The car DVD player: peace and quiet, or complete chaos?
While it’s no secret that I’m free with my opinions on a variety of incendiary topics, I rarely come down hard on other people’s parenting styles and choices. Where it comes to parenting, I say live and let live…with one small exception that never fails to raise my eyebrows: the car DVD player.
I’ve heard all the reasons to justify having a vehicle DVD entertainment system, and while I was never convinced that we needed to get one too, I accepted that many families did consider their car DVD players to be a must-have. Even for a trip to the grocery store, some mothers found it easier to maintain the peace if the kids were occupied with a DVD.
When we began planning our road trip from Denver to San Francisco to Portland to Denver, I didn’t consider getting a DVD player. After all, we drove to Colorado from New Jersey when Tacy was three and CJ was three months old, with no electronic entertainment whatsoever, and we all survived quite well. Growing up, Kyle and his family drove all over the western half of the country, and my family and I drove all over the eastern half of the country - all without a DVD player.
But friends of ours offered up their portable DVD player, insisting that it would make the trip so much more bearable for all of us. Kyle accepted, and I acquiesced. Maybe this trip would prove me wrong; maybe a car DVD player would afford us some much-needed peace and quiet while on the road.
WRONG. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. That DVD player was a constant source of consternation.
Tacy had all the DVDs with her in the third row. But she couldn’t reach them without taking off her seat belt. Once she got a hold of them, she had to toss them up to me in the front passenger seat. Then I had to take off my seat belt, twist around in my seat and pop them in and out of the player, which was hanging from the back of the driver’s seat, directly in front of CJ.
Once everyone was buckled up again and the DVD was actually playing, Tacy constantly complained that she couldn’t see. Either the screen was angled wrong (which caused problems for both girls) or CJ shifted position so that she was blocking the screen. Tacy kept leaning forward to get a better view, thereby rendering her seat belt ineffective, and intermittently pestering CJ to move.
Even if they both had had their own private screens and personal remotes, they still would have continued talking all through the DVDs. Some kids sit quietly and watch movies; my kids multi-task. So the DVD player not only didn’t keep them quiet, it served as an additional source of noise over which they had to shout when they were trying to get our attention: “What state are we in NOW?”, “Want Coke!”, and “I have to go poop!”, just to list a few. Add in a fussy baby and the blathering of talk radio, and you’ll understand why I was on the lookout for the nearest sensory deprivation chamber.
I gave the car DVD player the best opportunity possible to demonstrate just how fabulous and necessary it could be, and it failed miserably. If it had been a success, I still wouldn’t have immediately run out and bought one myself, but I would have done so before the next big road trip.
As it is, not only will I not buy a car DVD player, I’m not planning any more big road trips for three years at minimum. Between the rooftop car carrier, the price of gas, and the car DVD player, I’ve had enough family vacation excitement to last me a while.
July 26th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
We got suckered into a DVD played when we brought our van - but it was a built in. So the screen flips down and everyone in the second and third rows can see it. And you change the DVD’s in the front like a CD (it even has a remote, but I don’t know where that is, we’ve never used it). Right away, we made a rule that it can only be used on long trips (anything over an hour). So it’s not used much. Occasionally, if I’m running alot of errands, I’ll pop something in to keep them from being bored. Overall, it’s ok but not a necessity.
margarets last blog post..Shorts
July 26th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
I get a little judgy about this one….mostly because I spent my entire childhood on car trip vacations and never died without a DVD player. We have our laptops that the kids have used once before on a trip. That was after twelve hours in a car and they were both tired and grouchy To me it’s not worth the hassle of even that, as they rarely sit through any movies and they’re six and four. We don’t have one in our SUV. When we bought it, they were shocked we didn’t want one.
Now I will say…and I know someone can easily judge me for this one, my kids have iPod Shuffles, which they only get to use on vacations. Mostly because I am a mean mom and I can’t handle listening to that Miley-Jonas-Camp-Musical crap. Then again, them singing it might be worse.
Issas last blog post..Mothering is hard…..
July 26th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Here, here! (or is that Hear, hear?)
NGs last blog post..Last Lecture
July 26th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
My car DVD player probably saved my sanity a few years ago. My grandmother died and while she had lived in SC, we lived in TX. I had to drive back home because I couldn’t get a cheap enough flight in time. It was actually cheaper for me to drive back then. My husband couldn’t come with us, his job (Navy) couldn’t afford him the time off. I drove about 1500 miles both ways with a nearly 3 year old. By myself. If not for the car DVD player, I would have lost my mind. It kept him entertained in 1 1/2-2 hour spans so I could cover some ground.
That being said, I have it still in my vehicle, set up and ready to go, but I can count on one hand how many times we’ve used it since. All on long road trips.
I’d love to be the mom who can keep my kids entertained on a trip. Singing songs, playing games, clapping as a family. But when you do a lot of road tripping alone, a DVD player can save your butt.
Lisas last blog post..ICK. afghan?
July 26th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
We used one on the last 2 hours of our LONG 2 day trek from Philly to Atlanta. Of course, I only had one kid who cared about it and it worked wonders.
But quite honestly, the only thing that would save you and your sanity on another one of those crazy road trips.
A PLANE. (Tell Kyle I said so).
Motherhood Uncensoreds last blog post..There Are Heroes Among Us
July 26th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Although I love our car dvd players 90% of the time, it’s when they get into sing-along mode that I want to just stick my head out the window and let the glass slowly asphyxiate me. But, we ONLY use them for long road trips as well so they are always a neat NEW shiny treat.
