None of these kids is just like the others
What is it with grandparents who give duplicate gifts to all of their grandchildren, regardless of age or gender or interests?
I understand their good intentions - namely, that they want to avoid hurt feelings and perceptions of favoritism. And they don’t want to be crass and just give cash. But really, when you give such impersonal gifts - that may or may not be loved and appreciated - you might as well just give cash (which is always loved and appreciated).
My paternal grandparents once gave all of their grandchildren picture frames that had spaces for each year’s school photo - kindergarten through twelfth grade. My cousins’ pictures were displayed in their den, and the most recent photo was dutifully added, year after year. My unfilled frame sat in the back of my closet, as did my brother’s.
It’s not that the picture frame wasn’t a cool gift. Obviously it was a big hit at my cousins’ house. But my mother was never big on displaying photos. We had a few, but almost all of them were upstairs, and they were of us as either babies or toddlers.
Likewise, my maternal grandparents once gave all of their grandchildren Snoopy-themed sleeping bags. I liked Snoopy just fine, but it got to be kind of embarrassing to take a cartoon character sleeping bag to slumber parties in middle school. In fact, I think that same bag came with me to college and made an appearance during sorority initiation weekend. It’s a wonder I wasn’t blackballed right then and there.
Again, a fine gift - but not very personal.
I’m fortunate - and my kids are too - that my parents and my in-laws are thoughtful gift-givers. My in-laws have cornered the market on activity gifts - Razor scooters, a mini-trampoline, a Little Tykes slide - and my parents are the apparel experts - from Neiman Marcus to Target, my mother finds outfits to suit each child. I can be assured that neither set of grandparents will buy a gift that’s not age-appropriate.
Now, my mother-in-law did buy that ridiculous choking chicken (click and page down if you want to see/hear it), along with several other stuffed toys that sing and dance and make an unholy racket.
(I once dreamed that she sent a stuffed black cat - like Boo Boo Kitty on Laverne and Shirley - that played “Boy from New York City”. If anyone knows that such a toy exists, please do not tell her about it.)
But what’s really meaningful about the gifts that my parents and my in-laws choose is that they’re meant for the recipient. The fact that they take the time to select special gifts demonstrates that my children’s grandparents really know them and love them as individuals. As far as I’m concerned, that’s the best gift of all.
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Do your children’s grandparents give outstanding gifts? Or do you have to make a trip to Goodwill every time another box o’ crap arrives? (After you’ve sent a gracious thank you note, of course.) Tell us about it as part of today’s PBN Blog Blast, sponsored by Grandkids Gift Guide. You could win a bunch of Kushies Zolo Toys (hey, I’ve written about those before!) and a $50 Starbuck’s gift card. Happy mom, happy kids!
May 16th, 2008 at 6:14 am
My grandparents always gave me barbies because my cousin loved them. I never played with them, I hated barbies and wanted cars, but my mom saved them and my daughter’s thought they were cool. We are fortunate that both my in laws and my parents give the kids great gifts.
toris last blog post..I’m In Love With My Weather Man
May 16th, 2008 at 7:29 am
[…] None of These Kids is Just Like the Others […]
May 16th, 2008 at 7:31 am
When I was little, like before six, we used to visit my grandparents in Canada and he would give me crisp $100 bills!
Mrs Moguls last blog post..Dining at Waverly Inn and free scoop
May 16th, 2008 at 9:48 am
Absolutely. As a mamam to twins, it’s a real bonus when others see them as the individuals that they are. Great post!
CarolinaMamas last blog post..I am a Mommyblogger Twitter Me
May 16th, 2008 at 9:50 am
p.s. that was mama!
CarolinaMamas last blog post..I am a Mommyblogger Twitter Me
May 16th, 2008 at 11:14 am
My in-laws just go to the land of loud, terrible, horrible toys with no off button.
Apparently there are gender differentiations in that land, but that’s about it.
Motherhood Uncensoreds last blog post..What a Difference a Day Makes
May 16th, 2008 at 11:56 am
You do know that your vintage Snoopy slumber bag is now worth $5,900 on eBay, right?
See? It was an investment!
heh heh heh
I’ll get in on the next blogblast, I promise.
Jozet at Halushkis last blog post..Poem To A Mechanical Venus Fly Trap
May 16th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
My grandmother used to give my cousin and I the same gifts, but different colors. I always liked my cousin’s colors better than the one I got.
We have that chicken too. My daughter got it as a prize for selling during the fall fundraiser at school. It is pretty annoying.
Heathers last blog post..For my son
May 16th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
My parents and inlaws always ask what the boys need or what they would like.
I am also a fan of gift certificates. My parents often give them to the boys and then they take them to lunch and then go with them to pick out what they want (Which is their very favorite thing. Kids and Grandparents).
Loralees last blog post..Sometimes internet shopping can blow chunky wads of disappointment.
May 17th, 2008 at 4:06 am
PS — Just saw the breastfeeding at BlogHer button.
AWESOME!
Motherhood Uncensoreds last blog post..What a Difference a Day Makes
May 17th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Your post brings back memories…of shopping in the toy aisle, watching a stffed frog jump around singing Three Dog Night’s “Joy to the World” and saying to my husband, “No, I want your brother and his wife to LIKE us.” We didn’t buy it.
Daisys last blog post..Drain the swamp. Drain the swamp.
May 17th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
my mother? gives gift cards. of course, my 6 year old bob LOVES them. damn capitalist children.
May 18th, 2008 at 5:29 am
My mom is a great gift-giver: thoughtful, imaginative, age-appropriate. My inlaws stick to trucks (how many can one boy have??), or designer clothes which, while nice, are not the type of clothes that you would want to wear on a regular basis (i.e. button down shirts and dress pants…for the sandbox?????) Sigh.
nomotherearths last blog post..CIO Y/N?
May 18th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
You said this very well. Feeling recognized and loved is what the children will remember the most.
May 19th, 2008 at 2:50 am
Sometimes I think people are just checking gifts off their list and not really enjoying to me, what’s fun about giving gifts - imagining how excited the recipient will be to open it
Mom101s last blog post..Daddy Has Legs! Daddy Has Legs!
May 20th, 2008 at 4:44 am
My grandmother always gave us all the same thing, just in different colors- and mine was always an extra large. So not only did I know she didn’t think of me as an individual- she thought of me as fat. I was glad when she decided to just give us money, that’s the kind of impersonal I’m ok with.
Alis last blog post..Boy (who failed chemistry) Meets Girl (who failed basic social interaction)