright side, I didn’t have to purchase a DVD – Workouts 1 and 2 of the 30 Day Shred are available on Comcast On-Demand. And considering how much entertainment my “shredding” provides the children, I shouldn’t have to buy them a DVD for a while either.
It’s not too late to jump in the mix. Follow us on Twitter (hashtag #shredheads) and check out Kristen’s shredding site, with her own semi-clothed pictures and running commentary on the effects of shredding. Hopefully most of them will be positive.
March 3rd, 2009 at 7:14 pm
You’re brilliant! I just got back form finding it on Comcast as well, for free! I think I’m going to go die now.
Amelia Sprouts last blog post..Starting the addicts young
March 3rd, 2009 at 7:21 pm
I see a hot athletic mama! My entire body hurts after Day 2 of the Shred. But, it’s a good pain, so I’ll keep at it.
Fairly Odd Mothers last blog post..My (not very) big, fat Greek Wannabees
March 3rd, 2009 at 7:26 pm
MY GOD, you have hit upon the ultimate solution here. Yukon, here we come!!!
Kyrans last blog post..Souled: The Ethics of Product Reviews
March 3rd, 2009 at 7:28 pm
I did a few days of this. My ears didn’t hurt, and neither did my eyeballs, but that’s about it. Here’s what I learned: be VERY careful with your lunges, and DO NOT let your bent knee end up over your toes or (heaven help you) bent so far that it extends even past your toes. That is a sure way to intense pain and deep longings for knee replacements. I have switched to a running plan instead. It’s a little scary when intense running hurts less than a DVD — but, believe it or not, it seems to be easier on my knees.
All of which is to say: I wish you much luck and hope you fare FAR better than I did.
And a sprint triathlon? You are awesome!
MommyTimes last blog post..The Great Babysitter Dilemma
March 3rd, 2009 at 8:02 pm
I just started going to the gym a couple of weeks ago. I’ve been working with a personal trainer and oh. my. god. am I sore. ALL THE TIME. I just have to keep my eye on the prize, that size *cough* bikini from before the baby.
Good luck with the Shred!
Caras last blog post..Show Your Email
March 3rd, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Sorry. Can’t stop staring at yer bewbies.
You’re hot.
Motherhood Uncensoreds last blog post..I smell something fishy
March 3rd, 2009 at 10:53 pm
Hell, that’s not back fat–
you just need a different style bra.
You look great.
But I still wish you best of luck
in your quest to look even awesomer.
March 4th, 2009 at 7:16 am
You ladies are braver than me posting these photos! But I DO have the Shred DVD. Sounds easy … it’s NOT!
And, BTW, you already look fab!
PunditMoms last blog post..Army Mom Shows Up for Duty with Kids — A Stunt or Act of Necessity?
March 4th, 2009 at 8:54 am
I don’t get that — my sister just ran a marathon and she is so annoyed because she still has a mushy middle. Seems ridiculously unfair!
Shreddin’ right with ya.
mayberrys last blog post..My jet set friend
March 4th, 2009 at 9:21 pm
I guess just because we can do one exercise well doesn’t mean we can do them all well, right? If I tried to run a marathon (or just around the block) I think I’d die.
But you? You’re looking awesome. (And even if you’re a little mushy in the middle, you’ve got great obliques!)
Christinas last blog post..Grumpy
March 5th, 2009 at 9:14 am
Dude, I’ve seen you in your underpants. You are HOT. And you don’t have back-fat. Just nice bewbs.
Her Bad Mothers last blog post..Truthiness In Muffin-Top Portraiture