Anissa@Hope4Peytons last blog post..The Healing Power of Ribbons
July 26th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
We use ours only on long car trips (which are only about 4 times a year). And we have 2 screens. Much easier because the kids each get their own screen to angle how they want it.
Heathers last blog post..New Fair Food?
July 26th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
We use ours only on trips lasting more than two hours. But, I also have kids who completely zone out in front of a video, so there’s that.
It also saved my sanity on a particularly harrowing 8-hour plane ride.
Whenever people talk about how we all survived without DVDs, I point out that WE were rolling around in sleeping bags in the way-back of woody station wagons, not locked up in 5-point restraint car seats. Different circumstances call for different solutions!
madges last blog post..My Dogs Ah Bahkin’
July 26th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
We have a portable DVD player that we only use on our road trips (anything over 2 hours). Otherwise, it isn’t worth the hassle to haul it into the car, listen to the kids bicker over which DVDs we’ll bring, and then have to wrench my back as I turn around in my seat to tinker with the damn thing. My kids are 4 and 6 right now and once they can get lost in Judy Blume and Beverly Cleary, the DVD player will be collecting dust and we’ll all be reading quietly on the way to Grandma’s house.
July 26th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
God invented the people that invented DVD players and antidepressants. Our family drove all over the place with no DVD but once we started the DVD thing, our trips were a lot less stressful.
July 26th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
I get touchy about this one too. Yeah, it is possible that a car DVD player will make your kid quiet, and make things easier for you. But does that really make the car trip better? Hard to say. They still talk through the whole thing. Or, maybe they act like my six year old sister watching her DVD with headphones and keep shushing everyone b/c they can’t hear the DVD. ARGH!
What bothers me even more is when I see people at restaurants with portable DVD players letting their kids watch TV at the table while they ignore their kids and eat their dinner. WTH?
July 27th, 2008 at 7:52 am
I land firmly in the you don’t need them camp. I can see the point when you may travel with kids alone, but I figure if my parents survived it, we can too. I definitely won’t ever get one installed in a car (not that I would ever drive a car that offered them, but that is another matter)
I hear they still make coloring books, lap desks, and that I Spy is still a playable game, and we’ll stick to that.
I’m gonna be the mom that makes other people’s kids eat veggies when they’re at my house, so I guess to each their own though.
Amelia Sprouts last blog post..I named the baby doll Hazel
July 27th, 2008 at 10:30 am
ouch. Sorry it didn’t work out so well. Next time I’ll keep my yap shut.
Aimee Greeblemonkeys last blog post..Declan’s new joke that he thinks is hilarious but really is not.
July 27th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
We used to make the drive to Southern California (8 hrs) overnight because Q-ster would sleep through it and we’d rather not mess up his sleep schedule. I don’t think I’m in good enough shape for all-nighters any more. And certainly not for a longer trip like you just did!
July 27th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
I find those things really distracting whenever I see them on the road around me. There’s nothing like watching an episode of the Simpsons while sitting at a red light! Dinky cars and colouring books worked fine when we were kids!
Assertagirls last blog post..Homecoming.
July 27th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
We have a portable DVD player for long trips, meaning it’s been hauled out for a total of two road trips in the last two years. For us, it’s been a god-send, but I had to laugh at your description of the process you underwent to entertain the kidlets. If I’d had that experience, I’d feel the same as you!
Mandys last blog post..An Oops
July 27th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
ty ty ty ty ty for writing this. I thought my kids were the only kids in the entire world with this problem. We were driving from Kentucky to Wyoming with a 16 month old and a 3 year old and so I bought two for the trip.
I was constantly switching the dvd’s my 3 year old ALWAYS wanted to watch what the baby was watching, on and on.
Well now that they are 5 and 3 I pulled them out again for a recent road trip.
I was actualy considering strangling them with the power cords for a second there. Finally I got out, took both players away and packed them never to be seen again.
The earphones even made it worse for me because then the kids would be shouting you know to hear themselves.
Saras last blog post..Looking up, literally
July 28th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
We did 11-hour car trips up and back to Cape Cod every summer. We played games with each other, sang along to tapes, read (kids don’t seem to get carsick the way adults do), and a whole host of other things. And took breaks when we needed to.
So I don’t see the need for the portable DVD players. My husband already insists we will need one, and our toddler is 16 months and won’t sit still for anything longer than 10 minutes! Of course, he never did many car trips growing up.
I think I’ll have him read this post. I just don’t think it’s for us. And I’m glad to hear someone else explain why.
caramamas last blog post..Question of the Week - Please Re-Phrase That
July 30th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
We do long road trips 3-4 times a year (over 1000 miles one way) and all 3 of my kids get car sick — no coloring books, no reading, no anything that requires looking down. We do lots and lots of books on tapes but that DVD player has saved their lives more than once.
July 30th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
We didn’t have a dvd in our car until recently. We got it because our son needs to be entertained at all times or else he is fussy. He used to cry (and loud) on every trip in the car. Plus he hates to be strapped into his car seat or stroller for very long he likes to be out and about. Ever since we got the DVD player it’s been awesome. He just sits and watches, hardly makes a peep, and I can get to where I am going with minimal distractions. The only problem so far is that we got the DVD player after market so it doesn’t always work (just says loading) and my son won’t wear the head phones so I have to listen to his dvd’s over and over. But it’s worth it to not have a toddler screaming his head off to the point he makes himself puke every time we get into the car. Now if it is a simple trip just down the road I don’t put it on. I think it all depends on your kid whether it’s worth it or not. Every child is different. It works for us but it doesn’t for others. That’s just the way of it in my opinion.