We’re both working on it
Dear Tacy,
Today is your sixth birthday. Even as I type it, I still find it hard to believe.
We’ve certainly gone a few rounds lately, you and I. You’re already so grown up in so many ways that it gives both of us false expectations. I forget that I still need to exercise great patience with you, and you forget that you still don’t yet have all the answers. We’re both working on it.
As much as I admire your independence – how you ride your bike beside your father all the way to the swimming pool, how you sprint toward the kindergarten door without even a fleeting glance toward me, how you want to fly across the country by yourself to visit your grandparents – it’s hard to let you pull away from me.
It’s a delicate balance – allowing you control over the little things, exercising control myself over the big things – as I help foster your independence, while still giving you the guidance you still need. It’s only going to get more difficult as you get older and demand more freedoms. I’ll cross those bridges when I get to them.
In the meantime, instead of clinging to you when you want to be free, I savor the times that you curl up next to me on the sofa and put your head on my shoulder. Instead of telling you – with exasperation in my voice – that I have to work, I turn away from my laptop, look at you and listen. Instead of launching immediately into a list of undone tasks, I ask how you enjoyed school or how your skating lesson went. Instead of complaining that your outfit doesn’t match, I ask whether you’ll be warm enough and leave it at that.
At least, I try to do all of these things. Sometimes I forget. But when I forget, it reminds me that sometimes you forget too. We’re both working on it.
I know it doesn’t always feel this way, but please know that everything I do and say is done and said with the greatest and most all-encompassing love for you. Every single second of every single minute of every single hour of every single day and every single night – Mommy loves you.
Happy birthday to my amazing girl.
Love,
Mommy
April 9th, 2008 at 6:50 am
Dammit, now I’m all weepy.
Happy Birthday to your big girl!
chicky chicky baby’s last blog post..Obviously he’s never been to a decent keg party
April 9th, 2008 at 7:01 am
Big hugs and kisses to you both today — happy birthday, Tacy!
mayberry’s last blog post..Let’s just take five
April 9th, 2008 at 7:24 am
*blubbering into coffee*
Happy birthday to your big girl!!! (HUGKISSHUGKISS)
Her Bad Mother’s last blog post..In Which Payback Is, Like A Resentful Toddler, A Bitch
April 9th, 2008 at 7:51 am
Sounds like the struggles we’re having around here. Happy Birthday to both Mom and Tacy. You know you’re doing a great job when you recognize areas of improvement.
Heather’s last blog post..My Weight-Loss Plan and Other Weird Stuff
April 9th, 2008 at 8:19 am
*bwaaaaaaaaaahhhhh*
SIX!?! Unacceptable.
April 9th, 2008 at 8:27 am
Happy Birthday to Tacy! And good job, Mom. Sounds like you are doing a great job even through difficult times.
caramama’s last blog post..Another Rough Night
April 9th, 2008 at 8:27 am
This was beautiful. I love, love, love “real” parenting adoration.
Miss Britt’s last blog post..The Great Birthday Debate
April 9th, 2008 at 8:50 am
Happy Birthday Miss Tacy!
When you’re a bit older, I’ll give you my oldest daughter’s phone number. You can commiserate the burden of being the oldest in a family of three!
Hope today is a wonderful day!
Gretchen’s last blog post..The difference of twenty four hours
April 9th, 2008 at 8:57 am
What a beautiful letter.
It’s such a delicate dance, no? The yearning to see them grow independent and the desire to pull them in close.
Thanks for sharing.
Mandy’s last blog post..Are Aquariums PC?
April 9th, 2008 at 8:58 am
DAMMIT my eyes leaked while reading this. Beautiful BEAUTIFUL post and Happy Birthday Tacy. OMG I remember being six – how do they grow so fast? You’ve done a great job mom – because she’s an independent thinker – HIGH FIVE!
motherbumper’s last blog post..Somebody stop me before I go Hallmark
April 9th, 2008 at 10:42 am
I need to remember the patience and the fledgling independence when I deal with my own sixer, but most of all I think I’ll remember how you wrote this – and all the love on the page.
Happy Birthday,Tacy!
daysgoby’s last blog post..girl trouble
April 9th, 2008 at 11:07 am
Beautiful. That 5th paragraph is the key to life with kids.
April 9th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
What a beautiful letter. I hope she’ll read it when she’s older.
Happy Birthday to Tacy.
mamatulip’s last blog post..Memepalooza
April 9th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Happy Birthday Tacy! Great description of the age. We are definitely trying the same things at our house.
MamaMaven’s last blog post..I won! I won!
April 9th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Happy bday Miss G. You are one very lucky little chick to have a mama willing to let you be you.
Remember that when you’re 13, okay?
Mom101’s last blog post..Katie Couric: The Untold Story
April 9th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Happy Birthday Tacy! Damn, where did the time go, Julie?
And yeah, six is…well, honestly, I love the good and the not-so-good about it. But I do love the little guy he is becoming.
Builder Mama’s last blog post..More crap you never wanted to know
April 9th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
I loved this. Especially having just written a post on my own daughter’s birthday, which is tomorrow. It is bitter sweet, isn’t it? These years seem to pass too quickly.
Happy Birthday to your little Aries.
Zellmer’s last blog post..Two
April 9th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
Happy Birthday, Tacy!
I’m loving all of these April birthdays, and the beautiful posts that go with them! I hope her day is so very special and that you have a good one, too, MGM.
Hugs and birthday kisses.
GHD’s last blog post..Birthday v2.0: Part-ies
April 10th, 2008 at 7:01 am
This letter makes me all nostalgic. Six was a sweet, sweet time, A time of learning and of constant stimulation…social, intellectual, emotional. It goes by quickly. I know that sounds trite, but you know how true it is. Happy Birthday, Tacy.
AB’s last blog post..Unthinkable
April 10th, 2008 at 11:52 am
Tacy is a very amazing girl. And this was an amazing letter.
Hugs and kisses to you both!
Aimee Greeblemonkey’s last blog post..Mid-Day Date
April 10th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
you’re an awesome writer and an equally awesome mom!
i wish you, tacy and the family the best.
April 12th, 2008 at 4:46 am
Happy Birthday to Tacy!!
xoxoxo from all of us (especially her future friend Mimi!)
Nancy’s last blog post..Phone call with the hubby
April 13th, 2008 at 8:21 am
My son will be six and it feel just like this. Perfect.
Kyla’s last blog post..GREAT!