Odes to holiday advertising
Razors and gold, razors and gold
Nobody wishes for razors or gold
Buying these gifts shows to me
That you’ve got zero creativity.
Razors and gold, razors and gold
Might be ideal gifts for some
But if you really want to please me
Buy me platinum.
——————————
Said the little boy to the tired mom,
“Do you see what I see? Do you see what I see?
On the TV ads, tired mom,
Do you see what I see? Do you see what I see?
Power Rangers, those are what I need
I’ll repeat it ’til your ears bleed,
Buy them now – I’ve planted the seed.”
Said the little girl to the tired mom,
“Do you hear what I hear? Do you hear what I hear?
On the TV ads, tired mom,
Do you hear what I hear? Do you hear what I hear?
A doll, a doll, that eats and poops for real
Only sixty bucks - what a deal,
I’ve been taken in by the spiel.”
Said the tired dad to the tired mom,
“Do you know what I know? Do you know what I know?
We are going broke, tired mom,
Do you know what I know? Do you know what I know?
Our kids, our kids, they don’t need all this crap
No more Bratz or jeans from the Gap,
Just wool mittens and a stocking cap.”
Said the mom to the people everywhere,
“Listen to what I say! Listen to what I say!
Stop buying crap, people everywhere,
Listen to what I say! Listen to what I say!
We’re spending more than we’ve got
What we love is not what we’ve bought,
But the people whose love we have sought.”
December 14th, 2006 at 4:13 pm
you are truly darling.
December 14th, 2006 at 4:59 pm
Oh man did I love this .
December 14th, 2006 at 5:57 pm
Truly creative. You’ve been staying up late writing…we can tell.
December 14th, 2006 at 6:46 pm
I bow to your powers of lyricism! That was very creative, and unfortunately, all too true.
December 14th, 2006 at 9:08 pm
I trust you saw the picture I posted of the unbelievable pile of boxes that appeared on my porch today? Oy vey!
December 14th, 2006 at 9:42 pm
A gem, I tell you. You are a gem.
December 15th, 2006 at 8:09 am
Fantastic! I loved your version of the song better than the original. And you’re right, there is way too much crap being bought that is not needed.
December 15th, 2006 at 8:46 am
Destined to be a classic
)
December 15th, 2006 at 9:14 am
Does that mean I shouldn’t get Mr Stapler a nose-hair trimmer?
(The nose-hair trimmer is a running joke with us.)
December 15th, 2006 at 9:21 am
Heh. Awesome.
December 16th, 2006 at 2:28 pm
Classic.
No expensive crap. Why all of MF’s gifts from us – mostly puzzles and books – are from local charity shops (i.e., secondhand).
December 19th, 2006 at 6:31 am
This is fantastic.