You REALLY want to know what’s under my skirt?
Mayberry Mom was spot-on when she guessed my latest complaint about my IUD: It failed, and I’m pregnant.
It took three days of mid-afternoon naps and uncharacteristically early bedtimes before I broke down and peed on a stick just to eliminate confirm the possibility impossibility.
(I’m really not trying to make anybody worry unnecessarily about the effectiveness of their birth control. I’m sure YOUR birth control will function perfectly well. Even though mine - with a failure rate comparable to that of the Pill, the ring, the patch, the shot, vasectomy and tubal ligation - didn’t.)
The good news: In terms of physical health, the pregnancy is obviously not ectopic (a major risk with an IUD still in place at the time of conception) and all bloodwork and sonograms have been normal.
The not-so-good news: In terms of mental health, I fear for my sanity.
As anyone who knows me can surely guess, I’ve been feeling fairly ambivalent about this development. Since Kyle and I began discussing marriage, I’ve maintained that two kids would be all that I could handle. Before having kids, I used to joke that if we got pregnant with triplets, he’d have to pick the two he liked best.
Having two kids convinced me that I was right on target with my self-imposed limitations. It goes without saying that I adore my girls, and I derive more pleasure from them than I ever imagined I would, but there are days when they suck the life out of me. They’re kids; that’s their job. It’s my job to keep my wits about me and my frustration in check. And I’m afraid that by adding one more to the mix, I will have promoted myself to my level of incompetence.
But then again, I’ll have to become competent. There’s really no other option.
That sense of fait accompli is actually quite freeing. Now I can worry about other matters…like how to rearrange the furniture and how much maternity wear and how many baby accoutrements I can borrow from friends.
Oh, and sleep. Lovely, luxurious, soon-to-be-elusive sleep.
July 16th, 2007 at 5:19 am
My dear… you have to be just like me don’t you
July 16th, 2007 at 5:27 am
Ummmmm… Congratulations???? I’m sure that you will work everything out. I’m wishing you a smooth and easy pregnancy resulting in the dream child.
July 16th, 2007 at 5:48 am
Which IUD do you have? I have the Mirena, and because of it, I no longer have periods. About every few months I start feeling fat and tired and wondering if I should be worried. Then I go to the dollar store and get a cheap test just to set my mind at ease. I would absolutely freak out if I got pregnant!
So that notwithstanding, congratulations of course. And, um, are they removing the IUD, will it stay in place during the pregnancy? What the hell?
July 16th, 2007 at 5:57 am
Wow! I can understand how you feel - I would likely be having the same mixed feelings.
I guess you can say that this little person really wanted to join your family, right? Maybe in return he/she will be a wonderfully peaceful child who will sleep through the night from the beginning and never throw a tantrum.
So we’ll be buying you mocktinis at BlogHer then?
July 16th, 2007 at 6:18 am
Congratulations! My current pregnancy was mostly planned and I’ve still been feeling somewhat ambivalent and terrified about how I’ll handle two. But, I look to others like you who handle two with grace and figure I can do it too. And you’ll probably hear this more than you care to, but sometimes the best things in life are those we didn’t even know we needed or wanted. Here’s to a happy and healthy pregnancy!
July 16th, 2007 at 6:21 am
If all pregnancies were planned, half of us wouldn’t be here! I know this news comes as a surprise, but you’re a great mama and I know you’ll be perfectly incompetent just like the rest of us.
Congratulations!
July 16th, 2007 at 6:28 am
Holy mackerel!
It’s natural you feel this way. I’ve gone through it with several friends.
Here’s to good health, good delivery, and a very easy baby who slides into your family as easily as it was well, anyway I think you get my drift.
July 16th, 2007 at 6:30 am
Oh geez, got distracted trying to recall what the name of that cave is in Pooh’s Grand Adventure (not my question, BTW).
I meant to say my friends ended up just fine. It’s work, sure, it all is. But they managed beautifully and I have faith for you, too. And your kids are so cute, this one will be too. I always say kids are made cute for good reason.
