Three months and ten to go
Pounds, that is.
I’m having a little trouble getting back into my old jeans as quickly as I did after the girls were born. Ten pounds isn’t much, but on a five-foot four-inch frame, it’s enough to keep me in elastic waistbands. Which is depressing, so I try not to think about it.
This weekend, I got a good dose of perspective from a woman who hates elastic waistbands even more than I do – Stacy London, who spoke at the Colorado Women’s Expo on Sunday afternoon.
I started watching What Not to Wear about a year ago. While I enjoyed giggling at Stacy and Clinton’s snarky comments and feeling superior to the clods they made over – compared to some of those women, I absolutely ooze style – I was honestly touched by the transformations that took place. These women underwent dramatic mental shifts because they finally felt attractive – and they really were attractive, regardless of their dress size or face shape or hair texture.
But I stopped watching when I discovered I was pregnant. Why bother figuring out what not to wear when, as I ballooned, I couldn’t wear anything that didn’t have an elastic waistband anyway? I’ll watch A Baby Story instead, and by the way, would you please pass me another Dove bar?
Now that the baby’s out and I can once again take the stairs two at a time, the weight’s been coming off. But I’m not a patient person, and it’s not coming off fast enough for me. I want to look in the mirror and like what I see – or, at the very least, not focus immediately on what’s still out of whack. I want this not just for my own satisfaction, but so that I can set a good example for my girls, demonstrating for them a healthy body image.
Stacy spoke about how personal stressors have contributed to her own recent weight gain. Granted, she’s at least half a foot taller than me, so the weight is better distributed and hardly obvious, but she admitted that her clothes don’t fit now. That was the point that really resonated with me: Due to temporary circumstances, both she and I just aren’t where we want to be.
And that gave me hope. If fashion magnate Stacy London can put on a few pounds thanks to everyday stress, then I – who just had my third child – ought to be a bit more patient with myself and a bit more forgiving of those elastic waistbands, at least in the short term.
A woman a few rows up from me didn’t feel the same way. She didn’t accept that Stacy was admitting her own fallibility, that she was as human as all of us in the audience. She stood up and shouted her rebuttals. When a facilitator approached her with a microphone (Why? WHY?!), she grabbed it and continued ranting. When the facilitator moved away (FINALLY!), she leaned over to a little girl – maybe eight years old – who was sitting with her mother, hissed at her, “She’s LYING!” and jerked a thumb over her shoulder in the direction of the stage.
It seemed that as much as this woman didn’t like Stacy, she hated herself even more.
I don’t want to hate myself for still wearing elastic waistbands at three months post-partum. Even more so, I don’t want my girls to see that I’m the least bit dissatisfied with myself – now or at any time. I want to set an example for them of unconditional love for myself.
That doesn’t mean that I’ll say screw it and dive headfirst into a box of Dove bars, vowing that every extra ounce of me is worth adoring. Patience and forgiveness is one thing; willful neglect is another. The same reasons why I make my kids eat their veggies and play outside in the fresh air apply to me too.
So, thank you, Stacy London. Thank you for being funny and smart and so in tune with what makes us look and feel good – and for not letting a heckler, or your errant ten pounds, get you down. Thank you for setting an example to follow.
Just let me hang on to my elastic waistbands for another month or so. I’ll be out of them before BlogHer, I swear.
April 29th, 2008 at 11:07 am
I still struggle with those last 10 pounds, and my “baby” will be 3 in June! But running has helped immensely and made me realize that it’s more how I feel, not what the damn scale says.
April 29th, 2008 at 11:15 am
I have had an enduring love / hate relationship with the scale. I lived without one for well over 10 years, only to buy one to reaffirm how “skinny” I thought I became after having baby #2. Now that I have stopped bf’ing and an extra 5 lb has found their home on my hips, I once again hate the scale.
My sense of self is more than three digits on a scale. I want something more better for both my kids, regardless of gender.
April 29th, 2008 at 11:16 am
Ack! “more better” indeed. I want something better for my children.
I apologize for such poor grammar and not editing before I hit “submit.”
April 29th, 2008 at 11:19 am
I think the weather will make a difference too. I feel so much more motivated to move now that it’s not dark and (way below) freezing all the time. Even if it did snow yesterday.
April 29th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Hey, I’m almost 6 months post-partum, and not only am I wearing elastic waistbands (they’re comfortable..ha, ha!), but I still wear some of my maternity shirts. Of course, that style is still “in style” right now. (Isn’t it??) I love What Not to Wear!
April 29th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Thank you for your post. I was recently at the doctor and my weight is at an all time high. I managed to lose the baby weight for 4 years and now – it is back plus. I have been avoiding reality, but you have motivated me that little changes and I can be happy with myself again. And I can be a good role model for my daughter. Again, thanks.
