I may not be a feminist, but I do get a kick out of antagonizing irrational men
And irrational women. Let’s not leave them out of it.
My wonderful husband, who understands that the primary function of breasts is to feed babies – not to titillate (heh) men, spent a good deal of Saturday afternoon and evening creating this montage for the League of Maternal Justice:
[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=8eSdQQpJh7U[/youtube]
While there are many supportive comments, naturally there are a few who can’t quite get it out of their heads that breasts are more than playthings.
I have to wonder about these people in general, especially the men. Tell me again, why are you staring? If you see me feeding my baby (or preparing to), and you’re afraid you might catch a glimpse, then perhaps you ought to look away. In fact, I’d really prefer that you did. I don’t care for strange men checking out my breasts under any circumstances.
In other words, mind your own business. Don’t worry so much about what other people around you might be doing, especially when it doesn’t directly affect you. When my baby comes over and starts to unbutton your shirt, then you can complain. Until then, step off.
Women who are breastfeeding strive to be discreet. Some of us are naturally good at maneuvering baby, breast, and clothing. Some of us practice in front of the mirror at home to make sure we’re keeping ourselves covered as best we can. And as any mother who has nursed will attest, discretion is often dependent on the cooperation of the baby.
It really puzzles me that women’s nipples are so taboo. Men go shirtless and expose their own nipples, which really don’t look any different than women’s nipples. Some men have bigger breasts than many women, and yet there’s no public outcry against their bare chests. Granted, I’ve turned away from viewing man-boobs on more than one occasion – but that’s the point: I turned away.
I’ve yet to see a breastfeeding mother remove her shirt entirely, at least in public. But men don’t even bare their chests for functional reasons. They’re sweaty, or they want to get some sun, or they’re playing a game of Shirts vs. Skins.
I’ll be breastfeeding again in another few months, and I’m going to take my own advice about minding my own business. I’m not going to worry about who might be watching or what they might be thinking or whether my baby might pop off my breast at any moment.
I’m going to feed my baby. Because that’s what it’s all about.
October 8th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
[...] My favorite quote of the day: When my baby comes over and starts to unbutton your shirt, then you can complain. Until then, step o… [...]
October 8th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
I love it – and have already listed this “When my baby comes over and starts to unbutton your shirt, then you can complain. Until then, step off.” as my favorite quote of the day.
October 8th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
I love this. Love it. And scratching my head…you’re not a feminist?
October 8th, 2007 at 2:31 pm
This is perfect. I am now very very sad that I have no pictures of me breastfeeding any of my children. It never crossed my mind to take a picture.
October 8th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
Amen!
October 8th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
So perfect! Thanks for sharing.
(I was also able to nurse while walking around wally world without aide of a sling and not expose myself.)
We all do what we feel is right for ourselves and our children. It’s noo nes business but our own.
October 8th, 2007 at 5:07 pm
I can’t tell you how much I love this. I’m still pissed off about Applebees and Bill Maher and friggin Facebook, this is such a great antidote!
October 8th, 2007 at 6:27 pm
LOVE the video! It’s going up on my site tomorrow!
October 8th, 2007 at 6:43 pm
I like your perspective on this. I bf’d both my kids, but rarely in public. Not b/c of what other people thought but b/c I felt uncomfortable. I ask myself now, why? I read this and think: Not this time. I will feed my baby as I need to and not be concerned about anything else.
October 8th, 2007 at 7:27 pm
It is amazing to me that we, in this day and time, are still fighting to justify hauling out the boobies to do the feeding.
incredible.
October 8th, 2007 at 7:39 pm
well done! and, I have to ask, what part of this is not feminist?
October 8th, 2007 at 7:49 pm
*applause*
I have never understood people who complain. As long as their neck is not in a brace, my understanding is they’re perfectly capable of turning their head away.
October 8th, 2007 at 7:57 pm
Wonderful montage. There’s just nothing more beautiful -
October 9th, 2007 at 6:38 am
That Kyle. He’s a keeper.
October 9th, 2007 at 7:11 am
Wow. You sure got a lot of photos contributed! That’s great.
October 9th, 2007 at 7:13 am
Kyle did an incredible job. I cried when I watched it yesterday.
And as a mom who is currently breastfeeding, I agree wholeheartedly.
October 9th, 2007 at 10:01 am
I am a nonconfrontational weakling, but if anyone would have tried to pick a fight with me while I was publicly breastfeeding either of my kids, I am quite sure I would have bared some teeth along with the skin they were allegedly complaining about. Love the montage!
October 9th, 2007 at 10:40 am
what a great post! I also have seen way too many man-boobs. they should be the ones covering up!!!
October 9th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
I just can’t wrap my brain around why bfing is such a hot button issue for some. It’s just not a big deal. Like you said, bfing women are trying to show off their goods.
Great video.
October 9th, 2007 at 1:38 pm
I love this! And may I just add that when I can’t tear my eyes away from watching you (a general you) feed your baby, I’m not trying to be a voyeur. I just really miss feeling that special closeness with my baby and am enjoying watching you enjoy the same closeness.
October 9th, 2007 at 8:31 pm
And? The arguments that some pinheads have used comparing a breastfeeding woman to someone who walks into a bank/restaurant/store completely naked just chaps my ass.
October 9th, 2007 at 9:40 pm
Great post! I’ve nursed both my kids in public, and have another onthe way. I do still feel self-concious, but my baby’s hunger comes first. I also feel that ‘NIP’ encourages other moms to do so, as well as teaches a new generation exactly what breasts are REALLY for!
October 10th, 2007 at 3:08 am
I love the slideshow, i will feed my children when and where i want and dont care
October 10th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
at the preschool where i teach, when the kids are tattling or getting involved in something another kid’s trying to do, we always say, “where is your business?” it works really well, because the kids really understand that they have their “business” to focus on – whether that’s reading a book, drawing a picture, whatever – and that the other kids’ “business” isn’t theirs to worry about. seriously, if i’m ever breastfeeding and someone makes a fuss about it, i’m just going to say, “where’s your business? you worry about your business, and i’ll worry about mine.”
i’m with you all in spirit, even if i’m not a mama yet.
October 11th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
Right On. I love the montage.
October 16th, 2007 at 3:50 pm
Just getting caught up at OMSH and found her link to this. Wish I had seen it the day you posted (my 42nd birthday) as it would have been a nice little gift to myself. Your words & your hubby’s slide show are fab!!!
I have a 5mo that I’m nursing now and a 2yo that I nursed until he self-weaned at about 18 months. I had no idea the s***storm I was stepping into when I first nursed him in public, didn’t know about any kind of controversies, just knew that my poor little babe that had heart defects and Down syndrome needed every leg up I can give him. What I got was guys coming out of the kitchens at restaurants to peek at us. I just thought they were sad dorks. Never was asked to leave or cover up at any time. Which is good because as mama bears go I’m a just-woke-from-hibernation-and-you-look-tasty grizzly.
Fun reading!
October 17th, 2007 at 1:19 am
I agree 100%. Gorgeous montage.
I’d daresay you’re a feminist but didn’t know it. How else can you fight for a woman’s basic right to feed her baby and not be one?