It’s not her mama who’s dressing her funny
When I was in high school, I began wearing clothes that offended my mother’s fashion sensibilities.
She has the figure and good taste to wear stylish and flattering clothes, and enough disposable income to fill her closet (and the guest room closet) with clothes and shoes from upscale department stores and boutiques. She always looks like a million dollars, even in her casual clothes.
In elementary school, she dressed me in dresses that she sewed herself, along with bare legs and saddle shoes. I was thrilled when I finally graduated to penny loafers and got my first pair of jeans in fifth grade. Even when I was in middle school, I still took my wardrobe direction from her.
Given my stunted fashion sense, it’s not surprising that in high school, I began shopping at thrift stores and wearing ancient men’s sportcoats that I’d bought for fifty cents apiece, pairing them with cutoff sweats and kung-fu shoes from the bin at Woolworth’s. More than once, she shook her head at such get-ups and plaintively asked, “Why do you want to look like THAT?”
I should have known that I would get my come-uppance in the form of a daughter who now refuses to let me dress her up pretty. At this point, I’d be satisfied if she merely dressed in clothes that were appropriate for the weather.
I buy her clothes in outfits. Outfits that she approves – either at the store or when I bring them home.
I fold her clothes and stack them in outfits. Those same outfits that she insisted she loved and would happily wear when I asked her, “Do you like this? Will you wear it?” before removing the tags.
And yet, she emerges from her room wearing the most unbelievable combinations. I’m certain she’s not color-blind, so either she enjoys seeing that look of horror on my face, or she wants to exert as much control over her world as a five year-old can.
Just yesterday, she wore a cornflower blue tee shirt with brown lettering on it, a plaid purple skirt, fuschia tights, and black ballet flats. I bit my tongue and said nothing.
Because insisting that she wear the outfits as I’ve planned them has not worked. She puts on the outfit for school, then comes home and starts rummaging through her drawers to create a new ensemble, and I end up with twice as much laundry.
But I did have to draw the line at wearing summer clothes in the middle of winter. Despite the rule that she may not select clothes from the storage drawers under her bed, she does it anyway, coming downstairs in a sundress – perhaps with a sweater over it, perhaps with a long-sleeved shirt under it – or a tanktop, a skirt, and her rubber rain boots.
So I took all of her summer clothes out of her room. I put some in a plastic tote under my bed, and I hung up the rest under a garment bag in my closet. They’ll come out in May when there’s (almost) no chance of any more snow.
I realize that we’re just starting the journey toward the teen years, when rebelling will entail much more than mismatched clothes. And I realize that in light of the outfits I wore as a teen, I deserve to squirm a bit when my own children dress themselves.
So I’ll count myself lucky that she hasn’t yet asked for a padded bra and thong, and I’ll hope that day never comes.
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Tacy won’t wear her cute outfits, and CJ won’t watch Barney. What’s next, an atheist president? Not likely!
March 21st, 2008 at 7:44 am
I’m lucky that my kids still let me dress them most days. Although my daughter has started telling me that kids laugh at her when she’s wearing certain shirts. I don’t know that it’s true though. I suspect that’s just her way of saying she doesn’t want to wear that shirt.
I think most people realize that the crazy outfits aren’t the mom’s doing though.
Heather’s last blog post..Just a quick note
March 21st, 2008 at 8:11 am
HA! 7 y.o. has a penchant for stripes. Lots of them at once.
I long ago gave up the clothing battle. Like you, my rule is weather appropriate. Half the time I just cringe. Her teacher says she looks like Punky Brewster.
My 3y.o. boy? He’s the one that HAS to match. His choice. He’s THIS close to dressing himself and Mamma can’t wait!
Reesie’s last blog post..On Track to Break the Record . . .
March 21st, 2008 at 8:16 am
My daughter wore her Tinkerbell Halloween costume over her clothes earlier this week when we walked her brother to kindergarten. We got a few looks, but like Heather said, most people realize that kids that look like that dress themselves.
Once my son was old enough to pick his own outfits and dress himself, I made sure to only buy solid colored pants and shirts. It’s boring, yes, but at least he looks normal when he leaves the house.
March 21st, 2008 at 8:47 am
LOL! She sounds like me. My mom said that I refused to let anyone dress me once I could do it myself. We lived on a farm, so no one really cared what I wore. Once I got older, I started dressing better, but had she hassled me about my clothes, I probably would have stuck with the atrocious combinations! Good luck!
Maria’s last blog post..TMJ
March 21st, 2008 at 11:06 am
My daughter has been the same way since age 2. I do the same as you. I’ve learned to let go (as long as it’s weather appropriate). And it does save me money. B/c I never splurge on any expensive clothing for her… b/c you know that would be one of the items she would refuse to wear.
the mama bird diaries’s last blog post..crafty girl
March 21st, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Things are pretty tame here so long as the elder gets to wear a dress (“Never a skirt, thank you very much, I said a dress!”) and the younger has fresh socks on for bed.
amanda’s last blog post..Honey, if you are reading this – STOP!
March 21st, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Thanks for hanging out over at my place today!
PunditMom’s last blog post..Mothers of Intention — What’s God Got to Do With It?
March 21st, 2008 at 8:18 pm
She won’t ASK for the thong … she’ll just buy it herself.
aaack.
I got over the crazy outfits, but agree it’s annoying as hell when darling, pre-approved clothes go unworn! Jo has a beautiful pink winter coat that Jeff’s mom bought, with Jo present. She NEVER wears it.
mayberry’s last blog post..A total tease
March 22nd, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Maybe she’ll outgrow it before the teen years? Since you’re being such a cool mom now and all.
And I loved your post on Punditmom.
Jerseygirl89’s last blog post..Our Family Just Keeps Growing
March 22nd, 2008 at 7:53 pm
It’s a sign of amazing creativity. You should be thankful!
And I’m not just saying that because Thalia makes me coordinates entire outfits around the legwarmers you made us.
Mom101’s last blog post..Cinderella, The Retelling. Or: Why I Should Never Write Children’s Books
March 23rd, 2008 at 11:29 am
I bet when she gets to middle school/high school, all the other girls will start copying her ensembles! Nathan (who is 9 now) is the same way with shirts-I had to keep his summer t-shirts out for him to layer over long sleeved ones.
Elizabeth’s last blog post..Hey, what time is it?