Are you afraid of the dark?
Dealing with irrational fears is an inescapable part of parenting. When facts aren’t enough to convince a child that her fears are unfounded – for example, telling her that monsters aren’t real – you resort to silly reassurances like, “Monsters don’t like pink rooms, so you’re perfectly safe in here.”
Granted, they don’t always work – our kids’ bullshit detectors can be pretty sensitive – but more often than not, the all-knowing parent can convince the wide-eyed child that there really is nothing to worry about.
That’s why it’s all the more embarrassing when parents harbor their own irrational fears.
I’m not talking about improbable fears – tragic possibilities that could happen, but in all likelihood won’t. And I’m not talking about immobilizing phobias that require psychiatric care.
I’m talking about adults who’ve held onto a childhood fear (or two). Whose bullshit detectors have never allowed them to accept silly reassurances, but whose rational minds are trumped by their overactive imaginations. Who still close the closet door, turn on the night light, and run and leap into bed so that nothing under there can catch them by the ankle and drag them down.
My irrational fear? Being underwater.
That deafening silence when my ears are filled with water threatens to induce panic. Looking at the bottom of the pool and wondering what’s down there elicits the same reaction.
You’d think that for a mother of three, “deafening silence” would be an oxymoron. That I would cherish the auditory deprivation. But I don’t even like to lie back in the tub with my ears submerged.
I can’t explain my aversion to the bottom of the pool either. It’s not even a childhood fear; I used to dive for pennies and play Sharks and Minnows in twelve feet of water. And as much as it disturbs me to look around underwater, it’s a thousand times worse to think about swimming in a murky body of water, like a lake, where I can’t see a thing.
There isn’t a single dark corner in this house where I fear something lurking. I think night lights are a waste of electricity. And the only things under my bed are storage chests filled with baby clothes.
But each time I hop in the pool to take a swim, I have to constantly summon my rational mind to combat my overactive imagination and my one remaining irrational fear.
June 9th, 2008 at 6:10 am
Isn’t funny how rather than go away, these fears emerge or get worse as we age?
Over time I have developed a fear of heights and confined spaces.
Last year on a crowded flight I didn’t get the aisle seat. I always get the aisle… must have aisle!
I thought I was going to totally freak out: shred the guy in my aisle seat to get to the aisle where I would run up and back, screaming, tearing off my clothes.
I decided it wouldn’t be a good example for my kids…
tracys last blog post..Best Shot Monday- Fidge
June 9th, 2008 at 6:42 am
This is why I swim mostly backstroke. Seriously. I freak out in lakes and might drown if I didn’t swim backstroke. Sure, it is slower and more difficult to see where you are going, but I’d rather do that than drown.
toris last blog post..10 Random Things
June 9th, 2008 at 7:02 am
I still get a panic when in a pool that there could POSSIBLY be a shark in there. And lake Michigan. Not convinced that sharks only live in salt water. I don’t like it when I can’t see and/or hear all of my children at once, which I’m quite good at since I have so many. But that panic I get even if it’s for a moment whether we’re inside or out- I fear that. Need to know.
Steph
Adventures In Babywearings last blog post..Miracles Do Happen Even At Target
June 9th, 2008 at 7:04 am
Pools don’t bother me. But I’mw ith you witht he murky water. We have a boat so there are many oportunities to swim in the lake or river, where you can’t see a damn thing an inch in.
My family finds my shrills when things “get me” under water hysterical, and my paniced hyperventilating laugh just standing up to my knees in it causes.
I try not to terrify my boys who thus far have no fear of murky water, but the last time I swam very deep, (couldn’t touch) SOMETHING got my leg and I swam like a demon and ran up on the shore TERRIFIED that I was seconds away from being eaten alive…only to shrill with relief at the wead wrapped merciless around my right leg.
I’m hyperventilating just thinking about it.
June 9th, 2008 at 7:22 am
I hate to get my face wet. Seriously. I have to have a towel hanging over the shower door for when I wash my hair…to get the stray water off my face immediately.
Who me? Neurotic?
Heathers last blog post..Come find me!
June 9th, 2008 at 7:26 am
Nope, I am at one with the water. I prefer to swim under water.
Even though the thought of a great white eating me is kinda scary, I’d rather have it happen in the muddy brownish-greenish-blue waters off the Jersey shore than in the crystal clear blue of the carribean. I don’t want to see death coming at me.
I’m more afraid of a poisonous spider bite or some random drive-by shooting.
Catizheres last blog post..Back to the Beach
June 9th, 2008 at 9:08 am
Pools are fine. Clowns on the other hand? OMFG. I honestly fear that one day one will find me and kill me. They’re also pretty creepy in general.
Heather B.s last blog post..Overexposure to Awesome
June 9th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
I have found that the older I get, the more fears I develop. I was never afraid of rollercoasters until recently. Are they making them more fierce? I think so. Still. Now, I’m terrified. Wasn’t before.
And heights, as well.
Scared to look down.
Those highway fly overs.
Don’t like those either.
Zellmers last blog post..Ammunition for a guilt-free BlogHer Weekend Extravaganza
June 9th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
Understood. I have a fear of deep water. I swam in deep water every day for years and I would still have to do one lap with a kickboard with my head out of the water, one with kickboard with my face in and then just gradually start glancing down…It took about 5 mins for the fear to abate. Weird.
June 17th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
I harbor (ha ha) the same fear. Deep water. If my feet can touch the bottom, I’m more or less okay, but if I must tread water or swim like hell, I’m scared to death. I panic. Hyperventilate. Weird.
Darcies last blog post..A Sixer
July 14th, 2008 at 11:22 am
One Lucky Mommy had her first irrational mom freak-out yesterday. My wife, Auntie C, had taken the baby for the afternoon while OLM and her husband went to a movie. When they got back, Auntie C and teh baby were nowhere to be found. OLM promptly decided in one corner of her mind that Auntie C had wigged out and run off to Tijuana to raise the baby as her own. This was somehow more reasonable than assuming that they had fallen asleep on the couch together at nap time.
Lamont