Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
Too tired and too busy to do more than ask questions, show pictures, and issue reminders…
——————————
What is your philosophy regarding disciplining other people’s children? How do you react when another child misbehaves toward your child – at a playdate at your house, at a playgroup, in a public playspace?
How do you handle it when other people’s children aren’t being destructive or hurtful, but merely annoying – at a playdate at your house, at a playgroup, in a public playspace?
——————————
Alison asked what Oliver’s nickname will be. I’m taking suggestions – leave them in the comments.
——————————
You warned me, and I warned him, apparently to no avail:
——————————
Don’t forget to watch the debate tonight – MSNBC at 9pm EST. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a Democrat or a Republican, because this is going to be great entertainment for everyone.
——————————
Book review posted at Do As I Say… – The Sky Isn’t Visible From Here, by the beautiful, vivacious, and talented survivor herself, Felicia Sullivan.
February 26th, 2008 at 6:00 am
Hee hee, pee pee pants… and why are you so tired? (HA, I make myself laugh).
I’m coming back about the discipline thing, it’s been something I’ve been dealing with of late.
motherbumper’s last blog post..Don’t trust the teens and the husband is always right
February 26th, 2008 at 6:32 am
I know it isn’t funny, but I can’t help but giggle at a pee-splattered Kyle.
As far as the discipline… Around these parts, it’s the “village” thought – especially in the neighborhood. When we first moved it, we were invited to let the kids know if they were doing something – as you put it – destructive and hurtful.
Annoying? I do my best to ‘let it go’ unless one of my kids tells me, then we work on a way to make it ‘better’ – if that’s possible. Otherwise, I tell them to try and ignore the behavior.
The sleep thing? It gets better! Before you know it O will be sleeping through the night and T will be able to get her own breakfast in the morning.
Gretchen’s last blog post..Odds and Ends
February 26th, 2008 at 6:35 am
Ha on Kyle. That’s a great pic.
And I’m going with “liver”
You know — like lover, but with an i.
Haaaaaa.
Deep Fried Yankee’s last blog post..Save My Pants!
February 26th, 2008 at 7:13 am
I’m loving the Kyle pee-pants.
Also, I’m curious as to how to discipline other people’s children, especially if you know the parents are out of sight and may or may not believe their angel bodyslammed your toddler.
kirida’s last blog post..West Seattle Blog is your new bicycle
February 26th, 2008 at 7:33 am
Dang DFY. I thought of Liver, too.
My dad would call him “Ollie.” But since his initials are OS, my husband I would call him “Ops” for operating system. But hubby is a computer geek, so we can’t help but be a bit cheeky like that. Or “Oz.” We really like Oz. Or Ozzie.
As far as the discipline thing goes… I would explain what our house or yard rules are and say that if they can’t follow them, they can’t play here. Merely annoying? I’ll try to come up with a new activity to distract them.
Out in public? I would remove my child from the situation, probably. I know it’s the wimp way out, but I hate confrontation. If I couldn’t take my child to a different area, away from the brat, I would probably go home unless I had met the parents and had a good relationship with them. If I knew the parents, I would ask the parents to help so that my kid could have a nice time at the public place, too.
Cheryl’s last blog post..Click Your Heels Three Times
February 26th, 2008 at 7:50 am
I vote for Ollie. He’s too cute. And Kyle is hilarious. It won’t be the last time, I am sure.
Regarding discipline – If it is potential harmful or hurtful (emotionally) to other children, I would say something like, “we do not do XYZ” or “please do not do XYZ.” However, it is a fine line between intervening and giving the signal that you will intervene and want another child or your own child to tattle. I made that mistake while we had one of N’s good friends over for a playdate (a child I know quite well) and it was difficult to tone that down over the next several playdates. It is also good for children to learn to work out things on their own. Another option would be to tell your own children that if they do not like what other children are saying or playing or feel uncomfortable, they should play somewhere else.
I would love to know the context. It would help to answer more directly.
February 26th, 2008 at 8:22 am
How do we know Kyle didn’t wet his pants and he’s just blaming Oliver?
As for Oliver’s nickname, I’m thinking along the lines of the Miss Mousie/Miss Goosie theme. Those are so cute, you have to come up with one more!
