Parents vs. kids: The swimming pool edition
Parents: Enter the pool in a dignified manner. No jumping or diving.
Kids: Make as much of a production as possible when getting in the pool. Run at full speed, launch yourself into the air while yelling “BOMBS AWAY!!!”, and hit the water cannonball-style.
Parents: Chase kids with a tube of sunscreen in hand, visions of future melanoma in your head.
Kids: Run away. Whine when you’re caught and made to stand still and be slathered, wasting precious minutes.
Parents: Notice a toddler (who cannot possibly be potty-trained) without a swim diaper. Offer one of your extras. When the toddler’s mother refuses your offer, consider tattling to the teenage lifeguard.
Kids: Pee in the pool yourself. Who cares if some baby is doing the same thing?
Parents: During adult swim, do not swim. Yell at dawdling kids to get out of the pool NOW. Then field requests for ice cream for the next fifteen minutes.
Kids: During adult swim, exit pool as slowly as possible by swimming to the ladder on the opposite side of the pool. Then pester your parents for ice cream until they cave.
Parents: When it’s time to go home, tell kids: “Five more minutes.” Repeat yourself at least six times before actually packing up and leaving.
Kids: When your parents tell you that you’ve got five more minutes until it’s time to go home, ignore them. You’ve got at least half an hour.
June 2nd, 2008 at 7:01 am
Adult swim … what a pain. What kind of a workout is an adult going to get in 10-15 minutes anyhow?
Our pool has adult swim from noon-1 p.m. and from then on it’s kid frenzy ALL DAY.
June 2nd, 2008 at 12:56 pm
I’m jealous about the swimming at all!
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June 2nd, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Wow you were at the pool on Saturday? Did not see you.
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June 2nd, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Ahh summer!
I won’t get to do adult swim this year. I’ll be chasing the toddler.
And yes, 5 minutes = 1/2 hour in kid time. So very, very true.
June 3rd, 2008 at 12:15 am
5 = 30 min? Oh yeah, we know that one.
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June 7th, 2008 at 10:16 pm
Awesome – love it
Don’t forget the writhing in pain and screaming when the sunscreen is too cold. And the empty threats…”we’re never coming back if you don’t leave right now.”
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