She’s just three
My mother always told me that three was a wonderful age: “Oh, I loved it when you were three. You were so much fun. I wanted you to stay three forever.”
She always sounded really sincere, but now that I’ve had two three year olds of my own, I’m wondering if she wasn’t just trying to put one over on me. Because three? Is maddening.
Despite the significant differences between Tacy at three and CJ at three, there are some definite similarities that I would have never expected.
First, selective deafness sets in at age three. In boys, it persists through manhood. In girls, it comes in handy when you have a family of your own that you must occasionally tune out in order to get anything done.
I can say CJ’s name several times at increasing volumes, and it’s only when I finally SHRIEK her name that she looks up at me in surprise: “You talkin’ t’me?” This has been a problem with Tacy for years, and it’s part of the reason that raising my voice has little effect anymore. When I have to shout in order to get a child’s attention so that she will take the sippie cup of milk – that she requested, mind you – from my outstretched hand, it’s no wonder that shouting in the face of danger is futile.
Just last night, Kyle and I went outside, and CJ locked the sliding glass door on us. We BANGED on that door while she sat not three feet away, engrossed in Dora. Thanks to her speech delay, her hearing’s been tested several times already, but while she can hear a barely audible *ping* from somewhere behind her, she can’t hear two adults screeching to be let back in the house.
Then there are the sleeping arrangements. Tacy had just turned three when we moved from a two-bedroom apartment to this house, so we chalked up her sudden need to sleep in our room to that transition. We let her fall asleep in our bed, then transferred her to her own bed, then put up with her taking over our bed in the middle of the night. This continued for at least six months before she started falling asleep in her own bed, but with all lights blazing, and even then there was no guarantee that she’d stay in her own room all night. It’s only been a year or so since she’s consistently fallen asleep in her own room with the lights off and stayed there all night long.
(And now we can’t get her little buns out of bed in the mornings. Oh, how I miss afternoon kindergarten.)
At first, we thought we’d dodged the co-sleeping hurdle with CJ. She was content to stay in her own room as long as her bed was piled high with activities. Books, puzzles, her Magnadoodle. We’d check on her before heading to bed ourselves and find Littlest Pet Shop paraphernalia from last weekend’s Happy Meal perched on her headboard. One night she was sound asleep, but still clutching the string of a Red Robin balloon in her fist.
But then she started coming into our room in the middle of the night, and now she insists on beginning each night in our bed. Which is fine now that Kyle has accepted my mandate that she be limited to ONE sippie cup of milk before bed and make a final trip to the potty before donning her night-night diaper. It really sucks to change the sheets on both her bed and ours three nights in a row.
And unlike Tacy, she is cheerful even when unexpectedly awakened in the middle of the night. Two nights ago, I returned from feeding Oliver around 4am to discover that CJ had migrated to my side of the bed. I lifted her back into the center of the bed, and she chirped, “Hi Mommy!” before dropping back off to sleep.
Finally, the novelty of asking why has worn off. While Tacy jabbered in complete sentences before she was a year old, I’ve spent the past two years waiting for CJ to say something intelligible…anything at all. I was absolutely tickled the first time she asked why. It’s a cognitive leap! But even the greatest cognitive leaps become irritating when they happen a hundred times a day, and even the most patient parents start to snap, “Asked and answered,” when the same question has been posed a dozen times in the last hour.
(She does the cutest thing though. “But whyyyy?” she asks. Upon hearing the explanation, she sighs, “Ohhhhh.” I wish I had it on tape.)
Three is maddening. Three will try your patience more than two or one or even those dreaded newborn weeks. But deep down, three really is fun. In much the same way that roller coasters are fun. And I love roller coasters.
Maybe my mother wasn’t so far off after all.
August 20th, 2008 at 5:45 am
I think that is a great analogy for three. I was complaining to my mother that 3 was really harder than 2. She poo-poo’d that idea. Abby when to spend a week with her in Ohio, the second day my mother called to say she thought I was right (a rare, rare thing!).
I hate to say we still have the selective hearing thing going on at 7 & 5.
Mama Mavens last blog post..Iron Girl Countdown
August 20th, 2008 at 6:52 am
I had to laugh when you talking about the selective hearing. Carter is SOOOOO bad for that. I thought it was just him. I can be standing right beside him and he’ll only turn his head after I’ve SCREAMED his name at him!!
He’s three on Friday and I’m so not ready. It’s been hellish already!
August 20th, 2008 at 8:17 am
I used to say that three was my least favorite age, until I met four. Four in both of my girls (sigh…Nata just turned four, it’s gonna be a long year) is full of attitude and back talking constantly which kinda makes me want to smack them around a bit. Or duct tape their mouths shut. Both of which I’d never do, but I have thought it.
