We ARE the Griswolds

Now that I’m finally feeling as if I’ve had a good night’s sleep – that is, one spent in a bed by myself, with minimal interruptions, and a reasonable bedtime and wake-up time – I’m ready to tackle the insanity that has characterized this trip so far.

Even though Kyle’s the one with a degree in Logistics Management, I’m the logistician in our family. You can take the girl out of project management, but you can’t take the project manager out of the girl.

Before the trip, I made checklists. I even checked items off the checklists. I downloaded directions for every move we’d make, and printed them out. I researched hotels and rest stops and gas stops. I set out clothing for all five family members and packed very carefully – carry-on items for the flights to and from Dayton, big suitcases for the drives to San Francisco and Portland, and appropriately-sized toiletries for each. I pared down my selection of shoes to only six pairs. And ever ambitious in my triathlon training, I packed workout clothes, a swimsuit, and goggles.

Ha. Ha ha ha ha ha.

On the upside, our flights were uneventful. CJ flailed and whined and had to poop in the airplane lavatory, but to her credit, she actually WALKS on the moving walkway in the airport (unlike far too many adults who just lean against the railing and riiiiide).

Tacy and CJThe weekend in Dayton was wonderful. We had the entire upstairs to ourselves at my aunt’s house (formerly my grandparents’ house), and Herman Anne had decorated it beautifully – complete with strings of white lights around the windows, a Pack-n-Play for Oliver, and a TV in the girls’ bedroom. We saw family and friends whom we hadn’t seen in years, and we ate tons of Marion’s Pizza (yes, my favorite pizza in the world – second only to Kyle’s – comes from Dayton, Ohio).

The trouble started shortly after we got on the road in Denver.

When Kyle had filled the rooftop car carrier with our luggage – back at home, before we even headed to the airport – he discovered that the lock had broken. He closed the top, left it unlocked, and didn’t tell me. He figured the latch would hold just fine.

And it did, until we were on Rt 287 in Wyoming, just south of Laramie, where the cross winds got to be too much for the unsecured latch – and the top of the carrier blew right off, spewing luggage and jumper cables and Kyle’s racquetball racquet across the highway.

We pulled over, gathered our stuff, shoved it ALL inside the car – Tacy and CJ had suitcases on their laps – and carefully made our way up the highway to a ramshackle general store that was straight out of an old western. They gave us some twine, and Kyle re-packed the carrier and tied it down as best he could. Then we drove even more carefully to Laramie and located the nearest hardware store, where Kyle bought up every last bungee cable they had.

Kum and GoAfter gassing up at the Kum and Go, we got back on the road. And other than CJ’s penchant for unlatching her car door (at least five times) and the twenty-minute tandem meltdowns of Tacy and Oliver (while CJ remained uncharacteristically placid), the rest of that day’s trip was quiet. We made it to Salt Lake City in time for Kyle and the girls go swimming while I put Oliver to bed and sipped a well-deserved glass of wine.

The next day went surprisingly well for quite a while too. CJ opened her door a few more times, and the girls fought over the borrowed DVD player, and I even took over driving once we hit the Nevada state line.

And then we hit a bump.

Literally, there was a sign that said BUMP, so I took it down from 80mph to just under 70mph, but it wasn’t enough. Two of the bungee cords snapped, the top flew off, and another suitcase was airborne.

So again, we pulled over, gathered our stuff, and got out the spare bungee cords to re-secure the carrier lid. Both girls peed by the side of the highway while I nursed Oliver, and Kyle got everything back in place.

Haight AshburyWe made it to San Francisco without any further catastrophes. We even managed to find street parking in the Haight and didn’t get any tickets. But when Kyle retrieved the car on Thursday morning to pack it up for his trip up the coast with the girls, he discovered it had a flat tire.

Oliver and I are flying to Portland tomorrow morning to meet back up with Kyle and the girls, and we’ll be heading home a couple days later. I’m guessing that CJ will open her door a few more times, and I’m certain that the fighting over the DVD player will continue, but I’m desperately hoping that our bad car karma has run out and that the tires and the car carrier will hold up on the way back.

Oh, and that Kyle will agree to my suggestion that we take three days (instead of two) to drive home.

Published by mothergoosemouse on July 19th, 2008 tagged Bwahahaha!, Look at me, look at me!, Miss Goosie, Miss Mousie, Olliepop, The king of beers, Who me?
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11 Responses to “We ARE the Griswolds”

  1. Heather Says:

    Wow, I would have wanted to turn around and go back home. Hope your trip home is boring.

    Heathers last blog post..I got nuthin

  2. Jozet at Halushki Says:

    omg…you know, if you had that all on tape, you’d make a million dollars.

    What an excellent new reality show: families on vacation with kids.

  3. Cara Says:

    That is the craziest story! I can’t imagine what went through your mind when all of your luggage took flight over Wyoming! Keeping my fingers crossed that the return trip goes a little more smoothly!

    Caras last blog post..Kilroy Was Here

  4. Anissa@Hope4Peyton Says:

    I’m sorry, but my sad little gutterbrain can’t stop laughing over the “Kum and Go” store!

    So glad you made it home alive.

    Anissa@Hope4Peytons last blog post..Manifesting your feelings

  5. Alison Says:

    I can just picture your luggage strewn all over the highway in the middle of nowhere. :) Is it terrible that I’m laughing?

    I do hope the trip home is less eventful, though. And I look forward to the pictures of Oliver with all the ladies. :)

  6. Gretchen Says:

    Kum and Go? They’re all the rage here.

    Here’s to an uneventful rest of the trip!

    Gretchens last blog post..I’m Baaaaaaack!

  7. manager mom Says:

    OK.. first of all, thanks for the shout-out.

    I am slightly scared as I feel like we may have had some sort of Vulcan mind-meld because a) our pre-trip preparations are eerily similar and b) I just posted yesterday about OUR trip, and I also had a National Lampoon Vacation reference in my title.

    I think we should be married to each other.

    manager moms last blog post..Big Ben! Parliament!

  8. Lady M Says:

    Whooooo. That’s one durable suitcase you have, if it’s still in one piece.

    It was great seeing you and the amazingly cute Oliver.

    Lady Ms last blog post..The Westin St. Francis Learns All About Household Appliances

  9. Megan Says:

    HONEY! Doesn’t your car have a child lock on the door which makes it impossible to open from the inside? Open the door and look along the edge of the car door for a little lever you push up or down (mine says LOCK with an arrow pointing down, some have pictures of an open or closed padlock).

    Glad the driving portion of the trip is over (for now). Enjoy your time in CA and OR!!

    Megan

  10. Tree Says:

    The Kum & Go sign is straight out of Oklahoma, I swear to you.

    I think my parents endured a similar trip about 35 yr ago!

  11. What am I going to do next? Says:

    [...] last summer’s travel mishaps and my vow not to travel anywhere overnight with three children in tow until Oliver was at least [...]