Just get one of those pepperoni sticks out. I just want to hold it.
Updated below with happy ending:
Do you ever buy anything from the people who come to your door?
One of the advantages of living in a doorman building for so long was that solicitors were kept at bay. Sure, we’d occasionally find a Chinese take-out menu slipped under our door, but that was the extent of it. In fact, our doorbell rarely rang without us knowing beforehand exactly who was ringing it.
Now, anyone can just walk right up and ring, and I have no idea who or what I might find on the other side.
I bought a magazine subscription from a guy who reminded me of the door-to-door salesman in Office Space – the one who pretended to be a recovering crack addict, but was really a software engineer living in a homeless shelter.
I bought a box of popcorn from a Cub Scout, even though I take exception to the BSA’s policy regarding homosexuals. I didn’t think that little guy – or his dad – needed a lecture from me, and besides, the girls like popcorn.
I even bought a candle from a Little League baseball player, even though we’ve sworn off burning candles after scrubbing three years worth of smoke residue from the bathroom ceiling.
But none of my impulse/guilt buys can hold a candle (heh) to Kyle’s purchase yesterday.
Do you see that? There is NO ROOM for ice cream in my freezer.
I’m not kidding about the ice cream. In order to make room for all of that meat, Kyle scooped out the last of a half-gallon of ice cream into a dish.
Moreover, there’s no room for frozen vegetables. Frozen pizzas. Boxes and boxes of frozen mini quiches. Three weeks from now, when I’m at home with a newborn, I guess I will just have to fire up the grill and cook myself a steak.
And as far as dessert goes, I guess I will just have to switch to chocolate mousse for a while.
——————————
The man may have a Master’s degree in Logistics, but there’s a reason why I pack the suitcases around here. I have managed to find space for two bags of lima beans, three bags of broccoli, one bag of spinach, two boxes of mini quiches, and – most importantly – two half-gallons of ice cream.
But I bought more whipping cream and semi-sweet chips anyway. I can have my ice cream, and my chocolate mousse too, right?
January 18th, 2008 at 6:26 am
He bought meat from someone at your door?
WOW. That is one dedicated door to door salesperson.
January 18th, 2008 at 6:55 am
Dayum that is a LOT of meat! This might be the time to invest in an indoor grill, like a George Foreman.
One of the casualties of working from home a lot means I also get hit up for Girl Scout cookies (not really complaining about that sales pitch) and wrapping paper, etc. Occasionally I will let our dogs upstairs and go nuts and bark and just not answer the door and hope the scary canines deter them! Kind of white trash, but it works, especially when it’s some home improvement salesperson wanting us to build a sunroom.
January 18th, 2008 at 7:30 am
Door to door meat salesman?
Where on earth do you live?
If salesmen came to the door offering to sell meat, my hubby would do the same thing.
Enjoy your time hunched over the barbeque.
January 18th, 2008 at 8:06 am
What a timely post. For the first time ever just last night I bought a case of flash frozen Chilean Sea Bass and a case of flash frozen jumbo sea scallops from the Bolton Foods guy. They better be good ($230 worth!)
January 18th, 2008 at 8:40 am
Time to invest in a chest freezer. You NEED room for ice cream!
January 18th, 2008 at 8:44 am
They’re some nice lookin’ steaks, though.
MMMM, steaaaak, medium rare-closer to the “rare”, little bit of A1 for dipping, a big ol’ baked sweet potato with extra butter and a huge pile of steamed brocolli. It’s 10:44 am here in PA, & I’m ready for dinner.
January 18th, 2008 at 9:40 am
As someone who has purchased meat from a door-to-door salesman, I can vouch for how much freezer space that stuff requires. Dear God…I felt like such a fool for doing it.
January 18th, 2008 at 9:43 am
“I guess I will just have to fire up the grill and cook myself a steak.”
you say this like it’s a bad thing.
you could always ship some meat my way. after all, i’ve got a huge-ass freezer, compliments of the same crazy MIL who thought we needed a $400 blender.
January 18th, 2008 at 10:28 am
Holy moley, that’s a lot of meat. It looks like you will need another fridge/freezer. I could not have made it through my pregnancy without large doses of ice cream, especially at the end. What WAS he thinking?
And I’m sure with a newborn you will have plenty of time marinate and grill all that meat. Actually, now you’ve made me hungry for a steak…
January 18th, 2008 at 11:06 am
wait! what? who sells meat door-to-door?
January 18th, 2008 at 11:20 am
Fire up the grill! I am on my way down!
January 18th, 2008 at 11:38 am
A door to door salesman selling meat.
That just sounds dirty.
LOL. But I feel your pain. My husband recently purchased a an entire COW (minus skin, bones and intestines..wink, wink.)
Now every time I open the freezer, packages of hamburger and steaks topple out onto my feet.
And did I mention, I prefer chicken? Ya, my husband, he sure is cute….
January 18th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
People sell meat door-to-door?
Where do you live again? I am so moving.
January 18th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
I buy food from our door to door guy. He drives around in a big yellow freezer truck and he sells these things that are like cheese-filled sausages with bagel bread wrapped around them. I will kill pandas for these things. Even if I don’t have to.
January 18th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Jenny’s talking about the Schwan’s guy, When Chris was traveling on business for a year and a half, I bought food every week from Schwan’s, it kept the boys and I fed! But I bet the meat came from Omaha Steaks or something like that. They come to our door about once a month.
I’m sure when you are up at 2:30 nursing the baby, you’ll have no problem cooking a frozen hamburger patty for a snack. Sheesh, men!
January 18th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Meat peddlers at the door? Woah. And OMG, what the hell was he thinking taking away precious PRECIOUS ice-cream real estate? That’s a crime.
January 18th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
I’m going to say…
WHO goes door to door selling SIDES OF BEEF?
That there, my friend, is a LOT of meat.
January 18th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
I’ve always wanted to buy a half a cow or something like that, but not til we have a second freezer! Must have room for ice cream!
January 19th, 2008 at 7:07 am
Graham would be totally jealous, he’d have a side of beef in the freezer in a heartbeat if someone came to our door offering such. Men. They love their meat.
January 19th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Think he just wanted someone to open your fridge and say “That’s some impressive meat, Kyle”?
January 19th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Good gracious! What all have you got in there? Looks like you’d better cook up some MEAT!
January 20th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Ok, how about those kids (that look about 25) who sell a bag of M&Ms for $5 to supposedly raise money for new uniforms for their JV basketball team? Are they for real? I am such a sucker… right?
Men do love their meat.
January 20th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Just curious…any sausage?
January 21st, 2008 at 7:21 pm
All good things start with meat.
And this is seriously the best blog headline I’ve read in like forever.
January 21st, 2008 at 7:38 pm
Time for a new and larger freezer.
You know, for the ice cream.
January 30th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
My husband also does not know how to load the freezer. Or pack a suitcase. or the car. or follow driving directions. or assemble anything without wanting to throw it accross the room. Man, I could go on forever!