Got milk?
Well, that depends.
Milk on the garage floor? Check.
Milk on the kitchen floor? Check.
Milk on the walls? Check.
Milk on Kyle’s bike shoes? Check.
Milk on my jeans? Check.
Milk in the carton or in CJ’s cup? Negative, Ghost Rider.
Along with my father’s mantra of “it’s all relative”, he also used to say (many many many times), “MAKE TWO TRIPS!” Usually he said that when I was carrying my dirty laundry down two flights of stairs from my bedroom to the basement, unable to see over my load and feeling for the steps based on memory. I’m sure he saw a skull fracture (and the resulting hospital bills) in my future.
In this case, I should have taken CJ inside first and then come back outside to get the milk and fill her cup. Instead, I spent a good half-hour mopping milk off the kitchen floor and hosing down the garage while shrieking at Tacy to keep CJ out of the way.
As usual, with his wonderful (yet sometimes irritating) ability to look on the silly side of life, when Kyle came home and asked about the wet garage floor and Tacy gave him the scoop, he asked, “Well, did you cry over spilled milk?”
I replied, “No, but I yelled.”
Don’t yell over spilled milk. Now there’s a platitude that actually makes sense.
August 23rd, 2006 at 7:58 am
Sorry, I’m PMSing right now…I’d both yell AND scream over spilled milk at this point. Yesterday I yelled and threw a paint brush over lost keys. But that doesn’t really fit into a mantra. Hmmm.
Maybe I need Midol.
August 23rd, 2006 at 7:59 am
Dont yell over spilled milk. Ha. Makes sense. Easier said then done.
August 23rd, 2006 at 8:01 am
“Negative, Ghost Rider.”
You crack me up. LOL.
August 23rd, 2006 at 8:13 am
Make 2 trips. God I hated hearing that.
And now it makes soooo much sense.
August 23rd, 2006 at 9:37 am
I would have cried. Spilled milk makes me weepy.
August 23rd, 2006 at 10:44 am
You guys finally signed up with Royal Crest?
August 23rd, 2006 at 10:52 am
I just may have cried over that one..especially today..totally PMS’ing….my two year old ripped open a box of corn muffin mix and dumped it on the dining room rug….I gave her away. OK, I didn’t, but I really wanted to after that one.
August 23rd, 2006 at 10:52 am
No, but now I’m seriously considering it.
August 23rd, 2006 at 11:10 am
That was my dad’s mantra too (it’s all relative), LOL!
August 23rd, 2006 at 1:28 pm
The milk is usually safe around here. It’s wine bottles that suffer on the trip into the house (and sometimes at the store, oops).
August 23rd, 2006 at 1:39 pm
That’s my hubbie’s live-and-die by phrase “it’s all relative” and “even stevens”. It doesn’t help when you’re pissed out of your friggin’ mind.
August 23rd, 2006 at 1:46 pm
Yuck! I hate when things like this happen! Especially when you have the “make two trips” in your head and know you would have done that if only you had known what was coming!
August 23rd, 2006 at 2:11 pm
Gah! I totally would have yelled…and then cried…and then yelled again.
On the bright side, at least it wasn’t spilled wine!
August 23rd, 2006 at 3:23 pm
Ok, that’s totally funny. I used to hate it when my mother said, “Make two trips!” I swear, it would make me somehow make one trip….Still do, actually. I hate “two trips!”
August 23rd, 2006 at 3:25 pm
I’m like you – I will load myself down to the point of collapsing just to get it all done in one trip. And like you, I’ve had my share of mishaps as well, although they were of the soda can and spaghetti sauce jar variety.
August 23rd, 2006 at 3:26 pm
Whats up with the milk photo that says
“For milk only”
Are there other things that are regularly placed in milk containers whereas this warning was needed? And who polices that policy?
Is it bad that I still give Emily Very little glasses of milk, so when I have to clean them it is minimal?
Cause the cleaning is coming.
