The dos and don’ts of working productively with your child care provider
DO bring in diapers and wipes and spare clothes promptly when asked. DON’T assume that the school has extra supplies.
DO understand that children bite, scratch, kick and hit one another. Yes, even your child. DON’T immediately accuse your child’s teacher of not paying enough attention.
DO read the materials that your child brings home, including calendars and notices. DON’T forget to send appropriate supplies or dress your child appropriately for the planned activities each day.
DO take a moment to glance at the artwork your child has made. DON’T throw it in the garbage in front of your child or in front of your child’s teacher.
DON’T drop off your child in a poopy diaper (if you can help it). If you have time, DO offer to change the diaper yourself.
DO sign up to bring something to the class party. DON’T assume that the other parents will take up the slack. DON’T worry, it doesn’t have to be homemade.
DON’T go straight to the director with every complaint. DO speak to your child’s teacher first.
DO give your child’s teacher the respect she deserves. DON’T forget that she spends all day every day helping to keep your child (and several others) safe and happy.
August 28th, 2006 at 3:08 pm
Good list.
DO remember that your day care providers are human. They like being greeted and talked with, they like you to ask how their vacation was and they appreciate being welcomed back after an absence. DON’T drop your kid off in the morning without a sideways glance and a greeting. That’s just bad manners.
DO encourage your children to be affectionate with their day care providers, if they are comfortable with it. DON’T be threatened by your day care provider showing affection to your children or vice versa. Letting the provider hug, kiss, and love your child does not in any way threaten your bond with them.
August 28th, 2006 at 3:30 pm
DO inform your provider if anything unusual happened the night/morning before. It helps the provider if he/she knows that your child didn’t get enough sleep, or was up multiple times in the night. DON’T bring your child to day care sick.
DO read the parent’s information – know and understand the policies the daycare has set. DON’T think that the policies don’t apply to you.
August 28th, 2006 at 3:33 pm
I was a preschool teacher for a while and I have to agree with all your Do’s! Also, DO remember that your child is with this person a full day and maybe you should treat the teacher with respect! You wouldn’t believe the number of parents who acted as though I was less than a person because I chose to take care of children all day instead of getting a job that paid well! I was fortunate that my husband made enough at his job that I was able to do what I loved even though the pay is way lower than it should be.
Oh, I just read your list again and noticed mine is already on there. Oh well, I’ll leave it because it is important.
August 28th, 2006 at 3:55 pm
This was a great list. Since you’ve been on the “inside”, I’ve always wondered something: do providers ever favor children whose parents they like best?
I think I know the answer, but wanted to see what you’re experience has been.
August 28th, 2006 at 4:07 pm
MOTR, you might say that we love the children in spite of their parents.
August 28th, 2006 at 4:29 pm
Okay, I’m bad at remembering to bring in spare clothes. I’m also bad at remembering to check the art folder, although when I do check it, I bring it all home and hold onto the stuff until my kitchen looks like a landfill.
I’m pretty good with the rest of the stuff though. If the kid goes poo on the way to school, I do the diaper change myself after arrival. I also try to bring stuff to most or all of their little parties, because I don’t want to feel like a Communist.
Stacey
August 28th, 2006 at 4:57 pm
Great list! When I went back to work after our second son was born, I would to nurse him over my lunch hour in his daycare room (our daycare was on the campus where I was working – so handy). I got to know his caregivers so well, and got to see how they interacted with him and with the other kids. I was afraid I would see “too much” being there every day, but it really upped my confidence in them even further. I wish all parents could have that experience.
August 28th, 2006 at 5:16 pm
My mom is a nursery school teacher and would love to see this list! YAY!
August 28th, 2006 at 5:38 pm
Thank you. Julia’s on the waiting list for preschool and I’m a first-timer at all of this. Really, this list is just what I needed to see.
August 28th, 2006 at 6:53 pm
Today I was told, “DO NOT make fun of me” by one of my daycare providers who was jumping up and down singing “Who Let The Dogs Out” with a ring of 5 two and three year olds.
