Call me trashy, but don’t call me late to dessert
Growing up, my mother made desserts from scratch. I don’t think a tub of Cool Whip ever entered our refrigerator. She whipped real cream and served it unsweetened. Pie crusts never ever came from a box, let alone an aluminum pie tin. Meanwhile, my immature palate preferred piling spoonful after spoonful of fluffy Cool Whip on top of a slice of pie made with canned filling on ready-made crust.
Sadly, my palate apparently hasn’t matured much over the years.
This pregnancy has driven me to make desserts. And it seems that with each new dessert I try, I sink further into the world of white trash cooking. I started at the pinnacle of baking with this blueberry peach pie – all from scratch, even the crust:
Then I moved on to Chocolate Toffee Trifle and began my descent. The cake is Betty Crocker SuperMoist – strike one. At least the whipped cream is actual whipped cream.
Then I abandoned Food Network in favor of the Wal-Mart coupon circular (oh, the horror!). This Banana Split Pie was made using a prepared pie crust in its own aluminum tin – strike one. It also contains nearly an entire tub of Cool Whip – strike two. And it’s possible that the ice cream may have been the store brand.
But I think my latest creation might be the epitome of white trash desserts – Banana Cream Pie with Pretzel Crust. Although the recipe came from Food Network, it was from an outside contributor, not one of the chefs. I made the crust myself, but the rest of it is pure white trash. Not only does it contain instant vanilla pudding – neon yellow and completely unnatural – but there’s an entire tub of Cool Whip in there too.
The worst part? I don’t even have a picture because we ate it so quickly. It may have been trashy, but damn it tasted good.
I’ll redeem myself at Thanksgiving when I make Izzy’s pumpkin chocolate cheesecake again this year.
October 29th, 2007 at 5:36 am
Hey! I wrote about cooking a dessert today too! Mine is about how to make caramel apples using only saltines and sweet n low.
We are so (not even close to being) related.
October 29th, 2007 at 7:00 am
Oh honey. You’re not white trash. You’re just an atheist living in the wrong area of the country. Any of those would fit right in at any church social here in SC!
October 29th, 2007 at 7:20 am
My palate has matured quite a bit in recent years but I will NEVER give up Cool Whip!
Best summer dessert ever: 1 tub cool whip. 2 tubs yogurt. Mix. Dump into (storebought) graham cracker crust. Freeze.
My grandmother used to make it all the time and she played it up like it was a big special treat.
October 29th, 2007 at 8:04 am
Dessert is NEVER trashy. If it tastes good and you want it to be dessert, it’s heaven. Period.
October 29th, 2007 at 8:45 am
Is it wrong of me to want pie now, before ten in the morning?
Yum. Pie. Whipped Cream. Ice cream.
I’m never gonna fit into a bikini at this rate….
October 29th, 2007 at 9:27 am
And those all look delightfully veggie puree free.
October 29th, 2007 at 9:50 am
Yum!
Did you watch “Word World” during the review cycle? There is one character that is always baking pies, and after a bedtime episode with our toddler, I sent my poor husband out to get me a pie. I really should be baking like you!
October 29th, 2007 at 9:53 am
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
That just made me laugh out loud you cute little preggo you.
October 29th, 2007 at 10:58 am
Even my grandmother who made pie crust from scratch and canned everything that grows from the ground used cool whip or even scarier dream whip (powdered stuff you put milk in). We all have our dirty little secrets, they call it semi-homemade and she gets to be on TV!
October 29th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
paula deen was making desserts today. i think i now understand “multiple orgasms.” there was a chocolate truffle pie and some kind of peanut butter cookie candy, each of which made me moist. but i had to go back to work before she got to the “chocolate chip root beer floats.”
October 29th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
I am the queen of redneck desserts… now I want Izzy’s cheesecake – damn and I just lost those pesky five – I’m f**ked.
October 29th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
Can’t type. Through drool.
(Bossy is reading the new Kingsolver Memoir about growing food and making things from scratch – Bossy is now inspired to make her own pies and cheese. Starting tomorrow after she finishes this Milky Way.)
October 29th, 2007 at 2:43 pm
The sight of those pies almost make me hungry. When I can finally get near an oven again I’ll be making my white trash specialties too. And thinking of you.
October 29th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
amateur… velveeta peanut butter fudge. Yes, the main ingredient is velveeta. It’s always a favorite (until I tell the main ingredient) at the holiday cookie excahnge. Or, my favorite to take to parties: peanut butter pie (ingredients: a tub of cool whip, a 8oz thing of cream cheese, 1C pb and 1C confectioner’s sugar).
October 29th, 2007 at 9:05 pm
Life is so unfair. We do not have cool whip in Australia.
October 30th, 2007 at 9:30 am
The Lady Flabina rears her head…
October 31st, 2007 at 1:25 pm
As long as you’re not making that nasty “Dirt” dessert…
You know the one with the crumbled up chocolate cake, instant pudding, cool whip and gummy worms.
Or worse, the cat box cake with the tootsie rolls that look like little cat turds.
THAT’S trashy.
November 2nd, 2007 at 2:27 am
They all look good to me, dude.
Artful, that last one.
With the cherries and all.
(P.S. I always crave Cool Whip at Thanksgiving..wtf?)
November 2nd, 2007 at 4:38 am
Oooo, you gotta get the book “retro breakfast”. If you like white trash cookin. I do theraputic baking too for some reason…maybe my west virginian great grandmother has something to do w/it.
November 6th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
This could only be the post of a pregnant woman. Also, that last one looks pretty darn good.