The top ten gym annoyances
Watching personal trainers yap and yap and yap. You carry on a conversation with your clients while they’re supposed to be exercising, and then you CHARGE them for it? Get a psychiatrist if you want to chat, and pay THEM.
Watching someone do push-ups, moving only his head. Get down on your knees until you’re ready to do a real push-up. You look like a bobble-head doll.
Glimpsing a whale-tail. Nobody cares about your VPLs at the gym. Put on some underwear, woman!
Listening to dudes lift weights. I understand that great exertion sometimes produces a grunt or two, but you sound like you’re giving birth. Ease up on the drama.
Listening to dudes drop weights. If you can’t replace it on the rack with a minimal amount of noise, perhaps you ought to try some lighter weights. Might help with all your histrionics too.
Being left alone on the treadmill with a thoroughly revolting program on the TV. Like…oh…maybe COWS. Giving BIRTH. With assistance from HUMANS. Maybe the dudes upstairs lifting (and dropping weights) turned on this show, but I don’t want to watch it.
Avoiding people who swim through the lap lanes. Get your lazy ass out of the pool and walk around to the diving board. Don’t get in my way.
Discovering that the only lap lane available is the one that extends into the deep end. Yes, I know I’m irrational, but can I swim in the shallow end, puh-leeeeeeze?
Sitting down on the toilet in the locker room after swimming lessons have ended. Yep, that’s pee on the seat, all right.
Being WATCHED in the locker room. You know what I mean. And you know who you are. Cut it out, m’kay? I know my belly looks weird – I’ve had three children. What’s YOUR excuse?
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New post up over at Mile High Mamas, antagonizing those who love trucks, those who drive trucks, and those who love those who drive trucks. Anticipating death threats (“I’m going to run you over with my truck! How d’ya like THAT?!”) from the local Association of Truck Lovers.
June 25th, 2008 at 6:53 am
OK, now you’re enabling us lazy asses who don’t even go to the gym …
mayberrys last blog post..20 lousy pairs of scissors
June 25th, 2008 at 7:30 am
I need some edjamacation. What the heck is a whale-tail? I agree with your list. I also get annoyed with the ladies who come to the gym every day and sit on the recumbent bikes next to each other and bike VERY slowly while chatting the whole time. I’m busting my fat ass on the elliptical behind them, and I just want to get down and slap them for making me feel bad for having to actually work at it.
Cheryls last blog post..Shush Little Girl
June 25th, 2008 at 8:17 am
The guy who constantly checks to make sure you’re not looking at his girl’s ass because in some goofy patriarchal worldview he OWNS the vision of her ass. Dude I’m on a treadmill. I feel like a rat in a cage. So I’m going to stare at your girl’s stairclimbing ass 6 feet in front of my face. It’s a given. My wife is over there on the eliptical. Go check out her ass if you want. It’s nice.
Black Hockey Jesuss last blog post..Blog Wars
June 25th, 2008 at 10:09 am
that’s why i go commando at the gym. no whale tail in sight.
alis last blog post..pocketables and robot musicals
June 25th, 2008 at 10:33 am
Ew, Ali. Butt crack is worse than whale tail.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
You’re now reinforcing my desire to avoid the gym.
Also? The guy who spends all his time checking himself out in the mirror while he is lifting is annoying. Dude, flex for yourself in your mirror at home.
Christinas last blog post..Give Me Your Best Frugal Living Tips, O Wise Readers
June 25th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Add me to the list of women who didn’t need more excuses not to go to the gym! (Although I’m still under “doctor’s orders” for no exercise!)
Heathers last blog post..Tutu cute?
June 25th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Rude people that sweat like hogs and don’t wipe down the gym equipment after they use them. That’s just gross. My pet peeve.
June 25th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
OK… I am giggling. What’s a whale-tale? I’m guessing another way to say camel toe, right?
I also hate those big apes that leave huge weight plates on the barbells. I actually like free weights but I can only bench press an empty bar (talk about looking pathetic). I almost broke my toe trying to get one of those 25-lb things off of it.
manager moms last blog post..Wii Are In Peril
June 27th, 2008 at 11:21 am
oh, I cannot stand the chicken-head pushup people either! and then they wonder why their necks hurt?!
how about the people who think they own a specific spot in the aerobics or spin room? they drive me crazy!
workout mommys last blog post..Food for thought Friday