Issas last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: the Issa can’t type or fasten her bra edition
August 20th, 2008 at 10:18 am
Where you looking in my windows again??
Heathers last blog post..Check it out!
August 20th, 2008 at 11:14 am
I will maintain until my dying day that three is BY FAR worse than two.
But thanks for the reminder that it does have its positives.
mayberrys last blog post..Almost famous
August 20th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
So that’s why 3 is kicking my ass. I’ve always hated roller coasters.
I hate 3. I’d really like it to go away now. Even if there are some choice parts.
Chicky Chicky Babys last blog post..Out of the mouths of skinny babes
August 20th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
I’ll take your word for it. Maybe I’ll even bookmark this post for future reading. My son is only 2 1/2 and I keep thinking that I may not survive anymore. Or at least he won’t survive.
But, yeah, roller coasters ARE fun. That should be my mantra.
Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for childrens last blog post..Spirit
August 20th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
we are about 5 days into THREE. and it’s killing me.
alis last blog post..skeletons
August 20th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
I did not have the terrible twos with my boys. I had the terrible THREES.
I think I’m still recovering…
Loralees last blog post..WHOOPS! I hate it when that happens!!
August 20th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Oh man, this is what I have to look forward to? I’m in deep trouble.
Caras last blog post..Welcome to Bawlmer, Hon!
August 20th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
I agree. At our house, age 2 has always been pretty darn charming. But 3 has historically involved much terror.
design moms last blog post..Imoga
August 20th, 2008 at 6:59 pm
I adore 3 year olds. They are twice as much work as a 2 year old, true, but their imaginations and enthusiasm is so innocent and sweet.
And a 3 year old over a 7 year old, anyday, thanks.
Mine are 9, 6 and almost 3 and if I could just freeze them right now, I’d be a happy camper…
traceys last blog post..sniff…
August 20th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
I’m still laughing at you being locked out.
HAHAHA
Motherhood Uncensoreds last blog post..You Try Getting Your Husband to Wear a Vibrating Leather Cock Ring
August 20th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
I am weird because I loved 3. I agree it is more challenging than 2 but for me it was a lot more fun.
My daughter will always be 3 yrs old in my eyes because that had to be me my favorite time with her….
But yeah I knew I was weird.
Erica/Txgambits last blog post..Back to School – Wordless Wednesday
August 20th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
3 is maddening–that’s when they start to defy you. But at the same time, they’re learning and growing so quickly that they’re utterly amazing at times!
August 20th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
As for “WHY?” – I’ve started asking the same question back to Q-ster. Surprisingly, he usually answers with what I just told him . . . unless it’s an answer he didn’t like.
Lady Ms last blog post..Life After Michael Phelps
August 21st, 2008 at 10:25 am
I really knew Rosie and CJ were peas in the pod, but reading this reminded me again just how much so. It’s like reading about our bedtimes with Rosie.
Nancys last blog post..Writing with sunshine
August 21st, 2008 at 10:26 am
But… but… but… I was counting on it getting BETTER by three! You have just shot down my hopes and dreams.
Just tell me it gets easier at some point! It does, doesn’t it?
At least they are cute and can be fun, even when exhausting.
caramamas last blog post..It Comes With the Job
August 21st, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Oh my holy heck, thank you for clearing up the reason for selective deafness. That makes so much sense. We are entering three as I type (two months early – oh yah) – why has already driven my completely insane. You are one strong woman.
motherbumpers last blog post..happy landings
August 21st, 2008 at 7:00 pm
I barely remember 3. As a matter of fact, I barely remember 9 and 11, and that was just last year. That’s what too many hours in Hot Topic will do to you.
sweatpantsmoms last blog post..She’s Done With Lullabies
August 21st, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Three is so RIDICULOUSLY HARD right now. How can three be so angry? You’re only three for Pete’s sake. I keep trying to remember that three won’t be here for ever but then three just wallops me again and makes me cry uncle.
binkytowns last blog post..If a squash can make you smile…
August 23rd, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Three’s were a breeze compared to the F’ing 4’s. I seriously thought I was going to loose my find when both Thing 1 and Thing 2 went through the 4’s. My Mom told me that it was preperation for the teen years. I sure hope she was right because Thing 1 will be entering that phase on Monday. Heaven help me.
Jesss last blog post..Breath Taking
August 25th, 2008 at 8:10 am
Three has been a challenge, and I’m really looking forward to 4. Of course, she’s now starting to question me more, so maybe I’m in for it at 4.
(And to keep Cordy in her room at night, we put a gate in front of her door. She can call to us if she needs anything, and she can honestly push the gate down, but it’s a physical reminder to stay in her room.)