August 28th, 2006 at 7:06 pm
That is a great list! The reading the things they bring home is important…because I know we missed something the one day we didn’t!
August 28th, 2006 at 7:32 pm
DO acknowledge your child’s teachers with thank you notes or small gifts. I try to get something for Teacher Appreciation Week and Christmas. It’s never big, but it is important that they’re recognized as people who contribute to the well-being of our family.
DO learn about your children’s friends at school. This gets more important as they get older. My two-year-old is much more likely to talk about school if I ask her which friends she played with. It’s not a bullshit question because she knows I know who they are.
August 28th, 2006 at 8:03 pm
And if you DO decide to bring something to the class party, homemade or not, make sure there are enough for every child in the class.
We think you’re insane, crazy and cheap when you drop off a pack of twelve cookies for a class of 28.
I mean, me and the other volunteer mom eat four apiece as it is.
August 28th, 2006 at 8:04 pm
Wow, people actually throw away their kids art projects right away? That’s just mean.
I haven’t had my kid in daycare yet so I’m loving this list. I think I’ll print it out and put it on my fridge for when that day comes for me to drop her off with a daycare provider or preschool. Thanks!
August 28th, 2006 at 8:05 pm
The child care providers of the world should be sending you large, six-figure checks right this minute.
August 28th, 2006 at 8:17 pm
I love it. This is great for me to read because I’m sending my 11-month-old to ’school’ for the first time tomorrow.
That said, I really have no tips to add.
Although, last week we did go up to the school for a trial run. We were assigned to bring in 20 diapers. I labeled each of diaper w/ my son’s name, wrapped them in two piles of 10, and tied each of the bundles up with a ribbon to keep them together. I wasn’t trying to be clever, really. I was just trying to keep the diaper piles from spilling out everywhere. But the teachers raved about it. Not sure why. But it seems teachers appreciate labeling and containing things. My son will be sufficiently labeled tomorrow. It will be up to them to contain him.
August 28th, 2006 at 8:58 pm
I can’t even imagine how hard it must be to teach preschool, all those tiny kids and so much responsibility. I hope your list gets printed and passed around!
August 28th, 2006 at 9:36 pm
This is great–and I love all the additions, especially Nancy’s about not being threatened by affection. I’d also add:
DO pay your bill promptly, and DON’T complain about the cost. The “profit” margins for child care are razor-thin, if they exist at all. It goes without saying that this is an extremely difficult job, and an extremely important one, so let’s pony up.
August 28th, 2006 at 9:43 pm
Do pay attention to the curriculum for the week and ask your child relevant questions, like “so did you practice drawing the letter R today?” Do ask your child how their day went. Do appreciate your child’s teacher and all that they do to make your child feel safe and welcome and loved away from home.
Awesome list! This is a great idea.
August 28th, 2006 at 10:04 pm
Great list! Does anyone have suggestions about particularly appreciated thank-yous for nannies? I’ve been adding a tip to her check during months where she’s really helped us extra (just about every month) and little holiday gifts. She and Q have the same birthday, which is a fun coincidence.
August 29th, 2006 at 12:29 am
Definitely a helpful list! Thanks a lot for sharing this, M …
I linked you up in my blog post: Things to Remember Before Sending Your Kids Off to Preschool or Daycare.
I hope you don’t mind with that.
August 29th, 2006 at 7:29 am
Your poopy diaper one got me, because my babysitter’s husband likes to tease me and say that I intentionally leave the poopy diaper on the boy when I bring him there so I don’t have to change it! I do not! ;^)
August 29th, 2006 at 8:16 am
[...] Both my girls attend a state licensed day care in our neighborhood four, sometimes five, days a week. Julie at MotherGooseMouse has a great post about the Do’s and Don’ts of working productively with your childcare provider. She’s been a sub at her daughters’ daycare and has great insight into what it’s like to not only being a daycare parent, but a daycare teacher. [...]
