She did it her way
Last week, CJ was evaluated to determine whether she would continue to qualify for early intervention services once she turns three.
The appointment was with the same speech-language pathologist and occupational therapist who performed her initial evaluation back in June. The therapist who comes to our house each week was also present.
At our weekly therapy session the week before the evaluation, the therapist mentioned that it was possible that CJ might not qualify for continued services. That she might be judged a percentile or two over the threshold, and therefore, services would be cut off after her third birthday.
But at the evaluation, CJ behaved much as she had during the initial evaluation. She was cheerful and funny and affectionate – but she did as she pleased, which did not include identifying pictures in books or allowing the SLP or OT to lead her in play. She knew what interested her, and it didn’t necessarily coincide with providing the desired information or displaying the desired knowledge.
The SLP recommended continued services.
She also gave me a form to be completed by CJ’s pre-school teachers, with a couple dozen questions about her language and behavior at school. I brought her to school after the evaluation and left the form with the director.
When I came back to pick her up, I retrieved the form, which had been filled out not by one of her teachers, but by a more senior staff member. I only glanced at it, but I noticed a few questions that had been marked “Not At All” when I knew that she actually did do the action/did know the concept in question.
I took the form back to the director and requested that it be given to another teacher – one who had worked very closely with CJ for several months before being moved into another room – the next day. The director agreed.
I went home feeling disappointed, but I couldn’t articulate why. I knew she still had a lot of work ahead of her in order to catch up with her peers – not academically per se, but basic group dynamics – particularly as she moves into the three year-old room at pre-school. I would rather that she receive extra help – sooner rather than later, more rather than less – than be left to flounder upon turning three. And yet, I felt as if unfair judgment had been exacted, even though rationally, I knew that wasn’t the case.
On Saturday, I received a call from that teacher, who told me that she’d reviewed the form and had made several changes. She added, “Mouse does many of these things…when MOUSE wants to do them.”
After we hung up, I realized why I’d been feeling disappointed. It’s not that she CAN’T; it’s that she WON’T. Not on someone else’s terms. Not when it doesn’t fit her agenda. She CAN and she WILL, when SHE wants to.
That is what I felt as if the SLP and OT, along with some of her teachers at pre-school, didn’t see. Instead, I felt as if they concluded that her refusal to perform on command is indicative of her abilities, when it clearly isn’t.
Granted, in the course of a 90-minute evaluation, they’ve got to take what they can get and make judgment calls accordingly. They documented what they saw, which was only what CJ was willing to do in that short span of time.
And pre-school teachers, particularly those who aren’t necessarily devoted to childcare as a career, don’t always closely observe such specifics. Their top priority is to keep everyone safe, fed, changed, and as happy as possible. Especially in the two year-old room, where chaos reigns supreme.
Even so, it’s hard to see judgment of your child’s knowledge and abilities documented in black and white when that judgment is based on a brief glimpse in an unfamiliar environment. She does, she knows, she IS so much more than what they see.
October 14th, 2007 at 7:10 pm
Yes – this is one of those rare situations in which I can actually say “I know how you feel.” I’ve been through this so many times with the Cat – Most of the early assessments of his abilities and behavior were shaped because of the assumption that if he didn’t do something on cue that he *couldn’t* do it. But of course he could!
Those percentages for qualification are bull, too. Each child is so varied in his or her ability – strong in some areas and weak in others, and still end up “average” when the scores are added up, even though that child may be “twice exceptional:” needing gifted education in some subjects and a little extra help in others.
Best of luck with your bright, stubborn Mousie!
October 14th, 2007 at 8:04 pm
Kari’s comment caught my eye, we had a similar situation with my son..His expressive language was way below average, but his receptive language was so high he would have tested out of services. Luckily they had a second expressive language test they allowed for in those situations, and so he is still in speech and probably will be for a couple more years.
MGM, good for her I say. What we call stubbornness now will be considered perseverance and leadership qualities in her future!
October 14th, 2007 at 8:42 pm
I’ve encountered so many of those situations as well, be it trying to convince someone that, YES, your child really CAN go potty, CAN count to ten, DOES know how old she is… But none of it in a testing situation. I can imagine the frustration.
October 14th, 2007 at 11:09 pm
Hi there,
I just found your blog, but I recognize your pain/frustration. It is hard having a child who is a little bit different. But I keep telling myself that it will get better. And you know, it is harder for you than it is for her.
