What’s the going rate for the Tooth Fairy?
Tacy and I were reading the Shel Silverstein poem about the crocodile who went to the dentist and discussing whether it would hurt to yank out a tooth when I peered into her mouth and saw this:
That’s right – the permanent tooth is making its way through the gum behind her baby tooth, which is just starting to loosen.
I lost my first tooth one day at pre-school. My parents had cautioned me that my teeth probably wouldn’t start falling out until I was six, and in the meantime, I should STOP WIGGLING THEM. Needless to say, when I wiggled one enough that it came out in my hand, I was reduced to tears, thinking my parents would be furious with me.
I lost my last tooth one evening in college. And that’s all I have to say about that.
My teeth have been a lifelong source of consternation for me. From that first lost tooth to three years of school pictures that included braces. From my crown and veneer to a second round of braces as an adult, plus two excruciating rounds of gum surgery. My teeth have taken me to hell and back.
Much of the work was done by an Air Force periodontist and prosthodontist. My first round of gum surgery – on the uppers – resulted in a black eye, but ten years later my gums are still in great shape.
The prosthodontist was one of the most patient and gentle dental professionals I ever knew (and you know they aren’t exactly renowned for patience and gentleness). He took great pains to match the porcelain colors of my crown and veneer – and to match them to the surrounding teeth. It’s because of his work that very few people can tell that those teeth aren’t my own. And again, ten years later, they’re still in great shape.
During the course of my prosthodontic treatment, one evening while brushing my teeth, my crown dislodged and went down the sink drain. Being without any tools (or know-how), I couldn’t retrieve it. Fortunately, I was already scheduled to see the dentist first thing the next morning, so I went to bed and didn’t give that gaping hole another thought. Unfortunately, I still wasn’t thinking about it as I walked across the parking lot to the dental building and greeted another officer with a salute and a big smile. The look on his face at the sight of my gap was priceless.
In the Air Force, all treatment was fully covered – no out-of-pocket expense. But in New York, I had to be sure that whatever treatment was recommended would be covered by my insurance. Dental work is not cheap.
So when I went to another periodontist, he took pictures of my gums to submit to the insurance company. A little gross, but it saved me from paying nearly $2K. And even better, this time I didn’t get a black eye and the dentist covered all the wounds with some sort of waxy adhesive. But it still hurt like hell, and I discovered that Vicodin and I don’t get along.
Given all of my own pain and suffering, it’s no wonder that I’m already encouraging my girls to brush thoroughly (but gently!). I’ll break out the real horror stories once all of their permanent teeth have come in.
And given how motivated I am to stay out of the dentist’s chair (other than twice-yearly cleanings, of course), it’s no wonder that I jumped at the chance to try out a fabulous new electric toothbrush. If you’ve never tried one (as I hadn’t), you may want to check out my review. I’ve been converted for life.
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Well, I never claimed to have a good sense of humor – that’s Kyle’s department. So it should be no surprise to you that he thinks Pearl is a laugh riot. I love Will Ferrell – he himself is a laugh riot – but I think it’s a bit creepy to hear a two year-old say “I need to get my drink on.”
Therefore, it’s me who laughs her ass off while watching Tom Green rub his bum on unsuspecting passers-by. What can I say – I have the sense of humor of a twelve year-old boy. I hope you can still respect me in the morning.
July 9th, 2007 at 7:03 am
WOW! I can’t believe it’s coming in already.
And tooth fairy money? Cripes? I got a dollar and I hear that’s pretty good.
July 9th, 2007 at 7:39 am
My boss’s boss recently revealed that he gave his daughter $20 for a tooth. That’s 2-0 TWENTY BUCKS! I thought a dollar was a lot!
Go watch the outtakes of the Landlord. You’ll see no toddlers were harmed in the filming of that hilarity.
July 9th, 2007 at 9:47 am
Wow, look at that tooth!
(And I have the utmost respect for grown women who love Tom Green…because I am one of them…)
July 9th, 2007 at 10:12 am
The rate She used in our house was 1 buck for the non front teeth…and 5 bucks a piece for the coveted front two teeth.
Just get ready, cause all of Em’s fell out in like a 4 week period, and the Fairy was a little short of cash..leading to a very narrow predicament where She almost forget and then was discovered escaping the bedroom….