August 29th, 2006 at 11:48 am
you’re all so smart. i’m dumb. the end.
August 29th, 2006 at 1:40 pm
GREAT ADVICE.
Do NOT bring your sneezing, hacking child to school to spread around germs to the other kids.
Lisa
August 29th, 2006 at 1:53 pm
DO say “Thank you” — a nice way to get a smile and a look of appreciation from a teacher. Parents rarely stop to say hi, bye, or thank you. I know people are busy trying to get to work, but I found that adding a few extra minutes to chat with the childcare providers was helpful in having a good relationship with them.
August 29th, 2006 at 2:56 pm
Mary beat me to it. Saying “thanks”…spoken or written is always appreciated. Teachers are the least appreciated degreed professionals in our society and sincere displays of gratitude go a long way. This is a great list.
August 29th, 2006 at 7:56 pm
How about DO ask questions at the end of the day- don’t wait for them to tell you every little thing Junior did that day. They have their hands full. DONT take the nap blanket home and act like you washed it even though it just stayed in your car all weekend and pass it off like it’s been laundered. Oh, never mind. That’s just me doing that.
August 29th, 2006 at 8:35 pm
DO NOT call your child’s teacher at home! I teach Pre-K, and when I leave school, I leave it there. This year is the first time that I have had this problem. Also, DO NOT tell your child that if they are feeling sick you will come and get them. Of course they will be sick. Write the teacher a note, to let the teacher know that your child isn’t feeling well, and that we can call if needed.
August 29th, 2006 at 11:12 pm
Phew. That is good to know! I always try to make a really good impression on daycare providers. My son only went to daycare for one week, but I was super nice to them that week–just in case!
August 30th, 2006 at 6:16 am
Don’t park in the drop off area and not move your car even though there are a million people trying to get in while you’re fiddling with your ipod trying to find The Dixie Chicks.
Or maybe that’s just me.
August 30th, 2006 at 3:00 pm
DO label your kids clothes and shoes. DON’T expect the teacher to remember every outfit and the corresponding child. DON’T freak out when your son’s jacket ends up in the lost and found (from not having a label).
August 30th, 2006 at 7:06 pm
About the chatting and asking questions, I often did, but then really I get the feeling it adds to the teachers’ work load. There shoudl be a line between saying Hi and thanks sweetly, and maybe checking in occasionally to ask how things are going — and standing there taking up the teacher’s time when they are either trying to close down for the day or continue watching a gazillion kids.
I caught myself being especially bad about this with our nanny when we had one. I’d come home at 5 or 5:30 or whenever our end time was, and then chat in an attempt to be friendly and check in, but then I’d realize I had just kept her there for an extra 20 minutes unpaid, which is not cool for someone being paid by the hour.
August 30th, 2006 at 11:20 pm
I cannot fucking believe somene would throw away their child’s artwork without even looking at it, right in front of them.
I don’t know why but that bothers me A LOT. Actually, it breaks my heart for any child who has such an asshole for a parent.
August 31st, 2006 at 1:06 am
Don’t linger at the door saying goodbye for ten minutes. If you’re actually talking with the day care provider, that’s one thing. It’s something entirely different when you can’t pry yourself away from the door because there aren’t enough I love yous and I’ll miss yous in your child’s life.
GREAT LIST, MGM!
August 31st, 2006 at 9:02 pm
“DO take a moment to glance at the artwork your child has made. DON’T throw it in the garbage in front of your child or in front of your child’s teacher.”
Whoa.
I guess I’ll have to add “Do refrain from punching the above-mentioned Mom. Don’t make a scene. Do praise that child for the art work before the child’s parent gets there next time.”
September 6th, 2006 at 9:58 pm
Things to Remember Before Sending Your Kids Off to Preschool or Daycare…
Are you sending your children off to preschool or daycare?
If yes, you should be familiar with things that are considered to be important in these places, especially if you’re a first-timer.
What Mothergoosemouse is telling you is a very helpful,…