I will endeavor to teach my girls self-awareness and self-confidence so that they can resist peer pressure and make their own decisions.

It is a big scary world out there, but I think it’s our responsibility as parents to ensure our children don’t turn into bullies and don’t succumb to peer pressure in extreme circumstances like hazing. Fortunately I never was a victim of hazing, although during initiation week for my high school sorority we put the new girls through a mini “hell” week with silly rules like no talking to boys, no shaving their legs, no makeup, etc. But it was never dangerous activity.

Critical thinking skills, self confidence, and empathy are things we hope to instill in our children so that not only will they not be a victim, but will not hurt others as well. I think lack of compassion and not being able to think it through is the cause for the inability to discern between harmless hazing and abuse.

I have never been in a hazing situation personally, although I have dated several ex-fraternity brothers who broke the code of silence by telling me what occurred during Rush Week. I found it both horrific and strangely fascinating.

I remember a couple of years ago the footage on TV of senior high school girls in Illinois beating the shit out of freshmen girls during a muddy football game. I was appalled. If my daughter was involved in something like that (as either a senior or a freshmen), I would wonder what the hell I had done wrong as a parent.

Frankly, no matter what the age, I think those doing the hazing are the ones with low self-esteem. They want…no NEED…to hurt others to salve their own wounds. They need to beat someone else down to build themselves up. Power and control can go a long way in anaesthetizing inadequacy and self-doubt.

I applaud you for taking steps to arm your children. It’s a real concern these days and I worry for my oldest son, who is very laid-back, very malleable, very trusting. My youngest doesn’t take any shit from anybody, lol.

I think #5 and #6 are the most telling – if you take the confidentiality of Greek hazing/initiation out of the equation, what would the answer to those questions be?

I don’t think i ever experienced hazing, but i was never in cheerleading, a sorority, etc. And I think a big reason that so many hazing-type activities have been done away with is that people (parents) are so lawsuit-happy – mainly related to #3 and #4, and there is much greater recognition of “risk of emotional abuse.” Something like that wouldn’t have even been considered when I was a teenager.