Soul sucking
I knew that I would not enjoy this job. I didn’t take it because I thought I would enjoy it. But I didn’t think it would suck the life force out of me.
I know that our customers have “impaired credit”. That’s why they have loans with us. Some of them are in situations that were (mostly) beyond their control and are working hard to get out of those situations. Some of them would rather shift the blame and feel sorry for themselves. And some of them purposely made their beds, and they roll around in them while making threats and demands and generally acting like the dregs of humanity.
I treat each call with care. I read the notes on the account. I take the time to analyze the situation and present options. I explain the pros and cons of each course of action. I give specific direction as to how they should proceed once they choose an option. Sometimes people let me help them; sometimes they do not.
No one has cursed AT me – yet. A man said something to my supervisor that was so foul I can’t repeat it here, lest the search engines turn up all sorts of hits that I don’t want. My supervisor is definitely matter-of-fact, but she is calm and helpful, and I’m certain that she did not provoke that man. Last night, the woman who sits next to me was speaking to a woman who addressed her child in the background as “you stupid ass”, and when my co-worker told her that the calls would continue until we secured her payment, she shouted “Fuck you!” and slammed down the phone. These are not isolated incidents.
I have had people hang up on me. I have had people pretend not to be themselves (don’t think that I can’t tell). I have had people babble in gibberish, pretending that they do not speak English. I’m speaking to the people who are guests on Jerry Springer.
The worst calls are the ones where I can hear the children in the background. I’m speaking to someone’s Mommy or Daddy. I can hardly stand to maintain a conversation with an adult when I can hear a baby crying in the background. I want to tell the customer, “Please, go pick up your child. Call back later when your children are asleep and make your payment. Just please, go comfort your baby.”
Back when we were living in the shithole apartment in Hackensack, both Kyle and I viewed our living arrangements as motivation to get fabulous jobs and move into the city as we had planned all along. We succeeded. And while I am happy with my current living arrangements, and I do enjoy my co-workers and supervisor, and I am able to help some of the people some of the time, this job is not for me. I don’t need a private office with a view of Central Park and a refrigerator stocked with Heineken (again). But I do need to feel as if I belong. And I just DON’T. Not here.
January 17th, 2006 at 9:20 pm
It’s hard Julie. In my work, I am talking with parents and license exempt child care providers and I have the same feelings. In fact, there have been times when I have finished a call and called in possible abuse/neglect due to what I have heard on the phone.
I think that people forget what a window into their lives the phone can be. I mean, if I have to scream to get over YOUR tv in YOUR house, turn it down. If dogs are barking and children crying, take care of it. I can call you later.
However, I try to go into each phone call with the attitude that I am modeling good boundries, polite conversation and accountablility.
Not unlike young children, some of the clients have never had anyone speak to them in a matter which was not abusive and obscenity laden.
But it is Exhausting. Really Exhausting. I can’t tell you it will get better, or easier, but I will tell you that you have learned an invaluable lesson as to what it is to be the Customer Service person on the other end of the phone. I am MUCH nicer to the Health Insurance people now.
January 17th, 2006 at 10:26 pm
Then I would say Get Out! Before they suck your will to live right out of you!
January 17th, 2006 at 10:48 pm
I did phone canvassing one summer for an environmental organization. One of my last nights on the job before I went back to college some guy was so rude to me that I started crying. It was a humiliating experience that I would never care to repeat.
I’m so sorry you are in a life sucking job. Don’t give up hope; there has to be something better out there.
January 17th, 2006 at 10:57 pm
big sigh. that really sucks.
I am really sorry, babe.
January 18th, 2006 at 6:38 am
Phone work like that is very difficult, and I admire you for taking the job in the first place. Big ((hugs)) and hope you can remove yourself from that job very soon.
January 18th, 2006 at 7:11 am
I can only imagine how hard and frustrating it would be to deal with people who don’t seem to have any sense of respect for others (including their own kids.) You are a strong, strong person for hanging in there. But I’m with Roo, if it starts to really suck your soul from your body — get out. Better to have you be a happy and healthy wife and mom than to succumb to the negativeness that you are exposed to.
January 18th, 2006 at 7:23 am
That does suck. Hopefully, something better will come along and your spirits will be lifted!
January 18th, 2006 at 7:28 am
Your job sounds just awful. I agree with everyone else out there: get out before your faith in humankind is damaged and you start bringing it home with you. Hope you can find something else quick!
January 18th, 2006 at 8:21 am
Julie, what you are doing is something very few people could stomach on an ongoing basis. Remember that it is a stop-gap position and keep your eyes and ears peeled for something that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning. Will Kyle’s new job enable you to quit this one if it wears on you too much?
Thinking of you, sweetie. Have you thought of teaching at a jr. college or something?
January 18th, 2006 at 9:06 am
Will Kyle’s new job enable you to leave this nightmare behind to look for greener pastures? I know it’s always better to look for a job when you already have one, but not at the expense of your soul.