Usually when we have playdates, it’s with one other child and Mom usually stays, so I don’t have to worry about disciplining. But, if we’re at the park or some other public place and another child is acting like a butt, I pull my kids aside and talk to them about how the other child is behaving and we all agree that it’s “not nice.” I don’t like to discipline other people’s children, especially when the parents are oblivious to what their child is doing. So, instead, we remove ourselves from that area of the playground, etc.
February 26th, 2008 at 8:38 am
Have you tried a different brand of diapers? MJ would, without fail, have a giant wet spot in the very middle of his back with Pampers. Huggies worked like a charm.
Nicknames at our house are all derived from something the kids have said or done. MJ is Bones because when he was 2, he said everything backward (Walgreens was Greenwals, Dog Bone was Bone Dog). Bones is a short form of Bone Dog. AC is “V V” because her best little buddy could not say her name when he was little and he called her “V V”. His dad started calling her that and it stuck. Give him some time, something will develop.
I go over the few house rules we have when someone arrives (no throwing objects off the loft over looking the great room, no kids on the treadmill, no running up and down the curved stairs as those babies are narrow on one side) and then let the kids have at it. I redirect if I see something headed in the wrong direction (mostly with ds and his buddies).
I give my kids the words to work through situations as they come up. Obviously when they are little, you have to be the voice for them. Someone cuts in front of them to do the zip line? It’s ok to tell them to wait because it is your turn. Someone pushes them? Say, “I DON’T LIKE THAT!” (dd is famous for that one).
Merely annoying? Try my best to ignore them and tell my kids to do the same. It’s like the boy who tugged your hair in second grade, he’ll go away eventually if you just don’t react.
But you may not want to take my advice since I am the mom who snickered when she found out her ds “fought back” instead of rolling over when being picked on at school.
February 26th, 2008 at 9:09 am
That picture is hilarious!
Sonia’s last blog post..Dudes, This One’s For You!
February 26th, 2008 at 9:32 am
The discipline thing, I have no problem disciplining another person’s child if they are unavailable or unwilling to do it. (Especially if they are doing something to one of my kids.) If they don’t like it F*** ‘em.
That photo is priceless.
Heather’s last blog post..I’m open!
February 26th, 2008 at 9:40 am
I thought the goal was to get Kyle potty trained before you guys even thought about having kids…
Yeedle is an EXCELLENT nickname.
February 26th, 2008 at 11:13 am
OK, I almost peed myself over that picture. ha ha!
I think it is fine to discipline other kids when they are in my orbit and vice versa for other parents around my kids — if by discipline we mean firmly stating a rule, or removing a child from a potentially dangerous situation.
It bothers me though when other parents discipline their kids in my house, like saying “no running” or “no jumping on the couch” when actually I don’t care/have that rule. It feels very awkward.
Nickname: I like Ozzie. Or Puppy, if we want an animal. ‘Cause, you know, puppies are famous for peeing.
mayberry’s last blog post..Calling all you foodie types
February 26th, 2008 at 11:23 am
proving once and for all that there is really nothing funnier than pee and poop.
my friend’s husband always said that he and their son had “an understanding” re: the peeing on dad. this did not end up being true.
February 26th, 2008 at 11:42 am
I believe it takes a village.
And sometimes that means being the villager who leans in close and whispers very evenly,
“Don’t make me call your mother. If you want to play in my house, you’ll play by the rules.”
Miss Britt’s last blog post..The Rest Of The Centerfold Story
February 26th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
I love that photo…hilarious!
Well, my neighbor’s 7-year-old daughter constantly drives me insane because she does things that, in my opinion, are totally inappropriate for a child her age to do at someone else’s house. (i.e. running, screaming like a freaking banshee, taunting our dog…I almost wish our dog would bite her) I’ve found myself “politely” scolding her as in, “Please do not run in our house…someone will get hurt.” Also if we’re out in public and another child does something that could potentially hurt another child (like sand slinging or throwing toys) I will also say something firmly but politely. It drives me nuts when parents don’t adequately watch their own children at public play areas.
OK…off of my soap box. I just wrote a post about this yesterday.
February 26th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
We did indeed warn you. Boy babies are leaky babies. It’s just a fact.
As far as other kids, it entirely depends on the context. In my own house? Yes, I will say something along the lines of “we don’t do that here” if someone (or something, we have three cats) is going to get hurt.