July 16th, 2007 at 6:40 am
WHOA - next time i’ll check your blog before sending you an email!
Warmest congrats on what really is good news. The world needs more mothergoosemice.
July 16th, 2007 at 7:10 am
I think it’s so awesome that your huz is so supportive.
Too bad he can’t carry that little sucker
xox
July 16th, 2007 at 7:14 am
If and when it gets rough, just THINK of the blog fodder!
In all seriousness–you know we’re here for you, and that rascally, IUD-evading kid.
July 16th, 2007 at 7:25 am
WHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!???????!!!!!!!!!
Congratulations! You WILL rise to the occasion.
I imagine you might also need an extra martini once in a while.
XO
July 16th, 2007 at 7:51 am
Wow. I’m speechless. If it makes you feel better, I was an unplanned, and I’ve got a couple of unplanned, birth control failures over here.
Hmm, not that that sounds great when I reread it. I mean, really, who wants to be me?
In any case, I’m happy for you, and here if you need a shoulder.
July 16th, 2007 at 7:51 am
Holy moses!!!!!!!
I would say I’m totally excited for you and know you’ll do great, but I’m getting worried about my shot not working now. Great.
Maybe I should do the shot AND the pill AND an IUD. That should cover it.
Congrats, honey.
July 16th, 2007 at 7:52 am
Congratulations!
July 16th, 2007 at 8:17 am
Wow, didn’t expect that!
Congratulations, I am SURE you’ll rise to the occasion.
Best of luck on finding some sleep!
July 16th, 2007 at 8:21 am
{GASP!}
Not a chink in the armor of my beloved IUD!!
God works in mysterious ways. You go girl! I think the best birth control was being married to an ass.
July 16th, 2007 at 8:37 am
Wishing you a smooth pregnancy. I understand the mixed feelings, but you’ve always been such a competent person. You’ll be a great mom of three.
July 16th, 2007 at 8:44 am
Congrats and welcome to the club!
I completely understand how you are feeling. When I first discovered that our evening of careless romance had some big repercussions back in December, I was pretty mentally incapacitated.
The best advice I can offer is to let yourself really experience those feelings of ambivalence and anxiety. I spent several weeks working out my ‘unpleasant’ feelings before I could really get excited about my second pregnancy.
Look at the bright side. At least you didn’t accidentally get pregnant back in December so that you would be due three weeks after BlogHer. I’ve been trying to go to this damn conference for three years and I am forever thwarted!
When are you due, by the way?
July 16th, 2007 at 8:44 am
you gotta figure if you can pregnant with an iud…it’s meant to be, there’s some higher power at work.
but, it does mean i will be pushing the husband to get a vasectomy…asap.
July 16th, 2007 at 8:46 am
Many, many congratulations and best wishes for a smooth, easy, uneventful pregnancy. Do the girls know yet?
July 16th, 2007 at 8:56 am
Congrats!
July 16th, 2007 at 9:01 am
Woah! Big news!
As someone who is endlessly weighing the pros and cons of two,(for this same reason)I have asked myself a million times, what would I do if the condom broke? What do people do who get pregnant unexpectedly? I tell myself that they deal. More importantly, they are happy. A happy child raising existance does not depend on perfect planning.
I was chatting with Mayberry not long ago and asking her about having two and she said the best thing possible; that while it may be scary, your capability and your capacity can surprise you. You know she’s got to be right. She’s a smart cookie. No worries Julie, you’ll be better than fine! You’ll be amazing!
July 16th, 2007 at 9:09 am
If The Poo hadn’t been an accident, we’d still be discussing when we should have a baby.
I hear three is easier than two. My good friend just had her third and she said it was easy-peasy.
Congratulations, MG, Wishing you the best.
July 16th, 2007 at 9:14 am
Holy cow!
I just told C that I would be completely on the fence about #3 and here you are off the fence.
I understand your sense of ambivalence. I have no doubt you will hande three children with aplomb.
July 16th, 2007 at 9:15 am
WHOO WHOO WHOO WHOO WHOO!
