Hop in my Chrysler, it’s as big as a whale
My dear, departed Pacifica,
I’m so sorry that I had to leave you behind yesterday afternoon. It’s not you; it’s me. Mostly.
Although blue is not my first choice in exterior color, your sleek crossover design more than made up for it. You pioneered what all the other manufacturers are now imitating. Your tinted windows kept my little ones’ eyes shaded. You wore your USAF anniversary plates with pride.
Your interior was even more lovely. With three rows of leather upholstered seats – easily wiped clean with Pledge wipes – we could take a single car even when we had grandparents visiting. Six-CD changer, with controls mounted on the steering wheel. Second row bucket seats, with a console and cupholders in the middle. Two memory settings for the driver’s seat position. Plenty of room in the back – for bikes, for the girls’ wagon, for the stroller and diaper bag, for the mountains of pool toys. And you even had heated seats. Oh, the joy of heated seats. I had no idea what I’d been missing. I could claim to have a hot ass and not be exaggerating.
You arrived in our lives the night before CJ was born. Your previous lessee had to give you up – too rich for his blood, I’m guessing – and drove you to the Newark airport, where Kyle picked up both you and his parents. And then sat for two hours while Port Authority police determined whether or not you rightfully belonged to us now.
You carried us from New Jersey to Colorado without protest. You even braved the length of Kansas, although not in a single stretch. We couldn’t have handled that either.
You ferried us around Colorado over the past two years – north and south and west – and around town as well. Only once did you have to go to the dealership for a little extra attention. I’m simply not used to having a car that requires so little TLC.
So why did we turn you in at the end of our lease?
Sadly, you’re a glutton. And we can’t afford to feed you anymore.
But don’t despair. From what I can see, we’re among a small minority of Coloradans who aren’t driven to drive the largest and most fuel-inefficient vehicles out there. I’m sure there’s already a long line of suitors waiting to court you after you’ve been cleaned up a bit. You’ll probably find a family who won’t feign heart attacks each time they fill you up. And when you do, you’ll forget all about us.
Bon voyage and many happy returns,
The mothergoosemouse family
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August 24th, 2007 at 6:01 am
So who’s your new ride?
August 24th, 2007 at 7:26 am
[...] Hop In My Chrysler, It’s As Big As A Whale [...]
August 24th, 2007 at 8:09 am
Inquiring minds want to know!
I’ve been eyeing the Pacifica as a replacement for my geriatric Pathfinder…uh oh. However I “only” make a 18 mile roundtrip commute four days a week.
August 24th, 2007 at 8:09 am
Yeah, whatcha gonna get next?
August 24th, 2007 at 8:22 am
Heated seats are not necessary in the south, but when I lived in Philly I carpooled in the early morning with a fellow with heated seats, and I was always like “why don’t YOU drive today?”
Also maybe because he had a SAAB and I had an old beater nicknamed “Suckling Pig”
August 24th, 2007 at 9:24 am
I’ve always wanted a multi-cd changer with controls on the steering wheel, but my husband asked, “How lazy do you have to be to need that?”
He’s just not up on new technology, I think.
August 24th, 2007 at 10:23 am
That’s the best title! Now that song will be stuck in my head all day….
August 24th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
Love Shack is ALWAYS stuck in my mind b/c my daughter listens to the station here that plays the best of the 80s and 90s. They really LOVE that song.
Back to you – the car – the gas – the convenience. We battle the same thing. I give up a lot, recycle, reuse and try very hard to only buy when something is dead, dying or destroyed … and yet, I haven’t yet been able to part with my inefficient beast of a ‘burb.
Congratulations for being a grown-up. I’ll get there, I promise.
August 24th, 2007 at 7:44 pm
Bummer! I loved that car too.
August 24th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
aw, poor Pacifica
we’ll be entering the world of 2-car family this fall and fuel consumption – or lack thereof – has become one of the top criteria.
did he get replaced or are you trying without?
August 24th, 2007 at 8:39 pm
Nothing like a having a hot ass. I will steal that from you and use it every day in the winter!!!
August 26th, 2007 at 10:44 am
Loved this. I recently bought a new car and even though I had come to hate my old car with a firey passion, I did mourn its passing. In fact, I still crane my neck to see if it is still in the dealership’s parking lot for unloved cars.
Sigh..it’s hard to say goodbye.
August 26th, 2007 at 4:52 pm
Gettin’ a minivan, eh?
See how my head went right there?!