Putting myself in time-out and liking it
I was going to confine my post-BlogHer commentary to last week’s relatively brief post, but then I read these posts from baby-toting mamas Her Bad Mother and slackermama and Canape. As another baby-toting mama at BlogHer08, I reflected on how my BlogHer experience has differed over the last three years.
While I never worried about flying across the country to meet up with a bunch of women I’d never met before, my first BlogHer conference in 2006 was definitely nerve-wracking, even with that fabulous social lubricant provided by BlogHer sponsors at the poolside cocktail parties.
I knew one single person there – Mayberry Mom. I had to introduce myself to absolutely everyone else. Even though every single woman I met was lovely and gracious, I felt as if I was constantly “selling” myself, and it was exhausting.
BlogHer07 was easier, even though I was pregnant. For one thing, I didn’t have to contend with any hangovers. But more importantly, I had found a niche. Not only did I recognize people and greet them warmly, I had my closest friends by my side. I could smile and introduce myself with greater ease, and by doing so, I hope that I helped put other people at ease.
But BlogHer08 has been my favorite conference yet. Even though it grew exhausting to cart Oliver, his stuff, and my stuff everywhere I went, I was surrounded by women who were thrilled to help. And even though I often had to take time out to care for him – feeding, changing, soothing – those time-outs actually made my experience that much better.
Instead of feeling compelled to be in a dozen places at once, meeting and greeting everyone I possibly could, I was forced to step away from the chaos of the conference and take care of Oliver, and by extension, take care of myself as well. Even at the parties, I found quiet spots to nurse and spoon-feed.
Sure, I missed some of the fun. I missed meeting many women whom I’d hoped to see. I missed connecting with clients. But as I found in the two years prior, there’s only so much that can reasonably be crammed into a single weekend. I approached BlogHer08 with lowered expectations of both myself and the conference, and came away pleasantly surprised.
That said, I’m looking forward to attending solo next year. Not only will I be glad to help care for other people’s babies, but I’ll remember the lessons I learned at BlogHer08 and take time out to care for myself too, even without baby in tow.
July 28th, 2008 at 6:06 am
I still feel like I’m being the geek girl trying to hang out with all the super cool kids.
Maybe someday, or in my next life, I’ll get over that! It was so nice to see you again, tho’ not for long enough.
PunditMoms last blog post..Need More PunditMom?
July 28th, 2008 at 6:15 am
The concept of a hangover-free BlogHer IS appealing…
Assertagirls last blog post..Gone veggie.
July 28th, 2008 at 7:06 am
See. When I read stuff like this it really makes me want to go to the Blogher conference. I, unfortunately, am not daring enough to fly across the country with baby in tow so I have to live vicariously through all of you brave souls. Hopefully next year.
Caras last blog post..Touching Down
July 28th, 2008 at 7:57 am
It was nice, wasn’t it? I was so much more relaxed – which isn’t what I expected because I’m a rather nervous mama.
I’m already a little sad that I won’t have a little baby to take next year
canapes last blog post..Was there a time you weren’t here?
July 28th, 2008 at 8:00 am
While I may never feel “relaxed” in a giant gathering (I’m way too shy), I admired how calm and in control all the mothers with young ones appeared to be. Next year I will have a 5 month old… so maybe I will go, maybe not. Overall though, I really enjoyed the conference and it always helps to force a wallflower to do the meet-and-greet routine.
Mandys last blog post..An Oops
July 28th, 2008 at 9:56 am
blogher was overwhelming me for…and i was there, alone. i can’t even imagine all you brave women who brought your babies! my hat’s off to you, woman!
alis last blog post..hi, i’m ali and i am an internet liar
July 28th, 2008 at 9:58 am
You and I talked about this during the conference, and as I said then – yes. In a way, talking about time outs is a different way of talking about (as I did) standing on the sidelines, looking in. There was something really rewarding about that, at times – not feeling that I needed to be (or could) be in the thick of the game.
Her Bad Mothers last blog post..In Which My Son – Clenching My Heart In His Little Fist – Eclipses Me Utterly
July 28th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
That is yet another lovely thing about babies…they force us to slow down a little. If only time would do the same.
Heathers last blog post..Baptism Day
July 29th, 2008 at 12:13 am
I enjoyed seeing you, as always, and this year was even better because I was so close to your boobs. oh, and your adorable babe.