Many exits
In college, I spent my summers working for a local independent bookstore.
Surrounded by books, I read even more voraciously than I had as a child, and I read a much wider variety of authors, writing on a much wider variety of topics. In some cases, I would read everything that the author had ever produced, and yet I still wanted more. I would check the computer system and the shelves to see if there was anything I had missed, but would eventually accept that I had exhausted that author’s supply of words.
College was also a time during which many people – friends, acquaintances, professors, co-workers – entered and exited my life. A few of them I unexpectedly met again, but almost all of them have drifted away. Even with my embarrassingly good memory for names and faces (who wants to be the one who can remember everyone else but is relatively forgettable herself?), only wisps of recollection remain. I didn’t set out to forget them, but it happens anyway.
Sometimes people run out of words, and sometimes people simply move on. I’ve been left behind, and I’ve left others behind. We enjoy the time we have together, the lessons we can share with one another, and when it’s over, we carry on as we always have.
October 24th, 2006 at 8:28 am
This post reminded me of my college life. I barely talk to anyone from that time, as I’ve moved so far away from it. But that doesn’t excuse the fact that even if I see them online (aim) I choose not to msg them…
It’s weird, I suppose I have distanced myself from it all, maybe to ensure that I don’t “return” to that thinking or “miss” that lifestyle…
But then again, how can one REALLY miss charging ramon noodles on a Visa card with 18% interest and bouncing a check to Walmart for a loaf of bread….
- Jon
- Daddy Detective
- http://www.daddydetective.com
October 24th, 2006 at 8:52 am
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. People and events that once seemed so important, I can scarcely recall now. That guy who broke my heart in 10th grade? Ummm, Bill? Boyd? Bruce? The impermanence of those memories can sometimes be kind, I think. But in other ways, it’s sad to leave behind people that touched our lives. There are a few I’d like to look up. Maybe I wouldn’t even contact them. I’d just like to know how they’re doing. A couple, I’d just like to make sure they’re okay.
October 24th, 2006 at 9:23 am
I am also the one who can remember everyone’s name and face, while they look at me like “I’ve never seen you before in my life!”
October 24th, 2006 at 9:31 am
I saw someone at a department store about three months ago who I recognized, but couldn’t for the life of me remember how I knew her. I didn’t have the guts to just go up to her and ask. I wish I had. I still find myself trying to remember who she was. … I’ve been doing the whole-author things since I was a kid. Different authors at different times of my life. It’s kind of interesting to think about the different life stages I was at when I read certain authors. Janette Oke when I was ten. VC Andrews at 15. Margaret Atwood at 19. Milan Kundera at 21. Ayn Rand at 22. Dean Koontz at 24.
October 24th, 2006 at 9:44 am
This was just beautiful, Julie. Made me sigh aloud.
October 24th, 2006 at 10:00 am
And this is why I love you.
October 24th, 2006 at 10:09 am
But it’s always nice to have known them, right?
October 24th, 2006 at 10:22 am
I can’t remember names – faces, the who, what and were, but not the name…
Thoughtfully written, as always…
October 24th, 2006 at 10:31 am
What you say is so true. Why can’t I remember the names of certain professors or the people who lived in my apartment complex? They seemed so important at the time.
October 24th, 2006 at 11:35 am
Thank you for both sides of it. I’ve been feeling very insignificant lately, but your perspective helps.
October 24th, 2006 at 12:31 pm
This was wonderful. Last week I was looking through old photo albums and it dawned on me that I’ve forgotten the names of half of my high school classmates. All of my teen angst seems so wasted now.
October 24th, 2006 at 12:53 pm
Lately, I’ve been thinking about myself in terms of the person who can remember everybody, but is forgettable herself. I guess it take two to tango though, huh? If I really wanted to continue the friendship, then I would have made a bigger effort. Thanks for your post.
October 24th, 2006 at 1:31 pm
Well stated. I, too, have been pondering this state of having no more words. Fascinating.
October 24th, 2006 at 1:41 pm
I’ve thought about this a lot myself – how people seem to come and go from each other’s lives so much. For me, personally, it’s been a sad thing. Many good friends of mine have moved away and it’s hard to keep up a friendship long-distrance sometimes. And as for the book thing, I hear ya. There are a few authors I’d like to bring back from the dead and get writing again!
October 24th, 2006 at 2:18 pm
I have been thinking about this subject ALOT lately. Only, my thoughts are not limited to college. It has happened in my life many times since then, even more recently, especially since relocating 800+ miles away….I was in mourning for a while, thinking, why did this friendship, that friendship not survive? What I have come to realize is there are MANY people who are transient in one’s life…throughout various stages/phases..whatever. I thought I would have learned this in the last 40 years, but apparently I am still learning this. Maybe there are those along the way who are placed in our life for a reason…a purpose, to help us through a phase in our life at that point. I don’t know….that sounds sort of depressing, doesn’t it? Sorry
October 24th, 2006 at 2:33 pm
This was a nice perspective. I feel the same way, like invisible girl.
October 24th, 2006 at 6:11 pm
I used to have an excellent memory for names and faces, but in the last few years I seem to have lost it. My hairdresser came to my garage sale last summer, and I couldn’t remember who she was. And yet people I worked with at the credit union 9, 10 years ago will see me at Wal-Mart and remember me.
Next year at Blogher, I promise when I see you, I’ll remember who you are! That was soooo embarassing.
October 24th, 2006 at 6:14 pm
When a butterfly lands on you, it’s delightful and then it’s over. A reminder how important it is to appreciate relationships in the moment. (Am I not the biggest cheese-ball on Earth today, or what?!)
October 24th, 2006 at 6:15 pm
Sheesh, with the mood out there, this better not be a round about way of saying good-bye to all of us!
True post. So true.
October 24th, 2006 at 7:02 pm
The best thing about running out of words is finding new words where you least expected!
Good luck!
October 24th, 2006 at 7:32 pm
I have the embarrassing ability to forget names and faces. It’s a gift, really. It comes in handy when I have to admit to someone that I have no idea who they are and they inform me that we attended school together for 12 years.
October 25th, 2006 at 6:19 am
This post made me cry. I’m not sure what part struck me the most but now I feel all melancholy…longing for something I can’t quite put my finger on.
But in a good way.
October 25th, 2006 at 6:58 am
My husband and I always feel like losers for not trying harder to keep up with past friends but it’s so hard to keep up the contact. My sister’s Christmas card is list 200 long but mine’s about 20–and all family. Honestly, with a large family who has time to bond with past roomates? It’s so tough.
October 25th, 2006 at 7:15 am
I can’t see the comment I left yesterday, so I’ll try again. I love this post because it is so true. Things change, but change can also be good sometimes too. I looked at my high school yearbook with my kids the other day and when they asked who people were, I had to cheat and look up their names. People who were very important to me at the time.
October 25th, 2006 at 7:58 am
Something about autumn that fills us all with reminiscence and a touch of melancholy.
Beautiful post.
October 25th, 2006 at 10:34 am
I really wish I would have finished college. I keep saying I’ll go back when the bills are paid off, but that may be never.
Great post!
October 26th, 2006 at 8:33 am
Yep. You nailed it.
It can be hard sometimes, but change is a part of life. People evolve and grow, and the people who were once central to our lives may be relegated to the wings, or leave the theater altogether.