Sneaky sneakers
When I was in seventh grade, I borrowed a book of music from my harp teacher for a competition at a local university. While there, I misplaced the book and had to return home without it.
I was terrified to face my teacher at my next lesson. I was already scared of her, even though she’d never raised her voice to me. The thought of admitting to her that I’d lost something she’d entrusted to me – it still makes my stomach queasy.
I endured a quietly stern, “I’m-disappointed-in-you-I-thought-I-could-trust-you” lecture, ordered a replacement book for her (paid my parents back with money from my savings account), and never forgot how much it sucks to lose something – especially something that belongs to someone else.
Last Friday, Tacy didn’t go to soccer practice. Not because it was cold and wet – Kyle grew up playing soccer in the never-ending Portland drizzle and is thoroughly unsympathetic to wet weather-related complaints – but because she came home from school without her sneaker.
One sneaker made it back into her backpack after P.E.; the other did not.
While she had to stay inside that Friday evening, we didn’t punish her any more that weekend. But she did go to school on Monday under strict orders to check the lost and found for her sneaker.
She forgot. On Monday, and on Tuesday too.
So on Tuesday evening, we told her, “If you don’t come home with that sneaker tomorrow, you will not play with your friends after school.”
“What will I do?” she asked, as if we were planning to put her to work scrubbing toilets. Which is actually not such a bad idea.
When she arrived home from school on Wednesday afternoon, I greeted her with, “Hi sweetie, did you find your sneaker?” hoping for a triumphant “YES!” from her.
Her face fell. “I forgot again.”
Then my face fell. “What?!”
Her voice rose. “Nobody wrote me a note to remind me!”
On Thursday morning before she left for school, she pirouetted to show me the notepad (BlogHer swag from Lawyer Mama) she’d attached to her backpack. “I wrote myself a note,” she informed me. “So that I won’t forget today.” I was impressed.
She still came home without her sneaker. “I LOOKED for it! It wasn’t in the box! We dug all the way to the BOTTOM!”
I relented and let her go outside once Kyle got home. She’d tried, after all.
By Friday morning, I had resigned myself to going shoe-shopping that afternoon before soccer practice. Of course, we’d be going with Tacy’s piggy bank in tow, but it still bothered me that we’d have to shell out for a second pair of sneakers.
Then the phone rang.
It was our neighbor across the street, who’d gone in with the kids that morning. “We found Tacy’s sneaker,” she reported. “It was in the lost and found, but shoved inside the sleeve of somebody’s sweatshirt.”
I thanked her profusely. “Tacy will be outside playing this afternoon, but first I’m going to make sure she comes inside to write you a thank you note,” I told her.
Just like the music book I lost twenty-something years ago, replacing a pair of sneakers isn’t going to break the bank. Nor is it worth getting a little girl’s stomach all tied up in knots. But personal responsibility and the value of money are still important lessons to learn.
I’m hoping that Tacy has learned these lessons earlier and with much less angst than I did.
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Who wants to win an iPhone? I do I do I do I do I do!!! Unfortunately, I can’t win one – but you can. Tell your own tale of teaching your kids financial responsibility, and then tell us about it over at PBN. We’ve got three iPhones to give away, thanks to Capital One.
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Want to win a bag like the one Tacy’s holding above? Even better, how about one filled with all sorts of sporty stuff and a couple boxes of Quaker Chewy Granola Bars? Go visit Mother Knows Best.
September 13th, 2008 at 5:01 am
[...] you see the cute bag over Tacy’s shoulder over at mothergoosemouse? Want to win one yourself? It’s not just [...]
September 13th, 2008 at 6:21 am
[...] Sneaky Sneakers [...]
September 13th, 2008 at 11:25 am
I can say this as an adult but I wish those were the kind of taking responsibility lessons my parents taught me as a kid – I would have hated it as a kid, but damn – it drives the point home.
September 13th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Wow. Tacy looks so sophisticated!
“Natural Consequences” and “Responsibility” go very far in this world. You’re spot on.
Kariannas last blog post..Kaiser Permanente Wrongfully Included in Autism Speaks Treatment Network
September 13th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
I love that she wrote herself a note. Good girl!
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September 13th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
You’re such a smart mama!
Heathers last blog post..Just Another Day
September 15th, 2008 at 6:45 am
Beautiful plan and execution! I am always AWED when I go to school and they put out the lost and need to be found stuff a couple of times each semester–there are like 3 8ft table stacked with stuff. I was one of those, lose stuff all the time kids, and I so don’t want to pass it on.
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