I know of another family that has a boy with a learning disability and through lack of their education, they do not challenge the system, they think their boy is just fine.’No boy of theirs is stupid’ and through the ignorance of the parents this poor boy he is slipping so far down. He is falling through the cracks and the class system I think allows for this.

Through lack of education it is hard to see what an education can give you.

Why is that? And how can I reassess?

As I am sure you remember from living in this area, there’s a lot of keeping-up-with-the-jones here. Big houses to fill with expensive furniture, ostentatious luxury vehicles, and big-name employment. (Everyone wants to know what your job is and where you work when you first meet them.) The displays of wealth are astounding.

It’s funny, though, because even though I have the good job and the degrees and a decent paycheck coming in to the house, I’m finding that I have little interest in displays of material wealth. If anything, I’d like to simplify my life and cut back on all the STUFF that we have. It seems like the more I’ve advanced in life, the more I realize that money does not buy happiness. I’d rather focus on being “fine folk” from the perspective of doing good deeds for the community and raising my girls to be good citizens.

I lean to having great appreciation for people with good hearts and street smarts (read common sense). I’d rather sit down with a person that I can have a great conversation with over any of the superficial qualifiers any day. Those are my kind of fine folks. Yes, sometimes those people do come with money, education and a big career and sometimes they don’t.

Also people with common sense in general don’t over extend themselves. They also realize that by having more material possessions they are not better people.

We buy used stuff, have one car, live in an older home, and the kids wear hand me downs,etc, etc… We don’t waste much money. We aren’t the type of people to try and keep up with everyone else. If you can’t afford to pay for something and you buy it anyway you are going to be miserable atleast for a while…

The hubs and I know some wealthy people but you couldnt tell it by the cars they drive or the clothes they wear because they SAVE it. Smart wealthy people save their money.

Also, I think shopping as in constantly buying stuff you dont need going out on shopping sprees a couple times a week is kind of like getting high. You want something to make you feel better and for a little while buying all those material things make you feel better but it is short lived. Just my opinion…

Yes, we sometimes have to put off large purchases. Yes, we sometimes have to watch our budget very closely. Yes, we have to save (novel idea) for things. But it’s very liberating not to dread opening the mail every week.

People wonder why we have an older home in some disrepair, or why husband drives a late model jeep, or why we don’t have the latest in home decor and furnishings. My sister-n-law has had three, count ‘em three new living room suites in ten years. She actually said to me once…”Why don’t you get a job so you can redecorate?” We choose for me to be home with the kids, we choose to live without credit cards. That means we simply cannot affor to keep up with the Joneses, but it’s a decision we are very happy with.

We roll our eyes when friends and acquaintances drive up in their $40,000 SUV’s, knowing they can hardly pay the electric bill to light their $600,000 home. Everybody knows that he works at Kroger. Do they think we don’t know that they’re living on credit?

I don’t know why it’s come to this. I think we’ve become a nation of self-absorbed immediate gratification addicts with entitlement issues. Nobody thinks they should have to save or work for anything anymore.

I think about this all the time. Especially with regard to raising sensible children in a world that has lost all sense. I started to notice it most when friends of mine would marvel that T and I had bought an apartment in Park Slope when they couldn’t *imagine* affording one. I would look at their huge diamond rings and my (ahem) modest one and shake my head. For whatever reason, a big, honkin’ rock was more important to them and they couldn’t even grasp how insane that was.

Not to muddy the waters, but when speaking of “class” she will often bring up that I “really could have that expensive thing I’ve been eyeing” because we both have college-plus degrees and she doesn’t have any. This isn’t a good enough excuse, but I also don’t think it’s because we’re more educated and therefore put ourselves into unnecessary debt. We’ve got enough debt already, thankyouverymuch.

Also? I love you, and I mean LOVE you, for quoting the book I re-read every single year. My only problem with the movie is when they cut out my favorite chapter. Geez. What a wasted opportunity. But still! In the movie when the minister says, “Stand up, Jean Louise. You’re father’s passing.” – oh. my. lord. I cry every single time.