And I’m not just saying that because now Cool Mom Picks has someone to review maternity clothes.
July 16th, 2007 at 9:21 am
Well, this is OBVIOUSLY meant to be! Congratulations! You’ll get used to it and feel less ambivalent soon. A friend of mine is onto her second pregnancy…with twins!!! So, you can thank your lucky stars, at least, that you’re not having twins!
July 16th, 2007 at 10:01 am
Congratulations! And the third one will be easy…’cause the first two can take care of the baby!
July 16th, 2007 at 10:21 am
Whoah. Holy cats. I am sure you are totally overwhelmed seeing as I am completely overwhelmed by your news. But congrats!!! If anyone can do this, you guys can.
And I’m really sorry for that Blue Hawaii and sangrias last month.
July 16th, 2007 at 10:26 am
Congratulations! The idea of a pregnancy will grow on you, no pun intended. I find that three is as easy as two, but then I have six…
That must have been one determined little spermie to get through all that armor of an IUD and do the job!
July 16th, 2007 at 11:07 am
congratulations!! maybe you’ll have a boy this time around. every parent needs a boy
but three girls works, too.
hope you enjoy your pregnancy and i’ll be looking forward to future posts updating us on how you’re feeling.
July 16th, 2007 at 11:25 am
Congratulations!
July 16th, 2007 at 11:27 am
I’m never having sex again!
Congrats on this unexpected development!!!!!
July 16th, 2007 at 11:36 am
Divrchk took the words right out of my mouth. Ummmmmm…. Congratulations? Yeah.
I sure do hope you write to the IUD company and ask for some financial help with their new baby. And please, whatever you do, don’t name the baby Mirana.
You’ll do fine. We all rise to the occasion when we have to. And think of all the raspberry fingernails in your future!
July 16th, 2007 at 11:36 am
Don’t worry, dear cousin.
I can come and make your life a Utopia even with three munchkins. I’ll even bring in Nanny B. Fret not.
Two good things have evolved from your new development. A) You’re going to have another precious one and B) You are my poster child for abstinence.
Congratulaions from the entire famn damily.
July 16th, 2007 at 11:46 am
WOW! You should have heard the big thunk as my jaw hit my desk.
Congratulations on your expanding family (and waistline). I know you’re still getting used to the idea, but I’m sure once that baby arrives, you’ll have a hard time remembering what it was like before he/she came on the scene.
XOXOXO! And more in person to come at BlogHer…
July 16th, 2007 at 11:47 am
I have the chills because I am so excited! Congratulations!!!!
Just wait, my last baby was a surprise too, and now I can’t even imagine why I thought our family was complete before he joined us. I am really so excited for you!
July 16th, 2007 at 11:48 am
Congrats!
July 16th, 2007 at 11:50 am
First, congratulations! News of a baby, whether planned or not, is good news.
Second, my third pregnancy was a complete and utter shock (didn’t figure it out until I was 16 weeks along - still nursing #2, no period). We had made a big deal about saying “the world is designed around families of 4″ and that kind of thing. #3 is now 20 months old and she really has added such a beautiful dynamic to our family. NOW, we’re complete.
Best of luck.
July 16th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Delurking to say congrats!!!!
Done is done and you’ll be amazed at how much your sanity and heart expands one more time.
July 16th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
Holy freakin’ wow Julie!!!
I understand your mental state. We are “finished” with making babies and if I were to accidentally get pregnant it would be a shock. A happy shock, but still, a shock.
Hey, maternity wear is SO much more fashionable. You’re gonna be a rocking prego mama! And I’m so glad everything looks great with the baby. Congrats!
p.s. I bet your girls will be big, big helperss…put ‘em to work!
July 16th, 2007 at 3:25 pm
Congrats! I’m sure it’s a shock, but just think of it as another adventure in project management, right?
Hugs to you, Kyle and the girls….
July 16th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
This may be small comfort, but they say that the 2nd is the hardest, and it gets much easier after that… in terms of the extra workload.. that having 3 or 4 or whatever isn’t that big of a difference. I have always wondered how that could be, but lots of people say that it’s so.
