The power of generosity
We’ve got a lot of stuff.
We didn’t always have so much stuff. When you live in a modest two bedroom apartment, no matter how spacious those bedrooms might be, there’s a limit on what you can reasonably accumulate. Even kids have to be taught to cull the piles.
Even though Tacy’s room in New Jersey was filled with furniture and clothes and books and toys, she honestly didn’t have much excess. There simply wasn’t the space for it.
Having since moved to a house – where we’ve got much more room – in a town where we hit McDonald’s and Target with much greater frequency than ever before, we’ve started to accumulate far more than we need.
Sometimes it’s nice that I don’t have to be such a hard-nose about what we keep and what we pitch. I can indulge the packrat tendencies that we all share to one degree or another. But every so often, I go through the piles with a fine-tooth comb and insist that we make some hard choices about what stays and what goes.
The best time I’ve found to do this is in the weeks leading up to the holidays. Because even though my girls cherish each bit of plastic and each scrap of reading material, they’ll both willingly part with possessions when I ask them, “What would you like to share with other children who don’t have as many toys as you do?”
It lessens the anguish when they know that another child out there will give their well-loved and gently-used toys a good home. I may have to cajole them into sharing with each other, but when it comes to sharing with kids who have much less, they are generous to a fault.
And it’s a good lesson for them to start learning early – that they are extremely fortunate to have as much as they do, and that if they have clothes and books and toys that they no longer use, why not share those items with someone else who otherwise probably wouldn’t receive them?
But the coolest part is the sense of power it gives them. They might not be big enough to get a job or drive a car, but they are big enough to help other people. In fact, by setting aside prized possessions to be donated to others, they’re making a difference in a way that adults can’t. I can cart my table and chairs down to Goodwill, but I know that I’m planning to buy another set. Kids give up items without considering whether or not they’ll be replaced, and that’s what makes this gesture of theirs so powerful and so sincere.
So I’ll allow the accumulation to continue for another couple months or so, and then we’ll have our annual pre-holiday purge. My girls will gain some space in their toy boxes, along with the satisfaction of making another child’s holidays a bit brighter.
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How are you teaching your children about compassion and generosity? Tell us about it as part of this weekend’s PBN Blog Blast, sponsored by Generation Cures. Even if you don’t write a post, please go check out the Generation Cures website with your kids. It’s a fantastic place for them to learn about philanthropy, science and medicine – on a level that resonates with kids.
August 1st, 2008 at 6:28 am
My daughter (God love her) is extremely generous — mainly because I think she thinks that if she gives away stuff, she’ll get new stuff.
However, I’m all for replacing a bunch of stuff she doesn’t need (and giving it to someone who does) with one thing that she does.
It’s how we work things – and we let her pick out the stuff that needs to go.
Motherhood Uncensoreds last blog post..Blog the Recession
August 1st, 2008 at 6:52 am
[...] The Power of Generosity [...]
August 1st, 2008 at 6:52 am
[...] The Power of Generosity [...]
August 1st, 2008 at 8:06 am
Your quote “My daughter (God love her) is extremely generous — mainly because I think she thinks that if she gives away stuff, she’ll get new stuff” made me laugh because my 4 year old son is SO like that.
Throughout the year, but mainly during the holiday season, we give things to charity. (It’s funny, my son still thanks that “Charity” is a person.) We also volunteer our time (visiting the sick, elderly, etc.) Personally, I think that the parent’s example is the best way to teach our children about compassion and generosity.
Kimberly/Mom in the Citys last blog post..Questions About a Boy…
August 1st, 2008 at 8:14 am
Pre-holidays – that’s a good way to do it. As Q gets older, I’m starting to involve him in the sorting process instead of making things disappear at night.
Lady Ms last blog post..Frivolous Questions on My Mind
August 1st, 2008 at 10:40 am
We’re going to a baseball game tonight that’s sponsoring a Teddy Bear Toss: toss a new or gently used bear on the field to be distributed to kids in need. Home run!
mayberrys last blog post..Nope, still not done talking about that appendix
August 1st, 2008 at 12:15 pm
When my child(ren) gets older, we plan to do the same with her. She still so small, that we’ll do it ourselves this Christmas, but hopefully we can take her with us on the drop off to start getting her used to the idea. I really love that you guys do this and your kids are so generous about it!
caramamas last blog post..Hugs and Kisses
August 1st, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Wow. You are awesome. Your kids are awesome.
Not only does this give me hope for humanity, but it gives me hope for my own kids. In another year or two. Two and a half and one aren’t prime empathy ages.
Amy Jos last blog post..The Book of Job SOB
August 1st, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Oh Julie, all I have wanted to do all month long is purge stuff from the girls’ room/toy chest/every corner and surface and drawer of our rooms.
I’m not sure how much of it is altruism and how much is me just wanting to see my table tops. But it all somehow runs together.
Mom101s last blog post..Not Pregnant.
August 1st, 2008 at 10:38 pm
I still remember doing this as a kid! Taught me a lot…great thing to have your kids do! Some years my parents had us save up money and go by presents for a family and then leave it on their doorstep late at night, always will remember that too.
vanessas last blog post..ARCHIVES Saturday:Shopping—My Steal on Gloves
August 2nd, 2008 at 8:20 am
I am ashamed, thoroughly ashamed, of the amount of plastic crap we have from McDonald’s of all places. Half of it is broken and half of us, none of us can figure out what it’s supposed to do. One day, my husband and I secretly rounded 75% of it up and threw it out. And guess whose prying eyes found it?
I like the idea of giving it away to charity. Nate might give it away kicking and screaming, but at least it will be somewhere else. And eventually he’ll learn a lesson of compassion out of it.
Mandys last blog post..If I Believed in Reincarnation
August 2nd, 2008 at 8:29 am
That is really wonderful. I hope to instill that sense of generosity in my child and I often wonder how I can make that happen.
Caras last blog post..In a Mommy Moment Redux
August 2nd, 2008 at 8:30 am
(Oops, hit submit before I finished.) I like the idea of giving them the choice to give their old toys to charity. Definitely something to remember for future years.
Caras last blog post..In a Mommy Moment Redux
August 2nd, 2008 at 10:43 am
We purge toys twice a year: Christmas and their birthday’s. Luckily, their birthday’s are in the summer so it is a nice stretch.
This way, the kids also know that they are losing some things but gaining new ones. The loss isn’t as bad. And it sets us on a really good schedule. Doing it twice a year means it doesn’t have to be so drastic.
Loralees last blog post..Why bother with the birds and the bees when you can just scare the hell out of them?
August 3rd, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Thank you so much for supporting Generation Cure! As the mom of a child with cancer, it’s awesome to see people using their skills to promote a venture so deeply committed to helping fund pediatric cancer research.
Teaching kids the gift of generosity early is a precious thing. Your girls will thank you for it.
Anissa@Hope4Peytons last blog post..Because I dig my kids!
August 6th, 2008 at 9:27 am
I love this post. I know a family who does the same thing with their boys each Christmas time. It is definitely a struggle for them each year, as they have to pick a certain percentage of their toys to give away but the lesson is a great one and as they have gotten older, they’ve expressed real pride about it.
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