April 29th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Being healthy counts more than pounds – your girls will thank you for that attitude!
Meanwhile, I’m trying to see if I can avoid stepping on the scale until I’m six weeks post-birth, so that I can focus on just being healthy for a bit.
April 29th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Yes, definitely cut yourself some slack. My goodness three months is no time to have lost baby weight.
If you take your time losing weight, you’re more likely to keep it off anyway.
And we’re all more than just our weight.
April 29th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
I’m a weaning weight loser. Once Drew dropped a few feedings at around 7-8 months, I literally dropped 5-10lbs. It was weird.
And honestly, one of the things I love about that show is that they get people to dress themselves as they are, which I thin is so great to see how great people can look no matter what size they are.
April 29th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Well, it took me until Monkey Man was three before I even attempted to lose weight. And I did, but it’s still a daily struggle for me to keep it off. I tend to eat when I’m stressed, and boy – let’s just say that I’ve been diving into the ice cream lately. Ahem.
I love that show too – I agree with Kristen that it’s refreshing that the show embraces people in all shapes and sizes!
April 29th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
My boy will be 5 months old in a few days, and I’ve got 15 lbs. to lose before my pre-pregnancy jeans even come close to fitting. And I’ve been beating myself up about it, so I needed to read this post today. Thanks.
April 29th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
Yeah, after baby number three I became a fan of the low cut jeans and babydoll cut shirts, lol. I’d like to lose about ten pounds still too (five years later, hehehe), but every time I start to teh gym I break a foot, or a kid gets sick!
April 29th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
Wow. That’s really impressive that your little guy is only 3 months old and you’ve got a mere 10 pounds to go. (My son is almost 6 and I still have 10 to go! heehee.)
Sounds like you are doing everything right. It will come off little by little but it will come off.
And YEAY you for being sensitive to how you deal with the body stuff in front of your girls. Having a healthy body image is one of the best gifts you can give them! Not every mom has realized what you have.
April 30th, 2008 at 3:35 am
I’ve been reading your blog since January.
My ‘baby’ is nearly 15 and I’m still not down to my pre-pregnancy weight – only 30 pounds to go, lol.
April 30th, 2008 at 6:05 am
When I was in the hospital while radioactive a marathon of What Not to Wear was on. That show saved me! I love how they give tips that anyone can follow and just spruce up how you look no matter what size/shape a person is.
For the record, I started doing triathlons because I couldn’t lose the last little bit of weight after my 4th baby. Can I hook you on them too???? I know your husband can give you a push towards them too. I’m doing the Danskin again this year and it is fantastic for a first tri because it is super supportive and women friendly. Email me if you want info on my method of training and I promise not to sound as much lke and infomercial as I do here! They aren’t paying me, I just had such positive experiences with it that I wanted to share it with you!
April 30th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
I use to LOVE the original British version of “What Not To Wear.”
The weight thing is one of the toughest things about pregnancy. One day I was a beautiful, glowing pregnant woman and the next day (after delivery), I was just fat.
The weight will absolutely come off!
April 30th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
My son’s six months old and I’ve still got about eight extra pounds. Since I’m almost 5′3″, five is a lot. I think you’re doing great if you’ve only got ten left three months after your son’s birth, especially with three children to take care of. The weight will come off and, in the meantime, rock the empire waist and nice stretchy jersey stuff.
I myself just need to eat a few less cookies.
April 30th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
My baby is 13. I will start working on losing that baby fat soon.
Also, I can’t help but love the type from Motherhood Uncensored up there.
She meant to say “I think” and wrote “I thin”.
I thin, too.
April 30th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
I wore my fave maternity tee today. I am almost 1 year postpartum.
What? It makes my boobs look good.
May 1st, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Ironically, I was thinner after my babies were born than at any other time of my life. While I nursed them, I was amazingly healthy and strong. They just, well, sucked the extra calories right out of me. If I could recreate that weight loss magic some other way…now that they’re in high school and college…
May 1st, 2008 at 11:03 pm
I was a stomach flu virus away from my ideal weight after Jules was born (stealing a line here from “The Devil Wears Prada”) and then *miraculously* got the flu and lost all the weight.
Then in the last two months I’ve gained some of it back because I haven’t been exercising as much. It’s hard work!
Stacy London’s honesty sounds refreshing. And good luck with those last ten pounds! I’ll be trying to lose mine right along with you
May 3rd, 2008 at 7:58 am
Like Daisy, I lost more weight than I gained with both of my pregnancies so far. We’ll see about this one. However, I continued losing weight over the course of many, many months. Nursing absolutely burns up a lot of calories. I ate like a horse while nursing. Let your body regulate itself, and meanwhile, split a dovebar with someone you love.