Fearlessness
When I was five, we moved into a new house that my parents had built. It was on one of the last two lots in the neighborhood, and the other remaining lot was next door to ours.
The far edge of our backyard was a steep hillside lined with a row of honeysuckle trees, and at the side of our driveway was a walnut tree. The still-vacant lot next to ours was covered mainly by tall grasses, with a small grove of tall trees on the far side.
I wasn’t an outdoorsy or athletic kid, but I loved playgrounds and monkey bars, and so I couldn’t resist climbing those trees. But I rarely climbed very high (for fear of falling), and I stayed out of the honeysuckle trees in the spring when the bees buzzed around their blooms (for fear of getting stung).
When I was twenty-one, I was faced with the confidence course at Air Force ROTC field training. The threatened return of my stress fractures kept me from attempting many of the obstacles, but my fear of falling kept me from completing most of the others. I remember crouching on top of a slanted “roof”, about ten feet off the ground, poised to jump across a four-foot gap to the other side of the roof. I contemplated that gap for several minutes, and as I climbed down without crossing the gap, I thought to myself, “Who cares if my flight hates me? I’m not going to risk breaking my ankle for these jerks.”
Even now, on my long bike rides, I rarely take risks. I’ll let myself fly down a hill, but only if I’ve done it several times before, and my hands never stray far from the brakes.
But my girls are risk-takers. They love to push themselves just to see how far they can go. And as both an overly cautious person by nature, and their mother and protector, I watch them with a mixture of fear and pride.
They ride their bikes and scooters, they climb to the tops of the highest slides, and they hang upside down from the monkey bars (and don’t pay a whit of attention to the fact that their underwear or pull-up is showing).
They race around the house, counting the laps they’ve completed. They fling themselves up, over, and around the furniture. They treat Kyle as if he’s their own personal jungle gym.
But it’s their fearlessness in their athletic pursuits that really awes me. Seeing Tacy poised on the diving board before plunging into twelve feet of water. Shaking my head in amusement as CJ climbs the ladder to go down the big water slide for the tenth time in a row. And, just last night, watching Tacy at her ice skating lesson, gliding and crouching and occasionally falling, with no fear at all.
Their enthusiasm and confidence never fails to impress me, especially given my own longstanding apprehensiveness where it comes to athletics. And although I still feel a twinge of anxiety as I watch them, I strive to keep my fear in check and let the pride be all that they see.
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February 29th, 2008 at 6:27 am
[...] Fearlessness [...]
February 29th, 2008 at 7:33 am
My sister was that kind of fearless – I was much more cautious. And she survived her childhood with nary a broken bone. I took a lesson from that and try not to cringe when Isaac flings himself around with wild abandon.
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February 29th, 2008 at 8:35 am
I wish I still had that enthusiasm and fearlessness of youth. Although there is something to be said for growing up and being more cautious. I guess I do have little ones to think of besides myself these days!
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February 29th, 2008 at 8:48 am
My son is “cautious” like me. He doesn’t want to look stupid and he has no interest in potential pain.
God he was an easy toddler.
My daughter – who I imagined would be frilly and delicate like her older brother – is a force to be reckoned with. Leaping and diving and screaming “Again! Again!” after something has just terrified her.
Good for you for keeping the nerves in check for your girls’ sake.
Miss Britt’s last blog post..The RAP Sheet Continues
February 29th, 2008 at 9:20 am
That is so amazing.
Fearlessness can be such a gift. B/c when we are able to put our fear aside, we can experience so much.
Once again, lessons to be learned from our children.
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February 29th, 2008 at 9:54 am
T is the cautious one but ohmylord, Sage is going to be flinging herself off bridges tethered to bungie cords by the time she’s seven. I fear for my heart.
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February 29th, 2008 at 10:39 am
My kids look fearless, although my older is actually cautious, just practices a lot until he can jump from the highest places. When I realized I was projecting my own fear of heights, I had to conciously take a step back and let them be free, and realize getting hurt is not the worst thing in the world.
February 29th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
I was fearless, but consequence oriented. This made me a very confused child.
I have one child who will tackle anything and one who hangs back. The other is somewhere in between and I think that has more to do with his absolute ease of every situation that he is just too relaxed to give a rip.
Either way – I’m kinda hoping that my kids are somewhat consequence oriented – ALTHOUGH it hasn’t reared its head yet, so um…maybe not?
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February 29th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
I think it’s great that you keep your fear and nervousness from showing. It’s so easy to project our own fears on our children. If their natures are fearless, that is wonderful and good for you to be proud of it!
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February 29th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
That is a sweet post.
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March 1st, 2008 at 8:32 am
That’s awesome. I have one of both. I was the big risk taker when I was young, and I have one that is terrified of most everything, (a stick is a snake I swear, anything a foot off the floor will surely fall, going fast is bad, etc.) and one who is dangerously brave, (jump off the top bunk at 18 months old, no problem, jump in the deep end of the pool with no floats, way cool!) I’m glad your girls are so brave, they’ll most likely grow up very balanced with your guidance to help them form bounderies.
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March 1st, 2008 at 1:22 pm
I was always a fearless kid – didn’t learn to be careful until I broke my ankle at 40. My kids – fearless too – but never quite as reckless as I was. That’s a good thing!
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March 1st, 2008 at 7:25 pm
I was a cautious kid too, and it thrills and terrifies me to watch my little daredevils. What a sweet post!
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March 9th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
I totally get this. My daughter is completely fearless in ways I’d always hoped to be but could never stomach.
I’m a full-on admirer of everything she does, because she does it with everything she’s got.
So amazing to see their strengths in action.
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