Same thing in public, I actually just said something to a kid at swimming lessons the other day, because the child was running back and forth over the wet, slippery floor while her mother did her best to stop her (because she was half out of her bathing suit, and kind of hamstrung). But general jerkishness? I try to ignore it. Although lately my son has taken to (loudly) saying things like “why is that boy being bad?” and “why is that girl yelling?” when he sees kids misbehaving.
He hears my inner monologue and repeats whatever it says.
Hannah’s last blog post..pride goeth before a fall
February 26th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Great picture.
I think it’s because I used to be a teacher, but I’m quite comfortable disciplining other people’s children when it comes to safety issues or violence. I ignore the annoying, but that ability probably comes from being a teacher too.
Jerseygirl89’s last blog post..I’d Like To Thank The Academy. . . .
February 26th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Nothing like getting peed on to make you feel like a parent. LOL.
I’m currently struggling with this other kid issue myself. My best friend’s brother is going through a divorce so he is always around. My house, her house, doesn’t matter. He’s been bringing his ’son’ (not biologically or legally his child) to play with my kids because he’s around the same age.
The kid is a DEMON and I don’t want my kids to start picking up on his disrespectful attitude yet the dad, my friend, does nothing because he doesn’t want to push the kid away or be the BAD parent because he knows he doesn’t have a legal leg to stand on when it comes to custody issues.
Yet I don’t know if I should say something myself or just kick the kid in the arse….
Sigh. Life is complicated sometimes.
Redneck Mommy’s last blog post..Good Bloggers Gone Bad
February 26th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
On the discipline thing, if I’m the only parent around, I keep all the kids in line. If the other kids’ parents are around, that’s their job. Unless someone is physically harming someone.
February 26th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
It may not be very original, but I like the nickname Ollie.
As for parenting other kids: if out in public, and someone does something to my kid, I try to look for their parent first. If there’s no parent, I’ll step in and ask them to leave my daughter alone.
If the kid is at my house, I have no problem stepping in. My house, my rules. And I expect Cordy to respect the rules if she’s at someone else’s house, and they are free to tell her how she has to behave there.
Christina’s last blog post..A Premonition Of Teen Years To Come?
February 26th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
I put all misbehaving kids (whether they are mine or not) in a 30 minute time-out.
Ok, i don’t.
But sometimes I really wish I could.
Naughty, unsupervised children drive me mad.
the mama bird diaries’s last blog post..the beginning
February 27th, 2008 at 8:14 am
It’s all in the person/delivery- if someone wants to kindly discipline my little one-a gentle touch to the arm or an “I don’t think you want to do that” that’s fine. If it’s coming from my sister or good friend, they can say whatever they want- I know they have his best interest in mind, but a neighbor or an aquaintance? I don’t respond to that well.
How about Oslo? Rent Oliver Twist- there must be something catchy in there!
binkytown’s last blog post..Suffocating
February 27th, 2008 at 8:39 am
You keep freaking me out about the pee-pee lady. STOP IT. (Though? That pic? AWESOME.)
I’m basically a hanger-backer when it comes to disciplining. I might say, if a bully-kid snatches WB’s toy, ‘that was hers; please give it back,’ but mostly I focus on moderating her response – cuz she don’t take no shit – and make sure that she doesn’t respond with anger (i.e. ‘that was wrong that he took your toy [assuming it's not actually HER own toy], why don’t we ask for it back? [and/or] there’re lots more toys over there, NO DO NOT SMACK HIM.’ that kinda thing) Unless it was egregious thing, like the kid actually hits her, in which case I would not hesitate to kneel down and tell him that that WAS WRONG and that if he doesn’t watch out I’ll let her at him.
Her Bad Mother’s last blog post..Pass The Smelling Salts
February 27th, 2008 at 9:45 am
I’m sniffing as hard as I can, but I can’t smell the top of Oliver’s head through the computer, dammit. I would just melt, seeing Kyle snuggling that little baby
You know those changing pad covers, the ones that are quilted? Tell Kyle to keep one on his lap next time 
I try not to get too involved in playground politics, I find that quite often, I’m making a bigger deal of something than my kids are. Unless someone really hurts them, in which case I locate the parent and let them know what happened. At my house, we have a “friends are guests” policy, which means I encourage my kids to let their friends pick the game to play or whatever.