Also, stating the obvious here, unless you wanted services to be cut off, maybe it was a good thing that she decided not to ‘behave’ during the assessment?
- Heidi
October 15th, 2007 at 5:52 am
Rosey went through ECD for quite awhile – I loved her worker and couldn’t stand the speech therapist, who only saw her three times and couldn’t (I felt) break through to her, at least not enough to clearly work with her…
R’s stubborn too. But I’m trying very hard to raise a strong, independant young woman, so stubbornness? Pro’lly a good sign!
October 15th, 2007 at 7:13 am
All I can say is she sounds a lot like me. I’m glad I don’t have an SLP and OT to evaluate me; they’d cringe at the task.
You’re a sweet, observant, dedicated, fiery, fabulous momma. She is so blessed.
October 15th, 2007 at 7:34 am
This is true of all teachers…we don’t see everything the parent does so it’s hard to fill out those types of forms. Whenever I do, I try to keep in mind that THIS is somebody’s baby and if it were mine, I’d want the teacher to put 100% into filling out that questionnaire.
October 15th, 2007 at 8:17 am
Fascinating, that she can, but won’t. I think I’m that way a lot. And I’m a grown-up (sort of).
Good luck to her, and you.
October 15th, 2007 at 8:48 am
Ah but you see…if she did do it on ‘command’ you wouldn’t get the continued funding!!! As a Special Ed teacher I have filled in forms with parents on many occasions where we have fudged the judgements to ensure the progress continues. Well, maybe not fudged, maybe… ‘reported as best suits our purposes’
But I usually talk to the parents about it so that they know that we know that X is actually capable of more than they choose to demonstrate…. Its a crap business really. Good luck with it all.
October 15th, 2007 at 9:07 am
Evaluations are a double sword. You want your child do to well, because we of course don’t want them to fail. But if they do well, they won’t qualify. It is never easy seeing weaknesses, but even more so when you know darn well that the child CAN do the task. It seems that’s her area of weakness, doing what others want her to do when they say so. It does seem like she’s learning concepts, which is something to be proud of. Half the battle is done
October 15th, 2007 at 9:29 am
My younger child is like this – takes the world, and direction, on his own terms. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a defense mechanism on his part.
The results of the Kindergarten screening were summed up to me – “he passed, but just barely.” After working with him a month and a half, his K teacher says she doesn’t think the screening is an accurate reflection of his abilities. Most of this is language-related, but a great deal of it is stubborness.
October 15th, 2007 at 10:27 am
What OMSH said. It’s frustrating for you but CJ’s so lucky to have you in her corner.
October 15th, 2007 at 11:47 am
Oh, do I ever get this post, having 2 out of 3 that refused to do “stupid kid tricks” on demand.
October 15th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
You nailed it with the last paragraph – abilities are way more than a checklist and she IS so much more. Now that’s because of her momma for sure
October 15th, 2007 at 1:20 pm
Boy, does this sound familiar. Rosie and Mousie are like two peas from the same pod.
And you know, I feel the same way — I’m OK with Rosie needing the early intervention services, but it bugs me that she’s judged by providers and others BECAUSE she needs the services. She is so much more than just a kid with a speech delay. She’s a smart, personable, snuggly 3 year old. As is CJ.
October 15th, 2007 at 1:47 pm
You share the concerns of many parents of kids requiring “special” (I use that loosely) services that I’ve encountered. It’s SO frustrating when you see them do amazing things at home and then twiddle their thumbs in front of the evaluator.
But you’re her biggest advocate and she’s lucky to have you in her corner.
October 16th, 2007 at 11:19 am
Any SLP, OT, or teacher who’s worth their salt realizes there is more to a child than what can be captured in a 90 minute eval or on a checklist. Unfortunately do to bureacracy and time restraints, this snapshot of behavior is all they have to go by. Your daughter is lucky to have you as an advocate and a voice to remind others that there is a lot more to her than what can be learned in an evaluation.
October 16th, 2007 at 7:06 pm
It must be so frustrating in so many ways. You know what she can do and what her potential is. And you know she’s going to get there eventually.
October 17th, 2007 at 5:43 pm
Cordy’s evaluation was much the same. I know she can do so many of the things they wanted her to do, but she will never perform on command. On her evaluation report, they even commented on the fact that while she wouldn’t perform the tasks they asked, she would then do the same tasks later when not asked.
Mouse is a smart kid who refuses to conform – I think she and Cordy would get along well!