July 16th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
Congrats! Sounds to me like this was just meant to be and those situations always work out the best.
Sleep while you can, dear lady.
July 16th, 2007 at 3:59 pm
Congrats…
July 16th, 2007 at 6:05 pm
Wow!
Mental health aside… Congrats!!
You and Kyle make gorgeous kids, I guess this is life stepping in telling you the world needs more of those beauties.
July 16th, 2007 at 6:18 pm
I am the product of failed birth control. My mom told me she was pissed the entire time she was pregnant with me. “But once you got here, everything was ok,” she added.
I hope you have the same experience, minus the pissed-off part.
July 16th, 2007 at 6:36 pm
Whoa! Congrats. My 3rd was a shocker and he’s the love of my life. I couldn’t imagine our family without him now. You’ll feel that way too after your little bundle is born.
Although I did make my husband get the old snip-a-roo shortly thereafter…
Best wishes!
July 16th, 2007 at 7:03 pm
Wow! Oh, man, Julie.
I myself was an accident/mistake/unplanned fourth baby and now I’m my mom’s favorite. (Even though she might deny it, it’s true.)
Wishing you an easy pregnancy, an easy birth and a healthy, happy and EASY baby.
July 16th, 2007 at 7:35 pm
Congratulations? Yes, Congratulations!
July 16th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
Wow! Glad that everything looks ok. (Making note to self to have OB double check my Mirena). My biggest worry with the IUD are the complications that can follow, so I am very glad to see everything looks good. Congrats!
July 16th, 2007 at 8:06 pm
You know I remember reading a comment you left on someone else’s blog this past week saying that you didn’t recommend IUDs, and wondering why you didn’t! Congratulations.
July 16th, 2007 at 8:40 pm
deep breath
and biggest congrats. you’ll pull this off brilliantly, my dear!!
(note to self: book dr. appt to check on mirena…)
July 16th, 2007 at 8:57 pm
and hey, when are you due???
July 17th, 2007 at 12:18 am
Awww, baby news is always good news. You’ll cope just fine. Somehow after having two, another one kind of blends in. Sam was my ‘pill’ baby but I wouldn’t be without the little fella now.
Congratulations!!!
July 17th, 2007 at 5:29 am
OMG! Wow! What a shake-up. I am just… wow…. speechless.
Of course I am “secretly” excited and pleased and happy - but can roughly imagine how shocking this might be for you.
In my town, three is “the thing to do,” so hey, you’re trendy.
July 17th, 2007 at 7:02 am
Congratulations, Julie! I guess we’re destined to have all three of our kids close together in age. Yeppers, I’m working on #3.
We were actually trying, and I still have some ambivalence. Especially on the days I can’t stop worshipping the porcelain goddess.
July 17th, 2007 at 7:12 am
Well, you’ve heard this from me already, but it’s worth saying again:
WOOOOOO!!!!! HOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
July 17th, 2007 at 7:36 am
thanks for reminding me to find a new gyn, make an appointment, and schedule a tubal…
uh–and congrats, i guess?
July 17th, 2007 at 7:37 am
Holy. Shit.
I’m sorry, what I meant to say was: CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Sorry for my surprise. It’s just that now I really know someone who’s IUD failed them. And I can’t help wondering about my own. Ack!!
July 17th, 2007 at 11:44 am
Reminds me of one of my favorite movie lines….from Parenthood, natch…
I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn’t like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.
July 17th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
This is why I stop into my OB’s office every morning on the way to work to double-check that my Mirena’s in place. I’m kidding. Every other morning.
Congrats!
July 17th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
Oh my GAWD! Congratulations! Wishing you a happy and healthy nine months!!
July 17th, 2007 at 5:07 pm
CONGRATS!!
From another mom of Surprise #3, I echo the others. Once s/he’s here, you won’t remember what it’s like to be Mom Of Two.
Best Wishes for a healthy pregnancy!!
July 17th, 2007 at 11:28 pm
Congratulations….
But…what happens to the IUD? Does it stay in there?