Nickname-hmmm. I’d have to hear the story of how you came up with “Goosie” and “Mousie” first
Elizabeth’s last blog post..(Not) Wordless Wednesday-Wedding Dress
February 27th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
That pic is funny.
I like Ollie, in part because of the Gossie and Gertie series of books. They’re awesome.
I don’t hesitate to step in and discipline someone else’s kids. As long as it’s done calmly and with respect, I don’t see a problem in it at all. I ignore annoying things and let the kids work it out, and I step in when it’s warranted, either due to danger or due to egregiously bad behavior. I, too, was a teacher, so I figure as long as I react the way I would want one of my kids’ teachers to react when they act up, I’m good, and if someone doesn’t like it, that’s just too bad. Frankly, I would hope that if my kids were being assholes behind my back someone would step in and call them on it, too, as long as it’s respectful.
FishyGirl’s last blog post..Oranges, Oranges, Oranges, and the Oddest Meme Ever
February 27th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Happy Birthday HPLK
February 27th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Funny picture.
I have spoken sharply to other children when they’ve pushed my buttons. It takes a village, right?
magpie’s last blog post..Cranky Cranky Cranky
February 27th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Elizabeth:
Goosie came from us calling her a “silly goose” which became “goose” or “goosie.” “Mousie” was an knee-jerk “we need a rhyming sobriquet for CJ!”. So there’s ironically some rhyme, but not reason to that choice. As for Oliver – Tacy suggested “Ducky” – which I thought was funny, but I’ve been using “Ollie” myself and it never occurred to me to use “Ozzie” – I really like that suggestion.
Oh, and once again, Happy Birthday Julie!!!
February 27th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
I didn’t read the other comments and I’ll try to keep it brief. In my family, I’ve been known as one that disciplined everyone’s kid and got away with. I got away with it because I was fair. I was respectful.
Fast forward to having my own kids and owning a daycare. I still discipline other people’s kids whether they are part of my family or not and regardless of whether the parent is there or not.
When parents come for drop-off and pick-up and they linger to chat, they don’t pay attention to their children. They will sign them out and retrieve them from their classrooms but then they don’t watch them. I have to step in and correct the children with mom standing there. Never, not one time has a parent even remotely acted offended.
So, with that said, it doesn’t matter who the kid is or where we are, if they need guidance I give it. In my opinion the best way to do this correcting is through humor…especially if the parents of the child are present.
For instance, let’s say a child is in the sandbox with your child and starts to toss sand into the air. The mother is close enough to hear and see but does nothing. After the first toss, I wait for mom to intervene. If she doesn’t and the kid does it again, I might say something like “You silly boy, we don’t throw sand in the air, it will get in your eyes.” Notice I didn’t say it would get in my child’s eyes or in “someone’s eyes” because kids don’t care about your child or someone, they care about themselves. And, if the possibility is there for them to get sand in their own eyes, they respond much easier. And, of course, the humor by calling him a silly boy breaks some of the tension with the parent.
Ok, rage over..this is one of the things I try to teach my teachers because often times they will stand back and let children misbehave when their parents or even other strange adults, are around.
I expect people to make my kids mind. I”m one of those people who would tell a kid in a store to sit down in a buggy. For example, say mom has turned to get something off of a shelf or is talking and the kid starts trying to stand up. I would definitely say something like, “Look at you, you silly monkey, you better sit down or you will fall.” By that time, mom has turned her attention to see who is talking to their child.
And, I would want someone to do that for me if I became distracted and my child did this. My assistant director and I agree in this department and right now we are the only 2 people in my entire center that ca handle my 4’s and 5’s for an extended period of time. The other teachers simply won’t keep the kids in line and they get frustrated. Even they (my teachers) don’t understand that it is ok to correct other people’s children as long as you do it with tact and respect.
Ok, stepping down again
February 28th, 2008 at 9:15 am
That picture made me laugh out loud. It’s funny because it didn’t happen to me.
Don Mills Diva’s last blog post..Pick the Diva dry
February 28th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
I like Ollie as a nickname.
RubiaLala’s last blog post..Valentine’s Day
February 28th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Pee or no pee, that picture is just precious. I look at my son and it’s hard to believe he was ever that itty bitty! And peeing all over the darn place!