Heart attacks brought to you by Verizon Wireless
I hate telecom companies. Let me just say that up front. And I have studied their operations and worked with enough of them to make that statement with impunity. They are RAT BASTARDS, all of them.
In New York, Verizon is the only game in town for land lines of any variety. You can go to any carrier you want for the long-haul portion, but that proverbial last mile is handled by Verizon. They have you BY THE BALLS. And they know it. And they will fuck with you purely because they enjoy it. You will wait for your line until THEY are ready to hand it over. And sometimes even when they are ready, it still doesn’t work. Technology, you know.
Verizon was also the carrier that provided the best wireless coverage in the New York metro area, so we dropped AT&T and hopped onto Verizon/Bell Atlantic/NYNEX/whoever-the-hell-they-are-this-week.
Fabulous. No complaints. Great coverage. Didn’t have to perch on the edge of the balcony to get a signal. Talked all the way through the Lincoln Tunnel, much to my NJ Transit seatmate’s dismay.
Then we move out here. Coverage is still good. No complaints there. But we need new phone numbers so that we can make local calls without incurring monumental charges.
I cancel our old numbers and activate new ones on our existing handsets using the EZMove process. Or so I think.
I get e-mail confirmations from Verizon that our new numbers are active and our old numbers have been disconnected. Or so I think.
I get bills in the mail from Verizon informing me that I haven’t paid the bills that in fact I have paid. Or so I think.
Today I got another one of those bills. And being unemployed, I’m not really in the mood to shell any more chunks of change to a telecom company when I’m pretty sure my account’s in good standing. And being in a bit of a feisty mood anyway, I called Financial Customer Service.
I spoke to one bored young woman (do I sound like I’m eighty or what?), who transferred me to a somewhat animated young man, who transferred me to a charming young Southern belle, who transferred me back to another bored young woman. By this point, I had had it. I had grown increasingly less cheerful with each transfer, and when the second bored young woman answered my call and asked me to explain the problem, I became unpleasant.
I already explained the situation to the last three people I spoke to, and each of them told me they would inform the next person. Are you asking me to explain AGAIN?
Yes, she was.
I moved from New Jersey to Colorado. I cancelled my old NJ numbers and got new CO numbers assigned to our old handsets.
That’s not what her records showed.
Right. The billing statements on the Verizon site indicate that billing on my husband’s old NJ number stopped in July, whereas the billing on my old NJ still continues. That is a mistake.
Did I have any evidence of that?
Evidence?
Yes. Proof that I had cancelled those old numbers.
Well, back in July I received confirmation e-mails that the move had been successfully completed. I didn’t think I needed to KEEP those for three months. And in fact, every time I got one of these “reminder” letters, I thought it pertained to billing on the new CO numbers. So I paid the amount specified, but apparently I was paying toward the new CO numbers, when the bill was ACTUALLY for the old NJ number. Only one NJ number. And that in itself is evidence that this is a mistake, because why would I cancel only one of the NJ numbers and activate two new CO numbers, one of those new CO numbers being on the same handset on which the old NJ number is supposedly still in use?
There are separate billing systems for east and west, so -
I’m not interested in the intricacies of your billing system. I’m interested in getting my old NJ number cancelled – as I had thought I had done back in July – and these charges deleted from my account. May I please speak to your supervisor?
My supervisor will tell you the same thing that I’m telling you, but you won’t let me get a word in edgewise.
That is because I am not interested in being told what your records show, when I dispute those records and what they are showing is illogical anyway.
Hold please.
Kyle sets a bottle of Fat Tire in front of me.
Ma’am, I have a representative from west coast billing on the line. I’ve explained to her your situation, so you won’t have to explain again.
Thank you.
The west coast system shows that one number was cancelled, but the other was not. We’ll cancel the other number and zero out your account.
Thank you. Wow – I haven’t had that much fun arguing since I left New York.
October 11th, 2005 at 8:56 pm
RRRG. Similar experiences I have had. Why are they so difficult? Good job being persistent and getting through.
October 12th, 2005 at 6:28 am
That is great! Don’t you just love calling those kind of places??? My husband had an experince like that last night, I thought he was going to throw the phone at the wall:)
October 12th, 2005 at 7:17 am
Verizon operates the same kind of racket that Time Warner Cable does for television service here. I hate TWC. But I’m forced to use them because sattelite dishes don’t work for shit around here. Ugh!
October 12th, 2005 at 7:38 am
Man, how frustrating. That’s quite an accomplishment to have gotten it all straight! I bet you had that “don’t f- with me tone” going on.
October 12th, 2005 at 6:35 pm
I totally agree – phone companies, one and all are FAT RAT BASTARDS! We had so many problems when we moved last year. Same sort of deal only they cancelled our phone one month early and then proceeded to charge us. For phones we didn’t have. Assholes. Anyway, I hope, for the sake of your sanity, that the situation is indeed resolved. We had supervisors tell us we were all good only to get another bill two weeks later.
October 12th, 2005 at 9:01 pm
dude, you’re scary. also, very cool and wrathful. I like that.
October 12th, 2005 at 9:02 pm
Persistance pays off. Way to go!
October 12th, 2005 at 9:53 pm
Fat Tire should be a prerequisite for speaking to ANY phone company! Seriously.
How annoying.
October 14th, 2005 at 12:59 pm
Glad that you had someone to spar with verbally! Verizon has our home phone service…our window for service 8AM-7PM.
Heather