Hang in there.
January 18th, 2006 at 9:48 am
Oh I totally understand how you feel and I’m so sorry.
One of my first jobs was as a casualty adjuster for auto accidents. People screamed cursed at me, called me names and sometimes threatened me and that wasn’t even the worst part. Having to put a price on someone’s legitmate pain and suffering, someone who truly didn’t have the money to pay bills incurred in an accident that was not their fault? That sucked. The name calling and being treated like a child by my superiors was just the icing on the cake.
I quit after two years and it was the best career decision I ever made.
January 18th, 2006 at 10:09 am
Until you find something that is a better fit, take heart in the idea that you may truly be helping people get their acts together. At least you are probably more kind and helpful than most.
I had a “spell” in college where I didn’t pay off a bill to a national department store and they sicced the meanest a-hole in the world on me. I paid it in short order, but he was so awful I refuse to shop there 14 years later. I did learn my lesson though, and have a had spotless record ever since.
I can see how that job would suck rear-end though. Here’s to finding a better fit!
January 18th, 2006 at 12:45 pm
I love what Meghan just wrote about helping people get their acts together. That and constant reminders that This Too Shall Pass and that You Are Better Than All This! Oh, and isn’t there something about that which doesn’t kill us making us stronger?!
I realize all that probably helps you for about 3 minutes of an 8-hour day. You have lots of sympathy from here and tons of finding-something-better soon good vibes.
January 18th, 2006 at 12:53 pm
I used to mention four words that sent collectors scurrying for cover: “Planning To File Bankruptcy.” Amazing how docile they became after that! Worked every time.
January 18th, 2006 at 1:20 pm
When I worked in a credit department doing collections for a couple of years in the early 90’s, I felt just like you about the kids crying. Mostly it was me calling them, and sometimes I felt that the kids were just used as an excuse, “Kid’s crying. Call you back.” They’d hang up and…never call back. It was even harder when they’d ignore the kidlet to speak with me. And I DID get sworn at. A.LOT.
Hang in there, baby.
Hh
January 18th, 2006 at 2:49 pm
Oh Julie-that sounds awful-unfortunately I can relate. Before my kids I worked at an insurance firm managing disablity claims. Let’s just say it was no fun calling people when they were denied. Talk about some major verbal abuse. I was no good at customer service. I used to hang up on people when they were screaming at me-I don’t know how I didn’t get fired.
January 18th, 2006 at 4:36 pm
ugh Julie.
I am so sorry about this job.
I remember one of my soul-sucking jobs — I sold print ads for a tourist paper door to door (well – business to business) It was all cold calling. I had one guy lecture me for 30 minutes about how he hated print advertising and we were a useless publication and why would you choose this line of work unless you were a loser, etc., etc., this reaction wasn’t uncommon. i only lasted a week.
May you find the inner strength to let the words pass over your head and to leave that job behind you when you leave it for the day. And may something much, much better come along ASAP.
January 19th, 2006 at 8:57 am
Oh Julie, I’m so sorry it’s that bad for you at work. I worked in the Loan Dept. at at Credit Union and heard my fair share of verbal abuse both in person and on the phone.
I know it’s not supposed to be funny, but people speaking in gibberish pretending it’s a real language? That is just crazy.
I hope you either find the strength to do the job without losing your mind or find something better soon. These customers might not realize it, but you are a mighty strong person, and it sounds like you are doing your best.
January 19th, 2006 at 10:17 am
I hope you can get out of there sooner rather than later.
I don’t have the same kind of job, but I’ve lately felt the same way about it, that it takes and takes and never gives back. So—I feel for you.
January 19th, 2006 at 3:45 pm
Fortunately Kyle starts on Monday, so you can start thinking of getting out real soon, regardless of whether or not you have another job lined up. I can totally feel for you, because I was subjected to living vicariously through Travis when he was collecting. Actually, working as a collector would probably be better than living with Travis while he is collecting, but I digress.
Any chance you can go back to the daycare while you find something else? I know it drove you nuts, but I don’t think you were this miserable…..except maybe that one day in the 1 year old room.
I predict you will be out of there in a couple of weeks at most. In the meantime, there is beer and chocolate…..although I recommend they be consumed seperately.
Stacey
January 19th, 2006 at 4:41 pm
That sounds really, really difficult. It is hard to get motivated to get up and go to work when you have that to look forward to.
January 19th, 2006 at 7:03 pm
I would definitely think about revisiting your options once Kyle starts his new job.
Someone brought up teaching at jr. college – how about that avenue?
January 19th, 2006 at 9:17 pm
Thank you for all the kind words and encouragement. I do appreciate it greatly. It’s the times when I have really HELPED someone – not just taken a payment from them, but educated them on their finances and given them the tools they need to make better choices – that keep me going. That and my ridiculously competitive nature and my pride at being in the top 30 collectors in my first month there.
I do like the junior college idea. I will investigate that one. Thanks T and Melanhead.