OBE
Edited to add: I feel compelled to clarify that this piece is not about my parents or Kyle’s parents or any other family member.
To whom it does concern:
I don’t often think of you. Only when I notice one of the gifts you gave us or when someone else mentions you. It’s been years since I’ve seen you.
Not only did I enjoying spending time with you, I felt privileged to do so. You were so quick-witted; I hung on every word. I admired you in so many respects, and I basked in your affection for me.
I don’t remember when I began to sense that you were no longer interested in seeing me. But the last time I extended an offer, I felt silly for even reaching out (and I felt downright embarrassed when you were clearly not interested). I can’t deny that the rejection hurt my feelings, or at least it once did. Fortunately, now I’m more puzzled by it than anything else.
Is it because I’ve seen you behave in an undignified manner? Heard you say things that – in retrospect – you might find embarrassing or want to take back?
Is it because I made choices that were different from yours? Choices that perhaps you felt were wrong?
Or is it simply because I’m a kid? Even though I now have kids of my own (whom you’ve never met). I’d like to think that I didn’t behave childishly around you, but perhaps I did.
Sadly, I’ve resigned myself to the likelihood that I won’t see you again. I don’t know what I could have or should have done differently, but that’s of little consequence now. As they say, it’s OBE*.
Regretfully yours,
mothergoosemouse and family
*overcome by events
June 12th, 2006 at 5:17 am
Isn’t it odd how probably every one of us can read this and easily read into it our own father, husband, boyfriend, or best-friend?
I’m sorry your father/ex-hubby/former boyfriend/missing best friend is an ass but I’m more sorry for them since that they are missing out on the chance to know such a wonderful person.
June 12th, 2006 at 5:42 am
Julie, this was fantastic.
People just suck sometimes.
June 12th, 2006 at 6:06 am
I agree with Jenny…I was reading this and thinking of the people in my life/past that it could apply to. I’m sorry someone is missing out on your life, your kids, YOU, but it’s their loss, truly.
June 12th, 2006 at 6:14 am
Fellow former Ohioan here. Thanks for stopping by my blog this weekend. Love yours. This post hit home. =)
June 12th, 2006 at 7:41 am
Wow.
June 12th, 2006 at 9:43 am
I think we’ve all been in a situation like this. I’ve started realizing that if a friendship becomes too high maintenance, it’s better to cut the ties and remember the friendship the way it was.
June 12th, 2006 at 9:43 am
I’ve had that kind of loss.
Well written.
June 12th, 2006 at 9:46 am
You know you have a great post when every one who reads it can identify it.
Sadly, me too. All part of life I suppose.
June 12th, 2006 at 10:45 am
I could insert someone into this story too. People are baffling sometimes.
June 12th, 2006 at 10:57 am
I hear ya, sista! Usually I just sum it up with a “fuck them”, but you put it more eloquently.
Just know that Trav and I wouldn’t do that to you guys. You are stuck with our asses indefinitely.
Stacey
June 12th, 2006 at 1:41 pm
It’s always hard for me to accept the ebb and flow of relationships that come and go in our lives. Especially the ones in which you don’t know what happened to cause the break. It’s hard to have a loose string hanging, isn’t it?
June 12th, 2006 at 6:31 pm
When I first discovered someone genuinely didn’t like me, I was shocked, what’s not to like, I wondered. Then after some thought, some people can not take my smarty pants sense of humor…too bad for them. I’m not gonna change the funniest thing about me. Sometimes life just gets in the way.
June 12th, 2006 at 6:33 pm
I think the “breakup” of friendships is so difficult. It often doesn’t happen with a clean and neat severing of the relationship, or even with a dramatic confrontation or other event to end it — people sometimes just grow apart, with nothing major or bad happening. Those are the people you will never forget, and the circumstances that you’ll never completely understand.
June 12th, 2006 at 8:24 pm
I don’t know who its about and I don’t know the circumstances that surround this, but I liked it.
Breakups, of any type, are hard but I like your attitude.
June 12th, 2006 at 8:50 pm
As a few people have said, that we can imagine almost any figure as the recipient of those words is testament to the universality of the experience you describe.
Loved it.
June 12th, 2006 at 11:04 pm
Absolutely. That is one of those universal experiences. Wonderfully written!
June 13th, 2006 at 8:29 am
Wow. This hit a little too close to home for me. But very well said, Julie!
June 15th, 2006 at 8:40 am
You said it perfectly! But what should you say when the person you haven’t spoken to for months, because they “ended” the friendship, all of a sudden calls you one day? And you have realized that you aren’t interested anymore. Ick.