August 23rd, 2006 at 6:58 pm
So who did it? Tacy or CJ?
August 23rd, 2006 at 7:18 pm
Check. Check. Check. Check.
Got Milk all over everything.
Check.
August 23rd, 2006 at 7:48 pm
At our house, “Make two trips!” was “Don’t go upstairs (leave the table, come inside after a shopping trip, etc.) empty-handed!”
August 23rd, 2006 at 8:49 pm
Yes, this DOES make sense. I love this new admonition. I really love it. No, really, it’s totally brilliant. YOU are totally brilliant.
Damn, this may just be the new way to live my life!
August 23rd, 2006 at 9:08 pm
on my tombstone at Arlington, Julie and her brother will have the words “It’sall relative” inscribed, or I will haunt them forever
August 23rd, 2006 at 9:10 pm
Oh, spilled milk is the worst. I would have yelled, too. Like I did last Sunday morning, when I was trying to get everyone ready for the funeral and my house was filling up with relatives. Nathan went to grab the milk from the fridge, and accidentally knocked over a beer. It landed on the kitchen floor and started spraying Rolling Rock all over my kitchen.
I had to restrain myself from picking it up and chugging it down at 9:30 in the morning. It was so sad, having to pour out a perfectly good but going flat quick beer.
August 23rd, 2006 at 10:18 pm
I found “Don’t cry over spilt milk” was a platitude that actually has been, for me, a generic catch-all phrase. It covers a multitude of sins…er…things I’ve dropped, spilled or stained.
Hh
August 23rd, 2006 at 10:41 pm
I have totally cussed over spilled milk.
There was one time I cried too – I had actually managed to pump a bottle (out of two total successes during all the months I nursed) and dropped it. Really. I blame sleep deprivation.
August 24th, 2006 at 4:31 am
My grandfather called it a lazy man’s load, the one trip.
August 24th, 2006 at 6:29 am
Sometimes spilled milk is the icing on the cake… or wait- isn’t there a better analogy- yes, the camel that broke the straws back.
August 24th, 2006 at 7:44 am
Spilled milk makes me want to just move. Seriously…I need to buy a mop.
August 24th, 2006 at 7:45 am
Ps. I wrote about you today. Because you rock. A lot.
August 24th, 2006 at 9:03 am
yelled? I would’ve probably created a small vortex with the amount of anger produced within my frame at that moment; the ripple effect alone would’ve been enough to – well, if I knew my science like I know my shoe fashion, I would have a lot more to say about just what I would’ve done to the time/space continuum if I’d been in your shoes. I think you were clear-headed, in comparison.
p.s. Jenny’s right. You are a blogging GOD.
August 24th, 2006 at 9:06 am
My mom, who had and raised 7 children says that milk when dropped will spread farther than any known substance, that is what you experienced.
August 24th, 2006 at 12:27 pm
LOL. Funny post. Did you deck your husband? Mine’s kind of a smartass too.
The only time I ever cried over spilt milk was when my inlaws threw out an entire QUART of breastmilk that I had spent two months pumping so I could leave our baby overnight with them. It had separated, so they thought it was bad, and dumped it. I was beside myself.
But yeah, mopping up milk sucks. Or orange juice. Gatorade. Apple juice….sigh.
August 24th, 2006 at 2:28 pm
I’m just impressed that you have a mop. Amelia is going through this highly annoying habit of slinging food from her booster seat. Unfortunately the dogs don’t want to eat veggies or fruit so I have to clean it up.
August 26th, 2006 at 8:30 pm
Sticky substances on the floor, spilled by anyone……I used to mind cleaning them. Now I don’t mind cleaning them if only I could do it without hearing my kid scream. I just want to clean in silence. I want everyone to not scream. Even me, lol.
September 1st, 2006 at 10:12 am
Oh, no.
Splig once did a similar move with chocolate milk.
And there was yelling, crying, slipping, and cursing.