And Dude. If you have not yet seen it, You MUST see Knocked Up.
I promise both you and Kyle will be weeping with laughter.
July 9th, 2007 at 10:12 am
My niece lost a tooth while we were visiting last week and my sister-in-law said $2 is the going rate at their house. I might go for $1 when the time comes. Why start high?
July 9th, 2007 at 10:19 am
Wow, that’s amazing! I had no idea permanent teeth could come in so early.
I lost my two front teeth in second grade, and had to wait an entire year for the new ones to fully grow in. Then in fourth grade I had braces that stayed for five years. It was a real pain.
With the state of my teeth and my husband’s, we’ve decided we should already start saving for orthodontics for the girls.
July 9th, 2007 at 10:50 am
oh OUCH. That can’t feel good. I say give her her a dollar. Id suggest candy too, but I guess that sort of sends a mixed message (I haven’t gotten to this phase yet- what do I know?)
July 9th, 2007 at 6:22 pm
I say a dollar…I can’t believe Mayberry’s boss!!!???!!!
Caitlin is obsessed with losing her baby teeth, or as she so eloquently puts it….”Mama, when are my teeth going to fall out?”
p.s. you must tell the college story some time
July 9th, 2007 at 6:39 pm
Same thing happened to Ian. He looked like a shark, with actual rows of teeth. The dentist gave him actual CHOCOLATE SCENTED NITROUS OXIDE, and pulled it. And he got two bucks, because you get twice as much from the Tooth Fairy for an extraction, don’t you know.
July 9th, 2007 at 8:40 pm
stumbled here…and had to add my two cents (but not $20!) My baby bear, at 5, had something similar, two adult teeth growing in sideways behind the baby teeth – had to have the bottom FOUR teeth extracted…yikes. The tooth fairy paid BIG TIME for that…those incisors are freakishly LONG!
July 9th, 2007 at 8:55 pm
I say a dollar, but I think a quarter is just fine too, personally.
And I hear you on the dental woes. I have had two gum surgeries, braces, retainers, bonding, an accidental stabbing from my dentist that resulted in 3 stitches on my tongue… and finally veneers. Uck.
And I can’t believe you like Tom Green.
July 9th, 2007 at 10:04 pm
My daughter’s been losing baby teeth since she was 4 years old. We always give a buck or if we’re short on cash, four quarters because, you know, the Tooth Fairy sometimes runs out of small bills and has to dig around in her backpack for change.
July 10th, 2007 at 6:46 am
I’ve been using the Philips Sonicare since it first came out 8 years ago. I will never ever go back to manual. Every time I go to the dentist, they tell me how healthy my teeth and gums are and my cleanings literally take half the time.
Of course, I’m kind of a oral hygiene freak anyway, but seriously I love the electric toothbrush.
July 10th, 2007 at 9:32 am
Whatever you do, do NOT get caught in the middle of the night with no money when the tooth falls out! That happened to me, and all I could fins was a $5 bill. It happened two nights in a row (long story, but I had no idea she had another tooth loose so I didn’t hurry on getting smaller bills), so now our tooth fairy amount is $5 each tooth, which kills me, and makes all my neighbors mad. I wanted it to be $1, and when I was little I only got a quarter.
I like Tom Green better too, but I am not surprised because we seem similar in a lot of things.
July 10th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
One dollar, but only if it’s American
July 10th, 2007 at 9:04 pm
Yeah, I think a dollar is fair.
Although, when Toni was six she knocked out her four top front teeth when she tripped and hit a chair… you wanna talk about making some Tooth Fairy cash in a hurry! Terrible, terrible day.
Teeth are just icky.
July 12th, 2007 at 6:22 am
I think I only lost two of my baby teeth the natural way. All of the others had to be yanked out by the dentist. I had an overcrowded mouth, and I had to have four adult teeth pulled before the orthodontist would put braces on my teeth.
My parents didn’t do the tooth fairy thing, just like we didn’t have Santa or Halloween or the Easter Bunny. I’m not sure what we’ll do for our son. We’re just so anxious to have all of his baby teeth come in… haven’t even considered that they’ll be falling back out in a few years.