Uncharted territory
When I began subbing at the girls’ day care, I hadn’t changed a baby boy’s diaper in more than twenty years.
I rarely babysat for boys – frankly, I avoided babysitting for babies in general – and I cared for one diaper-clad boy (who cried incessantly) and his sullen big brother only twice. We didn’t exactly bond.
Once I began to get regular gigs as a harpist, I became much more selective when accepting babysitting offers (must be potty-trained and old enough to watch MTV), and by the time I was a sophomore, I stopped babysitting entirely (except for Herman Anne). I loved ma cousine, but I’d had it with the rest of them.
In 1996, my brother and his wife had a little boy. He was – still is, I expect – darling, but I only held and bounced him through a couple of dinners. I’ve seen him several times over the years, and while I have great fondness for him, we didn’t exactly bond either.
When I became pregnant with Tacy, I honestly didn’t care either way what sex my baby might be. But I really couldn’t imagine having a boy. As worried as I was about every last logistical and emotional aspect of having a baby, when the ultrasound tech told us she was a girl, I felt comfortable with that tidbit of knowledge at least. A girl was a known quantity for me.
And when I became pregnant with CJ, again I didn’t care either way what sex my baby might be. I didn’t have a deep-seated desire to have one of each, and I wasn’t at all disappointed when the ultrasound tech told us she was a girl too. I was comfortable.
Now that I’m having a boy, I’m excited in a way that I didn’t feel during my pregnancy with CJ. While I anticipated her arrival with as much joy as with Tacy, I was much less uncertain. I felt confident in that “been-there-done-that” sort of way.(She certainly knocked me off my high horse, didn’t she?)
I’m back to feeling excitedly uncertain, much as I did with Tacy.
I know I will love this baby; I’ve gotten past that “how can I love another baby as much as the one I already have?” question already. He’s most certainly wanted, and while I dread the inevitable sleep deprivation, I know I will see the joy in those early weeks.
But mothering a little boy is new to me. I’ve cared for many little boys in my time as a day care sub, I’ve hugged and snuggled the sons of my friends, but I’ve never formed a bond with a little boy other than my own brother.
It’s one more thing to look forward to.
October 1st, 2007 at 6:13 am
Oh Julie. There is something so special about having a boy. (Girls too, obviously.) I just don’t know quite how to say it…
October 1st, 2007 at 6:32 am
A boy? Yay!!!
I always wanted two girls but let me tell you…little boys, while very different than girls, are so sweet and affectionate and they looooooove their mamas something fierce. I never thought I’d love having a boy as much as I do.
October 1st, 2007 at 6:37 am
I know that it’s so cliche, but I agree completely. There’s just something between a momma and her baby boy that is… different. Not better. But different. I didn’t really believe it until my daughter came, and I had a basis for comparison.
October 1st, 2007 at 7:16 am
I am a mother to two boys. It is like nothing else. Boys need their mamas. It is a dirty, noisy job, but one like no other. The bond between boys and their mommys is like the bond between girls and their daddy’s. And it is sweet.
October 1st, 2007 at 7:21 am
My first two were girls – now 10 and 7. My baby (4) is a boy.
I wish I could explain, but there is just something about a boy. There is this mother/son thing I can’t put my finger on – can’t explain.
He needs me differently than the girls. He loves on me differently than the girls. He is this amazing bundle of absolute surprise and I cannot wait to hear of how your new baby is going to deeply touch your heart and erase all concern in nearly an instant.
October 1st, 2007 at 7:45 am
I never had either, before I had my first son. I had the same thoughts before my ultrasound with him and was actually pretty stunned that he was a boy and not a girl. Now? It’s different, but it’s wonderful. There’s little that’s sweeter than a newborn baby boy and I can promise he’ll take over a little part of your heart and you won’t want it back. I’m very excited for you!
October 1st, 2007 at 9:09 am
It’s true! When Opie was born many moms of boys told me there was something special about them and I smiled and thought to myself “WHATEVER.” But lately — I see it. I really do.
October 1st, 2007 at 9:10 am
But you do know about the boy diapering strategies now, right?
October 1st, 2007 at 11:51 am
I don’t know anything about boys – except to say good luck and don’t let him pee in your eye.
But, you play the harp? A woman of many talents.