July 18th, 2007 at 4:54 am
You are so brave to acknowledge the mixed feelings one has - it’s going to be OK, though: once they’re here you won’t be able to imagine life without him/her (and older ones help out tons with the babysitting) — it’s very different from having a first. Good luck!
July 18th, 2007 at 7:24 am
Oh, congratulations! I know it’s a surprise, but … wow! Can’t wait to “meet” the little one!
July 18th, 2007 at 7:55 am
congratulations! I’m excited for you, and only partly because I want more preggo bloggers to bond with
July 18th, 2007 at 8:39 am
Yep..we just looked at the stick and looked at each other and wondered just how stupid we were.
Congrats
July 18th, 2007 at 10:25 am
I;m going to second all the peeps who’ve chimed in with the going to three is easier than going to two. There is usually something about the third’s personality, making them so much more accommodating to the family at large. They have to be more chill, less needy, since so many other people have come before them.
Congratulations! Enjoy the sweetness of the afternoon nap!
And since my husband and I only use condoms, I’m wondering how long it’s going to be before I find my self a little too woozy and a lot too tired and whoops! Here’s to the third!
July 18th, 2007 at 5:44 pm
Oh, I SO know how you feel… the 3rd pregnancy - ON birth control, no less. lol
All I can say is…
DON”T READ MY BLOG! LOL
No, seriously - what choice DO you have
and wow, congratulations :)))
As for the iPod - 99% of mine is 80s too! lol
Rock on, Bon Jovi, Prince and ummm… ok, some 90’s- nSync! LOL
God, I’m old.
July 18th, 2007 at 6:40 pm
CONGRATS!
I (yes I know I’m insane) am currently trying for number 3, if it happens soon we can cross the threshold into mommy madness together! tee hee
July 18th, 2007 at 7:07 pm
Well, at least we can stay sober together at Blogher.
Congratulations for the unexpected, but still cool little dude on the u/s.
Due date?
July 19th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
WoW!!!!! Congrats!!!!!!!!
July 19th, 2007 at 2:25 pm
Wow! Look at that cute little human! Congratulations.
July 19th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
Holy Cannoli!
Congratulations!!
In all honesty, I’m hoping for a mistake like this one. In some ways, less stressful than the whole messy business of “trying.”
So happy for you!
July 19th, 2007 at 7:19 pm
I’m three days late to the party, but CONGRATULATIONS! I was stunned by the news of three as well, but it is all doable. And that baby in the ultrasound just looks like the cutest thing ever. It looks like his(?) little arm buds are raised in a ‘hooray for me!’ pose.
July 20th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
Congrats! You’ll be fine. Just take it one day at a time.
July 20th, 2007 at 7:30 pm
Holy shit!!! I’m stunned but also very happy for you. You’re one of the most capable women I know and you’ll pull this off beautifully. I’m just sorry we won’t be able to share a Mojito again this year
July 21st, 2007 at 1:38 am
Congratulations! Three is not much harder than two, honestly! And the older two will be a constant stream of entertainment for the new arrival.
July 23rd, 2007 at 10:23 am
Or I could combine both — Holy Shit AND Congratulations! Actually, a close friend of mine has recently found herseslf, shall we say, similarly situated. Just breathe, breathe!
July 23rd, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Wow! Congratulations and happiness to you, Julie! Take it easy now, ya hear?
July 26th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
My god, how did I miss this? Congratulations, and a hug because - well, because:
(((Julie)))
July 26th, 2007 at 9:27 pm
You’ll be fine, once the initial shock wears off. I hope the IUD doesn’t cause you any problems with the pregnancy, and I’m hoping you have an easy pregnancy and birth. Congratulations!
July 29th, 2007 at 5:42 pm
[…] Julie’s eating for two, and Catherine is nibbling at some veggies to save room for all the alcohol. […]
August 3rd, 2007 at 8:34 pm
How did I miss this?!
Why can’t *I* have the failing IUD?!? I’ll keep wishing…
Anyhow, congrats. You’ll turn into supermom when you have to!
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