October 1st, 2007 at 1:40 pm
A boy AND the baby of the family?
Oh, you’re doomed! He’s going to be so snuggly you’ll never put him down.
October 1st, 2007 at 1:51 pm
Boys are little dolls. I have two myself. They love to snuggle with their mums. Or anything with boobs for that matter. As far as the diaper changing goes, keep some spare cloth diapers nearby to throw on when he’s “bare” and tries to hose you, lol. And practice changing them really, really fast!
October 1st, 2007 at 5:37 pm
A boy. Wow. Wow!
I’m terrified about the possibility of having a boy. But then again, I fear change. At least that’s one child whose teenage years won’t be filled with estrogen mood swings.
October 1st, 2007 at 6:27 pm
[...] Uncharted territory [...]
October 1st, 2007 at 6:37 pm
I’ve said it before, just like Izzy said, boys LOVE their mommas. It is beyond fabulous to have the experience of boys and girls!
October 1st, 2007 at 7:36 pm
Just don’t forget to duck and cover when you change him!!
October 1st, 2007 at 8:14 pm
It will be an adventure…but you’ll handle it. I only have 1 boy, but he’s been a trip!!! Many differences that I get to compare to my friend’s who have all girls.
From the stuff he comes up with to the gross things he collects….he’s all boy
I love him!
October 1st, 2007 at 9:26 pm
I was in shock when we discovered we were having a boy – EVERYONE in my family has girls. But it’s been awesome.
Oh, and by the way – did I tell you Dex got a huge sword + gladiator outfit for his birthday???
October 2nd, 2007 at 6:19 am
Everyone beat me to my comment. Boys are “Mamma’s Boys” all the way. It’s really great. I think I have a deep-seated need to be the “favourite” though…:-)
I’m not sure what this next one is going to be. I used to think that I wanted one of each, but now, I think that having 2 boys would be pretty damn fantastic.
October 2nd, 2007 at 8:33 am
I adore my son in many ways. To see such an independent, hilarious boy still look towards his mom for affirmation and love is wonderful. You will enjoy this experience as much as having Tacy & CJ. It will be different in ways, but much the same as well.
October 2nd, 2007 at 1:28 pm
I always thought that girls were sweeter or cuddlier than boys. Although I don’t have a girl for comparison, I can tell you my boy is pretty cuddly.
You have a lot to look forward to.
October 2nd, 2007 at 8:50 pm
I was one of three sisters. Most of my cousins were girls. My first baby was a girl. So when the sonogram revealed boy parts, I sat there, stunned, while Hubs shot up from his chair and yelled, “YEAH!”
But my boy — oh, nothing like I expected. He’s so loving and snuggly and adoring.
(eek. i sound like of those doting MILs we all fear.)
October 2nd, 2007 at 8:58 pm
I had two girls and then a boy. I will say that when I found out I was having a boy I was a little worried, but I love him so much! It is great to be able to say that you get to experience both a son and daughter as many people don’t get that experience. And I have to agree there is nothing that compares to the way your little boy is going to love you. Mine is 7 and he still thinks the world of me.
October 3rd, 2007 at 12:00 pm
We were thrilled when we found out we were having a boy (and then later when the other one came along), but then I was scared because I didn’t have a clue what to do. Assvice that I learned the hard way? Beware the poop shower just as much as the golden one (and frankly, I’ve not had many golden showers, and I have a theory about that regarding circumcision, but this isn’t the place for that).
Boys are awesome. I love all my kids equally, but there are days when I like my boys the best. There’s just something about boys. You’ll love it.
October 10th, 2007 at 11:38 am
When I was pregnant with my first, I couldn’t envision myself having a boy. They couldn’t confirm the baby’s sex during ultrasounds because the hand was covering the pieces parts (they joked that it must be a boy, ha ha). I just KNEW that she was a girl. Boys were unfamiliar territory to me. I didn’t want a boy. I didn’t even pick out a boy’s name. Sure enough, my little princess was born.
3 years later, I found out I was having a boy. I felt the same as you do now, excited, but unsure. I have to say…it’s more than having enough love for another. I love my daughter with all of my heart. BUT, I have to say, there is definitely something special about a baby boy. It’s impossible to put into words. It’s something I never anticipated. My daughter is a little “mini me”, but my son, he rocks my world.
Enjoy!